My Sanity Needed Vents

[KarenK]

Gwen, it's probably best to disregard a lot of what she says. Because her thinking is obviously warped, it's not worth wasting time to try and understand it. Calling you wacky because you are straight is not going to turn you gay. Is that her long term goal? I know she's doing a good job of making you crazy. Where does she spend time when she's not with you? Does she have a job?

Having our Thanksgiving meal on Tuesday as my son works on Thursday. Easier to have it on one of his days off. I get lazier each year about cooking. Less time I am standing, the better off I am, so am going with instant potatoes and canned yams this year. Gone are the good ol' days of Ron's delicious dinners.

 

[kayc]

Gwen, that poem is amazing, beautifully expressed.  
Karen, you're having your meal today then?  Good luck to you, not bad to assign each of them something to do, stir a pot, carve, something.  Paper plates are okay too!

I fixed a dessert for 12 yesterday, recipe has WAY too much sweetener, tastes like a sugar lick!  Unfortunately, a lot of expensive ingredients and time into this so have to try to choke it down, maybe twice/day with Kodie's help.  Will cut sweetener in half next time.  Maybe to 1/4 and add a bit if needed.  It was my MIL's recipe, converted, used mild sweetener, guess sweet things are out of my system, I double checked her original recipe card, yep, it really called for it!  Can't believe we liked it back then!

Gwen, she is what they call a mean alcoholic.  Thankfully my dad was sweet even drunk because he was drunk every night.  She doesn't like labels applied to HERSELF, but freely does it to you.  Wondering also where she goes every night.

 

 

[Margm]

 

[Widow2015]

Marg:  Laughing Out Loud and saying AMEN 🤣  Dee🤣

[Gwenivere]

16 hours ago, KarenK said:

Where does she spend time when she's not with you? Does she have a job?

Dee spends a lot of time places she is volunteering .  The Community Center and Gods Little Acre.  
 

Time got away from me today.  So many things went wrong.  Have to get to bed.  
 

No boring you all tonight.  I thought I had season 4 of Yellowstone and I was recording 5.  It’s set up to do it, but it’s not.  Now I have to manually put them in.  My alarm clock  is shot so I have to get one today.  I need one for each side since I can’t roll over.  
 

wish I could cry.  😰

[kayc]

Cartoon is cute.

Thought I had recordings to watch but my Dish has been messing up lately, going bonkers when recording and freezing up so I don't get it, so set it up to do them again on another day.

Snow forecast for several days beginning Sunday and all week....

[Gwenivere]

Kay, looking at snow already?  I’m hoping we don’t see much and rarely.  It’s just too ugly quickly living on a busy street.  
 

I'm hoping my brain is working better today.  I’m trying to rebuild the Yellowstone season I missed.  By the last hour before bed I get stressed out knowing the sleep thing is coming and how complicated it is.  One good thing is my alarm I thought needed replaced doesn’t.  Dee’s taking my cell phone in to get it reactiv.eted.  Turning out to be  complicated.  At least for her .  I spoke to customer service on the phone and it just sounds tedious for me.  These things are so hard for people with short fuses  and  she’s one.

Talked with a new surgeon and he wants  3 tests before deciding if I am a candidate for this last physical option.  The challenge would be a  CT scan. Would be very iffy I could that.  X-rays and bone density would be hard too.  Aside from the pain, he actually listened to my mental concerns.  Wants me to talk to someone they have that addresses this.  So that’s the next step.  
 

I'm starting to feel really scrungy.  It’s going on 2 weeks without a shower.  My bath aide changed job hours a and is now sick.   I’m going to have to get out the thick bath wipes.  
 

Watched  Capote last nigh5.  Sad that Hoffman and Liam Neeson's wife bo5h passed on.  Him from drugs/alcohol and  her from a freak ski accident.

Gonna be an odd day today.  Will be lots of triggers.  I already have them seeing a tree from when we bought living trees for Xmas.  It started at 4 feet and so huge now.  Steve basting the turkey all day.  Yup, it’s gonna be tough today.  Can’t even escape into phone tasks, everything is closed.  
 

💕 is all.  

 

 

[kayc]

4 hours ago, Gwenivere said:

Dee’s taking my cell phone in to get it reactiv.eted.

Good, I hope they'll do it for her!

4 hours ago, Gwenivere said:

 Wants me to talk to someone they have that addresses this.

I'm glad he listened.  So often they're dismissive.

4 hours ago, Gwenivere said:

Kay, looking at snow already?

Starting Sat.. night/Sunday, going to the week after and who knows how long beyond that.  So long as I can handle it, don't like feet, rather get inches.  My hands have so many cuts on them it's painful even typing.

Melissa and her BF are coming to Paul's with me and Kodie, will have her drive.  So many fatalities on our Hwy this week, it's scary.  Anyone is better off at home.

[Gwenivere]

Woke up to problems with one parakeet.  Both were fighting last night and  one was on the bottom of the cage looking almost dead.  She’s up and around now.  Doing normal stuff but her right wing seems sensitive.  Being an even more boring and lonely day I’m grateful I don’t have to deal with a sick or dead bird.

Typical holiday.  Everything closed except Walgreens.  Maybe some fast food places.   
 

Dee stayed home all day.  Was very difficult and nice . Not being around people all day made her calmer.  She lost it a little about watching the news.  Now about my wanting some alone time  (like she takes) so I can do this.  
 

My shower friend is coming by.  Hope this works as I can’t do lit and I have counseling shortly after.  Don’t want any bathroom emergencies.  That complicates so much.  
 

This switching sleeping sides every night is annoying.  In rehab I would do that every morning, but I was doing better there.  Lots more walking so I had stronger muscles.  Those are long gone.  So much for my coming home and ‘doing better'.  GAWD!!!  Dee’s been out here 3 times annoyed I’m doing what I always do now which is this and my games.  She said I get a lot of alone time.  Not by frigging choice! I don’t tell her when she’s wherever she parks for hers.  Why she has to find a way to mess up a day and blame it on me is amazing.  I’m just getting better at shrugging it off.  Better plan on going to bed without help.  
 

Anyway, need to focus on getting thru today as that also involves pinning my hair up which is a huge effort.  
 

Hope everyone’s holiday was the best it could be.  💕

[kayc]

Gwen, it was, thank you, I was nervous because of all the horrid accidents on the Hwy this week, well TG was uneventful, coming back the roads were nearly deserted.  Kodie spent four hours getting pummeled, humped, licked on, etc.  He slept like a log when we got in the car and when we came home, still asleep.  Panther (typical cat) was gone when we got home, finally came back and ate.  I think he's peoed (can't find in dictionary) because I wouldn't let him in the house.  I went out and pet him when I had a chance, got a late dinner and loaded the fire.
Melissa and Finley were great, so good to see her looking happy again, it's been years.  He's very affection and polite, Paul even commented on how nice it is.  
The kids are amazing, several of them, including Ceci played the piano for us, amazingly well!

I'm sorry you had another "time" with Dee...she has serious issues and needs therapy or something. 

 

[Gwenivere]

Got my shower.  Also lots of food.  Turkey soup and lots of chocolate.  Pain pill hit me hard having gotten up early.  Wish I’d wake up with a couple hours to still sleep instead of this 25 minute stuff.  Not enough enduring the need to get up.

My cousin is calling for my birthday which was yesterday.  Not really looking forward to it.  She’s a fixer and I don’t want to talk about all this time as I’ve gotten it off here.  
 

Better get going to the usual bed routine.  Don’t want to go too early or thee withdrawal will be too intense.  

Was tough without steve and kids on my day which I prepared for best I could.  Hit a very low percentage.

[kayc]

I hope you had a good birthday, Gwen.  My friend Kay had a baby on TG day, Nov. 26, it was great, turkey, pumpkin pie and she didn't have to cook!  Now that child is 41 and a FB friend.  I wish Kay could see her and her family (4 kids), but unfortunately she died of cancer years ago.  My little sister's bdy is Nov. 27 and sometimes falls on TG but not the year she was born.

Good luck with your cousin.  It's nice she calls although I know what you mean, I have a sister who is a "fixer."  Some things can't be fixed.

 

 

[Widow2015]

Gwen: Happy Belated Birthday!  Glad to hear your shower was managed.  Always wishing a Good Day for you. Dee

[brat#2]

Gwen, Happy Belated Birthday, I know it wasn't the best day and that it was hard without your true family to celebrate with, but even though I might not say it often, you are always in my thoughts.  Joyce

 

[Margm]

Gwen, I hate birthdays, mine or anyone else's.  I guess not having them anymore would mean I didn't have to hate them.  Don't like holidays either.  I am the perfect Grinch, except he is nicer.  Still, hate it for any of  you all to have to put up with crappy people.  I found my picture. Would not let me load it so I will find one when I was happy.  Think I have put it on before.   This was my 2nd Margarita.  The 3rd one I was hanging my head over a clean commode and then I passed out.  Could never hold my liquor.  They called Billy to come get me.  Kelli, my daughter, said every time Mama went to a party we always had to go get her.   True.  I didn't go to many.

 

[Widow2015]

Marg:  You look like you were having a really good time.  Love the cute look on that adorable face.  Made me smile.  Hugs, Dee

[KarenK]

Gwen, Happy late birthday wishes. Hope today went smoothly for you.

Marg, you definitely looked happy and if you weren't, you didn't know it. Drinking didn't agree with me either. Passed out on our wedding day. Was probably an omen.

[Margm]

Just needed a pick me up, and that was literally what Billy had to do.  He would always take me to my parties (our working groups) for some holiday.  At this one they were celebrating my last trip to MD Anderson (I would not go back), doc said he could follow me, treatment ended.  They had a CD (movie, I guess) of John Holmes, the porn star (all girls party), but I passed out before they played the movie.  It was all in good fun.  We were a wild bunch, and I think there are two of us left now.  This actually was a good memory, Billy loved to pick me up, and he knew I could not drink.  He never drank.  Not moral or religious reasons, it just made him sick.  Would kill me now.  Life did have its moments.

[Gwenivere]

Thank you everyone.  Sure would be nice if it meant something anymore.  I think you all know what that means.  Did get so much candy tho.  
 

The parakeet I thought was going to be OK is not.  She’s back on the bottom of the cage and in what I’ve always recognized as death coming.  Will have to get another as they do better with a partner.  Just like we do.  She died yesterday afternoon.   Dee went way overboard about it.  I like them, but not like a dog or cat.  She refuses to go get another one for me.  Going to ask Nina if she will.  

Going thru hoops getting my cell phone going.  It’s working now with a new number.  Will create problems for all it was tied for years.  Had it memorized.  Now I have a new one and don’t understand why the other is unassigned now.  Want to switch to ATT as they will deduct  it without me doing it every month unlike T Mobile.  Then I realized too late I got scammed.  I was so stupid   and gave him my social security number.  Have to call ASAP Monday on that.  I feel so stupid.  Know better when I have a clear head.  Right after Direct TV made a service call, a guy showed up to see if I was satisfied and said he could save me some phone costs as they team with ATT.  Said he needed d to verify my taxable income.  I won’t put my number on websites but gave it to him.  I really messed up.  I can’t believe I was so gullible.  I don’t know what damage can be done.  

[KarenK]

Gwen, I'm so sorry you were targeted by that creep. I think service providers usually follow up with a phone call or email survey. I've never had one come to my house anyway.

Sorry about your little bird. I had one as a child. I let it out to fly around and it broke it's neck flying into a mirror. Always felt bad about letting it out. Hope your friend will get you a replacement and that they are compatible.

[V. R.]

2 hours ago, Gwenivere said:

Thank you everyone.  Sure would be nice if it meant something anymore.  I think you all know what that means.  Did get so much candy tho.  
 

The parakeet I thought was going to be OK is not.  She’s back on the bottom of the cage and in what I’ve always recognized as death coming.  Will have to get another as they do better with a partner.  Just like we do.  She died yesterday afternoon.   Dee went way overboard about it.  I like them, but not like a dog or cat.  She refuses to go get another one for me.  Going to ask Nina if she will.  

Going thru hoops getting my cell phone going.  It’s working now with a new number.  Will create problems for all it was tied for years.  Had it memorized.  Now I have a new one and don’t understand why the other is unassigned now.  Want to switch to ATT as they will deduct  it without me doing it every month unlike T Mobile.  Then I realized too late I got scammed.  I was so stupid   and gave him my social security number.  Have to call ASAP Monday on that.  I feel so stupid.  Know better when I have a clear head.  Right after Direct TV made a service call, a guy showed up to see if I was satisfied and said he could save me some phone costs as they team with ATT.  Said he needed d to verify my taxable income.  I won’t put my number on websites but gave it to him.  I really messed up.  I can’t believe I was so gullible.  I don’t know what damage can be done.  

Happy belated birthday dear Gwen.

I'm so sorry about your parakeet. You're right about needing to get another companion, the one left behind will be so lonely otherwise. I don't want to scare you but I remember when my daughter was a little girl she had two hamsters, male and female. Then when one died, the other died soon after.  😢

 

[kayc]

3 hours ago, Gwenivere said:

I was so stupid   and gave him my social security number.

It happens, esp. as we age and have so much on our minds.   And the distraction of pain.  Just stay vigilant, I ascribe to Equifax, they let me know of other associations with that or my credit cards.

I am sorry about your parakeet.  I had a couple when I was young.  One of them got outside once, was terrified it wouldn't come in, took HOURS to get it back, it was up a tree!  I'm sorry Dee wouldn't get you another bird, not hard to do.  It'd be nice if she'd lay aside her differences and earn her keep.   Went through that with my sister's "caregiver" (not!!), she wouldn't even read her the directions to her new vacuum she'd wanted her to get!  Had she mentioned it to me, I would have, but she got her lawn guy to do it, bless his heart!

Marg, that is an adorable picture of you!  Hard to believe we were all so young once!

I'm getting a load of dry firewood delivered today, Jack had brought me rotted dry wood and I'm burning 3 x day instead of 2, not enough to make it through winter at this rate, so this will help a bit.  Will have to get more come Spring.  Stuck here all day and can't go to church because I realized too late it was Sun. and he didn't give me a time...tried calling back, no voicemail set up.  He lives in a barn and used the phone at the main house and they're gone.  So will stick around except for my walks with Kodie and watch for anyone coming down the street with firewood.

 

[Gwenivere]

Thank you everyone.  Sure would be nice if it meant something anymore.  I think you all know what that means.  Did get so much candy tho.  
 

The parakeet I thought was going to be OK is not.  She’s back on the bottom of the cage and in what I’ve always recognized as death coming.  Will have to get another as they do better with a partner.  Just like we do.  She died Saturday afternoon.   Dee went way overboard about it.  I like them, but not like a dog or cat.  She refuses to go get another one for me.  Going to ask Nina if she will.  

Going thru hoops getting my cell phone going.  It’s working now with a new number.  Will create problems for all it was tied for years.  Had it memorized.  Now I have a new one and don’t understand why the other is unassigned now.  Want to switch to ATT as they will deduct  it without me doing it every month unlike T Mobile.  Then I realized too late I got scammed.  I was so stupid   and gave him my social security number.  Have to call ASAP Monday on that.  I feel so stupid.  Know better when I have a clear head.  Right after Direct TV made a service call, a guy showed up to see if I was satisfied and said he could save me some phone costs as they team with ATT.  Said he needed d to verify my taxable income.  I won’t put my number on websites but gave it to him.  I really messed up.  I can’t believe I was so gullible.  I don’t know what damage can be done.  
 

Yesterday was full of worry about my SS number, trying to find out anything I could do to get ahead of any damage, mucking with cell phone , talking with my Sunday buddy when she brought up assisted living.  Called my cousin and she talked about getting more income for disability.  Dee just has to be her usual drained self and I feel like I’ve been thrU a blender.  Last night it wasn’t me!  It was someone I knew that was messing with her head for years.  I warned her but as with all people with agendas, she exposed herself.  Dinner tonight is another turkey traditional.  Not going to complain as it’s healthy and free.  I’m barely able to drag myself up.  I definitely wasn’t planning on my chore with SS. today.  Hope it doesn’t take all day, but this is the government.  

[KarenK]

Have you contacted Direct TV to see if this was normal procedure for a follow up and this was a real employee?

[kayc]

Good idea, Karen.  

I didn't go to church, instead waited around for wood guy and he didn't show.  He called last night and said he's come today.  Wants paid in cash so have to void my check.

Ugh all this and snow today.  Red flag alert showed it started last night, nope, not yet!

Gwen, I'm sorry your bird died Sat.. night. 

I'm glad you got some turkey dinner!