My Sanity Needed Vents

[widow'15]

15 hours ago, Gwenivere said:

Ive been watching Ally struggle more.  Gave them empty peanut butter jars today and she wanted to lay and lick it out but didn’t.  Had a difficult time coming up the steps from the front yard.  Seeing that future is like carrying a weight day in and out.  Pick up more pain pills today and haven’t heard about get her there to be checked for blood work after telling them repeatedly I couldn’t do it alone and being asked so many times if I had someone to help and saying NO.  

I could ask a buddy that lives over 20 miles away but that is ridiculous. 

Gwen:  Sad to see Ally is struggling more.  Being alone with aged and ill fur babies is such a downer.  I feel I need another set of eyes to watch Maddie's condition before I have to make that final decision I am dreading.  I should know by the end of the day if my daughter can make the trip from Oregon.  I can't do this on my own.  My son is working and I can't ask him to cancel the full weekend planned with the kids.   Keeping you and Ally in my thoughts.  Oh, to have our partners with us in these times.  Hugs, Dee

[Gwenivere]

Ugh, I get so frustrated with how I treat Ally.  It’s so hard to stay patient when I’m in horrendous pain.  It’s little things like coming inside up the stairs and she overthinks it.  I yell at her, also needed cause of her loss of hearing but this is anger,. I praise her when she comes up.  I guess it’s because other times she comes in by herself with no prompting.

another bad day started with the usual mind set.  Got a bill for the back surgery MRI my insurance wouldn’t pay.  2 grand.  So, 4 phone calls and 2 emails to docs to back up calls.  My PCP suggested calling the biller!  Duh!  Gee, what brilliance.  That was the first thing I did.  That’s how I found out I was monkey in the middle again and could do nothing as always.  I told everyone I talked to this is NOT my job.  I’m merely the patient.  I shouldn’t have to be doing this leg work.  The biller and my insurance agree, the doctors are playing hot potato with who should have done what.  

I got out of here for a bit realizing I didn’t really have much to do.  Killed time somehow til I could take a pain pill that I doubt will help today.  I’m too stressed and next week is 3 doc things.  The other 2 days are counseling via computer.  I so want to see my support people face to face but I doubt I could walk into one of them and the other has 2 flights of stairs.  Just feeling I am being pounded into ground daily.  Monday’s appointment is with the pain clinic.  How fitting.  Really have to decide on that 2+ hour vein scan.  It could just be from the stenosis.  I cut long whinings, I was annoying myself!

Have a plumber coming out tomorrow to fix Steve’s toilet.  Can’t help but wonder what will go wrong.  I’d say I’d be happy to be able to get out if bed, but each day just brings more challenges.  I’m tired of fighting.  tired of fear.  Tired of being alone. Tired of wondering how ally will do another day.  Tired of masks and distancing and rules.  Tired of not caring about anything.  Tired of missing Steve so much I can barely function.  Knowing if he were here we would lose it at times, but there’d be another voice and body and love.  That’s it!  I miss active love.  This memory crap is just that for me.  I look at myself now in survival mode and wonder what he would think.  It would be so different if he were here.  Would he be disappointed I’ve let everything but the essentials go.  So unlike me. It sounds like a stupid question, but would he still love this person I’ve become?  I know there were times I hated what the cancer changed in him.  How I wanted it to just end.   Well, I got my wish.  They say careful what you wish for.  Now I know why.

[kayc]

20 hours ago, widow'15 said:

Gwen:  Sad to see Ally is struggling more.  Being alone with aged and ill fur babies is such a downer.  I feel I need another set of eyes to watch Maddie's condition before I have to make that final decision I am dreading.  I should know by the end of the day if my daughter can make the trip from Oregon.  I can't do this on my own.  My son is working and I can't ask him to cancel the full weekend planned with the kids.   Keeping you and Ally in my thoughts.  Oh, to have our partners with us in these times.  Hugs, Dee

OMG, Dee, I'm so sorry, that is the hardest decision I've ever made...then had to turn around 4 1/2 months later and make the same decision for Kitty, but with her it was cut and dried, no choice "which day."  Her kidneys and liver had shut down, she might not have lasted the week anyway, so it was the kindest thing to do for her.  With Arlie I kept thinking, "If I hadn't put him to sleep, he could still be with me..." but of course I knew I'd made the right decision for him so he wouldn't suffer just for my benefit.  Damn it's hard!  My prayers are with you and I hope your daughter can make it up there...I could not have made it through Arlie's euthanasia and burial without my son's being here for me.  Several neighbors and people from the church offered their assistance but I wanted someone there that Arlie knew and loved.  Sending you hugs and wishes for peace and comfort in knowing "when" and "how."

Gwen, I know you're fearing that time approaching as well and my heart is heavy for you, just know that all of us here are praying for you and I hope it's a ways off yet, it'd be nice if it'd wait until your own health is manageable, I know we don't get to choose when it's right for us, but...

I also worry about going in to my dermatology appt next month...if my ins will pay because it is expensive and I can't afford out of pocket, so tired of the hoops they put us through, they don't make it easy.

Oh Gwen, your wishing his suffering to end did not affect the resulting outcome, the things we haunt ourselves with...but I know we all do it.  (((hugs)))

[Margm]

I know the amount of love y'all give to your fur babies.  This is my grand-fur-baby name of Nawlins (for New Orleans).  Kelli bought her when she was a tiny thing (still is tiny).  She sticks to Kelli like glue, probably getting hard of hearing and yelps when jumping off anything. (So do I).  She is now over 10 years old and this is her side of the bed.  Kelli keeps all checkups and meds up to date, but I have been with her through the loss of fur babies before (but Billy was always there to console her).  All I can do is hold her and cry along with her.  When my dad was dying of cancer, his Catahoula Cur was also dying of Cancer.  She was a rather big dog and of course Mama had to bury her.  I guess in her lifetime, Mama had to bury many fur babies since she would not let me keep them in the house.  

Kelli kept her groomed for a long time, then decided she could do it herself.  She has the dog cutters, I think there is a ceramic head on them and Nawlins has many sweaters that she has to wear after Kelli gets through with her close hair cuts.  

I had a case of what I will have to call food poisoning this week.  All foods were on my list.  I have never had chills like I had them and temp went up to over 102.  I had to get up to go to the bathroom and coming back, I guess I was definitely not right in the head, and I fell between my bed and my plastic boxes lining the wall, two large ones deep, many boxes.  Brianna heard me, came running in insisting that she help me up, but I am very stubborn.  I could do it myself, and I did.  She is peeved with me for not emptying the boxes, but when I open one all of Billy's memories pour out and my day is ruined.  Honestly, if I happened to die, and gosh knows, that is a big possibility, the boxes could all just be burned and nothing would be missing.  

Anyhow, still in the grip of the worse case of chills ever, I got into bed, pulling myself up with the bed and boxes as props.  My hand felt like it could possibly be injured, but still sick, I just wrapped a blanket around my arm and having taken two Tylenol and one Xanax, I fell back to sleep (actually had not been in real sleep), I had spent time throwing up (I use a lined waste basket to do that.  Woke up after noon, I was soaked from sweating off fever, felt weak but no  more chills, not sick at my stomach, so I took all bedding and washed it.  Managed to take trash out, the walk is not far, and it was sprinkling rain.  My sister and family insisting I go to doctor and I'm insisting not.  I know I am stubborn, but my chest is not bothering me, no cough, breathing normal, temperature normal, why do I want to  get my  "new normal" self around the virus?  My belly will not take any other kind of pills.  If I take antibiotics it will have to be by shots because the pills aggravate my colon.  At this stage, right now, I think I am doing okay.  No, I don't want blood work drawn.  My diet is heavy in carbs, cannot be helped, so I drink Ensure in the mornings.  I like "Egg Beaters" for protein, I take vitamin C and the D3 gummy bears.  I know I'm not a doctor, but I am not in a position they can treat me either.  I sure cannot take pain pills.  I  take a baby aspirin every other night and that, that small dose, makes for some problems.  I have Factor IX blood and insides that are already a disaster and I do not want to scare any more doctors.  (My doc said I scared him over six years ago).  I guess I will have to be comatose before I bend to the will of my family. (It happened once), and I sure don't want it to happen again.  Honestly, at my age, if I have some deadly illness, like Billy did, like I have had before, as close to the border line as I am now, I don't want some doctor to shove me over it.  They had the  chance to find out Billy was sick if they had read his lab work, but the path he was on would not have changed, it would just have been a longer nightmare for him.  I know being diagnosed with cancer in my late 30's, I would wake up and hope it was a nightmare, it wasn't.  Neither was Billy's.  Even if he could "see the worry" in my eyes.  Heck, all I have to do is open that door and I cry.  I hate opening those boxes.  In one I found a note he had written "Love you, be back by noon" and it is written in a red Sharpie.  I have it taped to his urn.  

And my "word salad" this week is spent talking to myself.  I'm sorry.  So many of you are in physical pain, and I'm actually not in anymore pain than I am used to.  I can handle it.  

My son's blood work came back as TB positive and he cannot go back to work until he sees the health unit, which is hard to do in these crazy health insane days..  He was treated years ago for hep-C.  This was cured, but one of the drugs shows this in blood work.  So, he is worried about his job waiting for the health unit to see him.  My daughter has many health problems and my granddaughter has many also.  Her bio-mom's drug use during pregnancy did not leave that beautiful child without scars that are not visible.  Just ordered and received a memory foam mattress with  two inches of gel, 12 inches total, and her mom and my son are going to fix that up and move the other one out.  It is still new, the other one, but is too hard.  She was followed by Shriner's until she aged out.  

I am going to read up on my friends now.  There are so many we do not hear from anymore and I wish them well.  Maybe, like those boxes are to me, maybe their grief is not helped by memory.  I don't know what helps people, if I discover it, I will certainly let y'all know.  

[kayc]

Oh Marg, that dog is adorable!  Reminds me a bit of Jackson, the dog I tried to adopt but he had erect ears.  What a sweetie!

I am so sorry you've been sick!  I think we've all been there and it's horrid when you have to suddenly make a choice about which end to put on the toilet!  I got food poisoning from some shrimp I bought 45 years ago and another time about 25 years ago my daughter and I got it eating at the Dairy Queen...it was her birthday and it ruined it and all of our plans.    I hope you're mending quickly!

I hope your son's job holds it for him, sometimes stuff does show up in tests that's long ago treated and gone.  I hope he can get the clearance soon!

[Gwenivere]

1 hour ago, Marg M said:

I am going to read up on my friends now.  There are so many we do not hear from anymore and I wish them well.  Maybe, like those boxes are to me, maybe their grief is not helped by memory.  I don't know what helps people, if I discover it, I will certainly let y'all know.  

I’m like you.  Those memories don’t give me solace or the warm fuzzies.  It’s the isolation I feel now and that there is no alive love in this house.  Because that is what it is now.  It ceased being a true home when he left.  It looks the same, all things that always were, but signs of active living are gone.  Here are his messes?  His projects?  His guitars and naggingly ringing, dinging and beeping cell phone which has lain silent for years?  Where’s his bellowing laughter or cussing at a problem?   The shelves above his desk are filled with his stuff I have gone blind to.  Years of dust on them as I don’t waste my housekeepers time on them.  I use a corner of one shelf for receipts til the VISA bill comes in to rectify.  His desk has a shut down computer as I don’t have the password.  Just a guest account as he knew I hated passwords, but he was so into security and couldn’t give it to me inthise last days.  He tried but was so confused.  Drat, even writing all this is depressing.  The biggest progress I’ve made is being able to look at our pictures now around the house.  See that gorgeous face and smile.  

If it’s not too personal, why do you keep the ashes?  A closeness?  Warmth?  Connection?  I spread his a couple weeks back when the subject came up in a topic and I realized they were in a chest for 5 years.  Now they see under a plum tree we planted.  No one in my family kept ashes.  My mom and dad’s are in New Mexico.  Had some of them sent here for under the tree.  My moms I put in a lake I would have loved her to see.

[KarenK]

Marg, the little dog is precious. I'm so sorry you are ill and have fallen to top it off. When I tripped over the dog in the hallway, it took forever for the bruises and soreness to go away. I felt more stupid than anything.

Many years ago, I had Valley Fever. After it was gone, the skin test was always positive. That is common. I wonder if TB is the same way.

I started Season 1 of Longmire. It is a good show, but disappointing that it is filmed in New Mexico instead of Wyoming. Lou Diamond Phillips is forever young. He is 58 and looks about 30.

[Margm]

20 hours ago, Gwenivere said:

If it’s not too personal, why do you keep the ashes?

No, It is not personal at all.  You all know I am short a few electrons in my head, but it all seems sensible to me (and , not being smarty), but not worried.  I bought a beautiful urn, wooden, it has a tree engraved and a pretty verse.  It is too pretty to empty, and besides, that (to me) is all that matters.  My kids have instructions that when I go, just a plain cardboard box.  Then, in that box, they will mix his ashes with mine in the family plot.  I have not bought a stone yet.  We are right behind Mama and Daddy, will be right next to my uncle and aunt's plot, right behind them my paternal grandmother and grandfather.  If they can, they will pour all his fly tying equipment and very many flies already made.  Might not let them do that.  If not, they will have to decide what to do.  I have a two foot tall white Christmas tree that has only been turned off to move.  I think the fiber optic lights last 20,000 hours (supposedly).  I have his "toys"  on his table he kept all his things on.  His telephone.  Behind this is a beautiful glass and wood cabinet with his "calls" on each shelf.  Some might be valuable they are so old, but it is a red velvet background.  Up above are his "gone fishing" sign and his turkey hunting sign that Kelli bought him with shotgun shells as hat holders. (Am I southern?)  All his hats are hung there and I found a big sign at a yard sale (I really don't remember) that says "A TRUE LOVE STORY NEVER ENDS"   So, I guess I have a corner of the room as a sort of Billy corner.  I am trying to think of the proper name, but it is not coming.  That will do.  I  just feel closer to him this way.  I might be crazy, but I'm used  to it.  I had no plans really, but when we  put my mom's ashes next to my dad's, (she wanted cremation), he is buried; my uncle brought me the deed to the plot next to his and his wife's.  I just couldn't refuse, it is a huge cemetery with mostly my family name and kin buried there.  The cemetery woman was there and it was all made official.  

Darn, again, I could have written three lines, but I have to use my whole box of colors.  Sorry.  

Karen, we just enjoyed the whole show.  Lots of twists and turns.  I should read his books, but I liked the way the series ended and don't want to muddy the water.  So many books, so little time.  Anyhow, stay with it, I think you'll like it.  

On edit, I did think of the word I couldn't recall.  The word is "shrine".  Not sure I like "shrine", so will keep it Billy's Corner.  

[Gwenivere]

Marg, I know you are feeling better when you drag out the full box of crayons.  It’s good to see.  🌷

[Margm]

[kayc]

Yes, Marg, I like all your crayons too...it is you, and you are a good storyteller....I think you missed your calling as a writer!

[Kieron]

I agree with Gwen and Kay, and haven't I observed more than once that some of your wordings are "keepers"?  😄

[Margm]

I do wish sometimes I could keep my words to a minimum.  I do not talk that much.  I just have "run-on" fingers.  

[Gwenivere]

Have the same 'disease' Marg.  Used to be I talked all the time.  My emails and other written stuff was more brief.  That has shifted 180 degrees.  A huge part of that is no one to talk to just day to day.  Have to catch people between their comings and goings or it’s by phone and usually a time difference me being in the earliest.  Plus, I know my state of mind is very self focused at the times I try and listen to others that also have problems and need to vent too.  I want to be more supportive and I feel it eludes me so I feel bad.  Not giving my all.  Sharing struggles is normal, but I’m so messed up in my head that often the slightest suggestion makes me want to scream.  I’ve told everyone if I want them, I’ll ask.  

So I come here.  People are not captive to this as they would a phone call or in the old days meeting face to face.  

I’m having a horribly anxiety driven day.  It’s a heavy rain day which is dark and cold.  Just had a week with overly taxing medical crap.  Nowhere to go to escape anything.  Always on edge about my elder dog.  Intensified pain.  Knowing how the world is so changed with the pandemic.  So lonely without Steve.  Restless and afraid.  I so hate this panic disorder.  It removes spontaneity that I had up until the pain took over which brought in the never ending doctor talks and tests.  This coming week the only human I will see for real here is the plumber.  A doc appointment if they get scan info or it’s a useless trip.  Everything else is via Zoom.  I can’t sit at my desk as I have no audio and don’t know if my old monitor has a microphone and camera.  So it’s awkward on this tablet.  So that creates a possible need for a new computer and all that entails that Steve would have normally done with glee.  I am grateful I have the tablet.  I also have to find out from Direct TV about upgrading so I have internet access for streaming.  They are going to replace my DVR  anyway by year’s end,  the only dare I call it good about the pandemic is I won’t loose all my fav TV shows as there won’t be any to record with everything on hold. This is another thing Steve would have delved into and figured out timing.  Most importantly, dealt with logistics and dealing with getting parts and meet the geeks to do it.  Done all the tests to make sure everything worked.  

I miss just figuring out what to make for dinner and tapping my foot til he gets things working.  That was my job.  But I knew it would be done right.  Now I’m at the mercy of Best Buy.  My BIL couldn’t even get into my computer as he’s done to look around for exactly what I need.  

Off to stuff I can handle.  A drive, a shower (I hope), maybe a call to Direct TV to see the complications of connecting to the net.  Scratch that one, just more confusion.  Sometimes technology getting better trickles down to major pains for simple stuff. I need Steve,

[Margm]

I love my flip phone.  All I do is call and answer.  My fingers shake too much for the keyboard on my 10 inch Kindle.  You will see double "periods" sometimes because my fingers shake so that it will hit the same "character" twice or more.  I can handle what I have, so far, but it gets worse each year and I wonder how it will equal out in the end.  Now that is dark.  

Sometimes I get to talking to my sister, or kids, and I have to rein myself in, afraid I will repeat the same thing often.  I think I might do that and I will say "did I just say that."  

The "run-on" fingers have always been there.  Even when I could write, it would be pages.  One of my last supervisors, I used to ask her a question that took probably half a page and she would write me back two lines.  Answered my question.  Made me wonder why I had to elaborate over and over.  I don't care now.  I let it all hang out.  If it gets boring, skip  it.  The joy was in the writing.  We already had three writers in the family.  I am just a frustrated one that instead of "flower" would put "flour" and now I don't have the imagination I used to have, that went along with Billy.  He was hard of hearing, but I think part of that was on purpose to protect himself.  

I enjoy it when it is raining and cold, if I have to stay in.  Do you realize we had a flu pandemic 1957-1958, we had Hong-Kong flu 1968-1969.  We had Swine flu January 2009 to August 10, 2010.  Where was the quarantine?  Look up Maurice Hilleman, see all the things he did for so many diseases and I've never heard of him, but I have Jonas Salk.

I hope things clear up for you soon and we can get out from under this quarantine, I think even painfully walking, if you could breathe in a little outside air would make a tiny bit of difference.  My sister's lungs do so  much worse when it rains.  Stay warm my friend and hope your fur baby improves and takes one worry off.  I usually get my most nervous when it is time to go to bed.  

[KarenK]

It is a mess here today. As is happening in other large cities, "peaceful" demonstrations along with looting and property destruction is occurring in downtown Phoenix. How stupid people act sometimes. I lived near Watts in CA during the 60's and watched from our roof as people burned their own community. How dumb is that? What did it accomplish?

In addition, there is a large brush fire burning about 20 miles north of me in an area called Cave Creek. The entire area is being evacuated as homes burn. It is doubly sad as it's an area full of huge homes, ranches, thoroughbred horses, etc. I can just imagine trying to evacuate it. I sure hope everyone and the animals get out safely. The Emergency Alert system really flubbed on this one. For the first couple of hours, all they broadcast was an immediate evacuation for all of Maricopa County, nothing more, no explanation. Then finally they added the rest of the info about the fire. Drove police crazy in all cities for those 2 hours wondering what was going on.

Another exciting night of TV for me!

[Gin]

Karen,

Lots of riots, looting, etc. here in Chicago, also.  What a waste!  Gin

[Gin]

karen,
Just heard the mayor put the city on lockdown from 9 pm thru 6 am indefinitely.  

[Gwenivere]

Seattle is in chaos now.  Started hours ago as peaceful protests about the death of a black citizen.  Now things have gone off the rails and the city us being looted and police cars set afire. Some stealing rifles from cop cars, one is still missing.  SWAT and the National Guard have been called in and people ordered to vacate downtown.  I can’t believe what I’m watching of citizens wantonly stealing from stores even while being filmed.  The peaceful protesters have left.  I don’t know who these people are that are acting like animals and a blight on our city.  These people have no interest in the intent of the protest.  It’s beyond my ability to understand rioting and stealing.  Our police force has kept their cool as they push people back.  Lots if tear gas and the freeways and ferry’s have been shut down.  Police cars have been defaced with spray paint and beaten with bricks and bats.  Our police nor other cities killed the Michigan man.  None of this makes sense to me.  I can’t imagine coming home with stolen goods, smelling of gas and have any respect for myself.  These animals are wearing covid masks, not that it would do any good to see their faces.  They’re doing this while the police are busy trying to get innocents out and enforce the curfew set 3 hours ago.  

[Gwenivere]

Going to bed has become something I love and dread, Marg.  I love being in that nothingness but hate when it ends.  If there were some mystery about waking up, like maybe it wouldn’t be as horrendous as itvaways is, at least I could expect a change now and then.  But its always the same.  I seem to wake up half an hour before the alarm so I get to think about how it’s going to suck robbigbme of more nothingness.  Friday night I overdid some chores so yesterday was a tough one.  Seems I don’t dream anymore.  I used to like feeling free and that other life.  But then it’s the reality shock getting up and 2/3rds ofthe day in this...truth of all the changes.

[Margm]

Don't have to worry about watching sports, turn news on and you see police vs people vs police.  I saw them robbing a Target the other night, had shopping carts full of big item things, shelves were as empty as if it was toilet paper.  They didn't care if they wore masks, were being filmed, or anything.  It does not seem to be slowing down..  I cannot say how many things going wrong.  I cannot see how it can be made right.  I still remember the Watts riots and I was a country girl nearly 2000 miles away.  The worse we had in our little town was the elephant dying at the circus.  

[KarenK]

Silly me! I guess I thought this "mob mentality" would be confined to the downtown area of Phoenix. It is midnight here and groups of people are breaking into stores like Neiman Marcus in the high end mall about 4 miles from my house. I doubt these people are honoring any cause but their own. They do not want to mess with the cops in Scottsdale, trust me! As if this virus wasn't enough already........

[Gwenivere]

I don’t know what today will bring, but I don’t get what the heck was going on yesterday.  People just decided turning into looters and thieves was acceptable?  This wasn’t isolated.  It’s like people decided it’s a good day to turn into destructive mobs.  

[kayc]

15 hours ago, Gwenivere said:

It’s a heavy rain day which is dark and cold.

Yep, here too, stormy, dark, cold, windy, rainy, loud thunder that sounded like it was right here in my yard!  I had to build a fire.

13 hours ago, KarenK said:

I lived near Watts in CA during the 60's and watched from our roof as people burned their own community.

They just had rioting in Eugene over the MN policeman...destroyed businesses!  I don't get that.  My roots are in Eugene, my family were pioneers there, my great grandfather founded Veneta (next to it) and had 100 acres in Santa Clara (suburb of Eugene)...they would roll over in their graves if they saw what has become of it!  Never in my life did I think there'd be a riot like this in Eugene, it's known for its diversity and PEACEFUL protests!  Like of the Vietnam war back in the 60s.  Not thugs burning buildings and ruining people's livelihoods!  I'm glad I no longer live there and yet that makes a part of me sad to hear me say that.

12 hours ago, Gin said:

karen,
Just heard the mayor put the city on lockdown from 9 pm thru 6 am indefinitely.  

Eugene had its first curfew too, starting at 8 pm.  They're going to go over video footage and see if they can figure out the people in there for arrests.  With computer recognition they probably can.  Makes me wonder what people will do that work later than 8 as NO ONE will be allowed traveling on the road.

 

11 hours ago, Gwenivere said:

Our police nor other cities killed the Michigan man.

Yeah, that's what I don't get either, we haven't had the racial profiling in Eugene that they do in some parts of the country so why are they attacking our police?  There is no correlation, they're hurting innocent people!

10 hours ago, Marg M said:

The worse we had in our little town was the elephant dying at the circus.  

Marg, I love this innocence.  It's how it should be...not for the elephant, but you know what I mean.  I'm glad I live in a sleepy little town where they roll up the mats at 9:00.  8:00 in winter.  But now even this sleepy little town has petty drug addicts stealing from garages, cars, anything they can sell for their next hit...and the police do NOTHING!  Glad I live out of the city limits.  Don't have to be involved in Oakridge Politics.  Ugh.

I guess I should have watched National news instead of the local station, I didn't realize how widespread all of this was!  I think it's outside forces/agendas coming in and taking over peaceful protests.  I did watch a broadcast that said when they cross state lines for this, they will be open to federal charges and they WILL prosecute.  More people for us to support in the prison system.  

[Gwenivere]

The people involved in the riots weren’t there because of what happened in Michigan, IMO.   They were there because of frustration (be it the pandemic, other racial events, prior police actions, anger that had no place in planned opposition).  They may defeat the purpose of what could bring racism to the forefront it deserves and ruin it.  They deserve to be arrested and punished, but where could they put them all?  I doubt law enforcement will be able to do much as everyone was wearing masks.  About the only thing that can be done is public shaming of the citizens that turned a statement for change into selfish acts deserving of punishment also.

Not only that, they now have added to more covid infections possibilities that will set back phases of reopening much less irreparably harmed the smalll businesses that were iffy to survive.  Absolute shame on these people. And for marking all police offices by the acts a few.  I support Seattle PD.  Seen them do some amazing things beyond call of duty.  They go out every day to possible harm or death.  Not all are perfect, but show me a group that is.  I will not vilify our police for one in Michigan.  And what about the othe cops that were there?  Why haven’t we heard more about them?