widow'15 Posted June 10, 2020 Report Share Posted June 10, 2020 11 minutes ago, mittam99 said: Stopping by on a difficult day. My beloved Tammy would have been 51 today. And it's been 5 agonizing years and 3 months since the day that change my world forever. Mitch: When I saw your sweet Tammy's face pop up on the forum, I thought for a moment you were going to have some happy news since I haven't seen you for awhile. So sorry today is one of those reminders of what should have been a happy day, but now reminds us what we lost. My heart goes out to you today. Hugs, Dee. 4 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gin Posted June 10, 2020 Report Share Posted June 10, 2020 Mitch, know exactly how you feel. No joy anymore. Sorry you are feeling so lousy. Sometimes I see no point of getting out of bed. Now with this virus, there is no more health club or church activities. Thinking about you. Gin 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
scba Posted June 11, 2020 Report Share Posted June 11, 2020 2 hours ago, mittam99 said: I just wish I could press rewind and go back to the days of joy and love. The days when Tammy was by my side. The days when I had purpose and life didn't feel so sad and meaningless. Mitch Me too Mitch 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gwenivere Posted June 11, 2020 Author Report Share Posted June 11, 2020 It’s good to hear from you, Mitch. I’m so sorry about Tammys birthday. It never seems to get easier. Your wish is like all of ours. I know what you mean about the public and coming home to this emptiness and not caring about food, tasks etc. I dont know how many times I do it, it just hangs over me. It’s pain pretty much 24/7. The virus makes things worse in so many ways. Intensifies the loneliness as we have to follow rules in moments of connection with other humans. For Tammy and you......hugs and 🌹🌹🌹🌹🌹 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted June 11, 2020 Report Share Posted June 11, 2020 It's so nice to see you here again, dear Mitch, and we send thoughts of comfort and hope as you remember your beloved Tammy on her special day . . . ❤️ 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted June 11, 2020 Report Share Posted June 11, 2020 Mitch, I was thinking about you and Tammy yesterday, weird, I was wondering when her birthday was and here it was, that day. My George would be 66 in three days...hard for me to conceive of as he was so young when he died. He is forever immortal in my mind. It is me that is aging, I know he would love and cherish me all the same. I've never felt healthier, my weight at goal, but I don't look it close up and personal, this weight looked much better on me 21 1/2 years ago when I met George. Now there's wrinkles and grey hair where my youth once existed. But at least I'm healthy and fit for my age. Kodie doesn't let me watch t.v. except right before he goes to bed we watch Wheel of Fortune, that's his cue that bedtime is coming and he settles down and watches it with me. He'd prefer a dog show but that costs extra. I lost animal planet when Dish doubled my price. I think about you with this pandemic and pray you make it through this safely. I want to say on behalf of all of us that we appreciate the grocery store employees that truly keep us all going. We'd be in a world of hurt without the lot of you on the front lines ensuring we are able to survive. Thank you for weathering the risks and going to work day after day. 1 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iPraiseHim Posted June 11, 2020 Report Share Posted June 11, 2020 20 hours ago, mittam99 said: Stopping by on a difficult day. My beloved Tammy would have been 51 today. And it's been 5 agonizing years and 3 months since the day that change my world forever. I have no idea what happiness feels like anymore. Happiness was being with Tammy, plain and simple. Alone, everything feels a bit like drudgery. TV is now my main companion. I don't eat as well as I should or exercise. It's not that I don't care or that I've given up; there's just no joy in anything. Plus the aches and pains sort of limit what I can do. My brain thinks I'm 21, but my body feels much more ancient. I work in an essential job and deal with the public up close and personal. It's borderline scary being 65 years old and dealing with the pandemic and all the frightening possibilities. Then I come home and it's me, myself and I (and the TV lol). Rinse, wash, repeat. The constant feeling of stress overwhelms. I just wish I could press rewind and go back to the days of joy and love. The days when Tammy was by my side. The days when I had purpose and life didn't feel so sad and meaningless. Mitch I just turned 65 last month and all that it entails. Dealing with Medicare decisions the last six months forced me to face my biological age. It has been over five years since, my beloved wife, Rose Anne, died, and I still miss her everyday. I'm weeping just writing this. I am also have an essential job and fortunate to still be able to work. Having a sudden heart attack six months ago rocked my world as well. I'm thankful I am still alive and there was no damage to my heart. I am trying to make the best of this situation in life and help others that suffer from diabetes. There is a hope and a future that the medical doctors never gave my wife. I cannot change the past. I can only hope to share to all who will listen that there is a hope and a future. Loneliness is the toughest part of this side of grief. I pray and think about you often. There were several of us thrust into this grief world involuntarily. Fortunately, Marty T provides a safe haven and great tools of recovery and dealing with this on a daily basis. Take care my friend. - Shalom (Peace) 6 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Margm Posted June 11, 2020 Report Share Posted June 11, 2020 35 minutes ago, iPraiseHim said: Dealing with Medicare George, you have all come to know my peculiarities, and either put up with them and think "what a flake" or ignore them completely. Billy was two years older than I was. Working for state government for 38 years, he paid into retirement, but not SS. Rather than face calling SS and waiting on the phone, I waited two years until I got to 65. After all, I saved the government two years of having to cover Billy with Medicare, he had not paid into. I never called them till I got 65, I went to the Hot Springs SS office and I had to get a lot straight. I had worked for state government for 27 years, but I quit for about six weeks and went to a new hospital. Not state operated. I soon learned what a mistake I had made and by this time they were taking SS out of new hires. Anyhow, I was proud I had saved the government all that money. We have always had excellent group insurance and I never dropped it even getting on Medicare. It was all explained to me then. All that "money I had saved the government" was now added on to Billy's Medicare, which came out of my SS. I was fined $20 a month added to Billy's. I fill out my census, I fill out my IRS each year. I try to stay out of the way of government labels. Medicare is taken out of my SS each month and my secondary insurance (which I never dropped) is taken out of our retirement checks. I think it is said somewhere in the Bible about God protecting fools and children (maybe in Proverbs), I'm not a child. Good luck with your Medicare. I didn't want it, I thought the government was giving me a welfare of some sort. My cousin, who has a PhD loves Medicare. She has two sons that are doctors. I figure she understands better than I do. Anyhow, I'm not going to think about it anymore (I hope) for awhile. Sometimes our bodies fail and we are given a second and third chance and we wish our mates could have been given more chances. We trod on. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gwenivere Posted June 11, 2020 Author Report Share Posted June 11, 2020 Sounds complicated, Marg. All I know is Medicare is for anyone at 65 unless I’m missing something. Everyone I know on it likes it and the trick is to get what they don’t cover covered by supplements. I don’t look at it as a handout. Paid lots ot taxes over the decades. Time to start getting some of that back. My situation is simpler tho. Hoping I don’t have to physically go in. Steve didn’t make it to 65 so I don’t know the process but heard it could be done by phone since I already have insurance. Steve worked hard for the benefits he didn’t get. This way it stays in the family. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KarenK Posted June 12, 2020 Report Share Posted June 12, 2020 What I don't like about Medicare is that it controls your doctor's actions. Also that you still have to pay premiums when you are on SS and finally able to use it. You have paid into it your entire working life(in my case, 40 years) and are still paying. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gwenivere Posted June 12, 2020 Author Report Share Posted June 12, 2020 How do they control doctors actions? Are they more restrictive on what your doctor may want to order if tests are needed? That would be quite distressing to both doctor and patient. My secondary insurance will only pay on what Medicare doesn’t, when the time comes. I wonder if we have to have Medicare. I’m really quite happy with my private insurance. I have a feeling they won’t let me keep them, tho, when I hit 65 as primary or only coverage. I sometimes think at the rate my body is falling apart, I may not make it to November so it would be a moot point. 🤪 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Margm Posted June 12, 2020 Report Share Posted June 12, 2020 Gwen, I didn't want Medicare. I'm not sure we have a choice, but I bend when the wind blows, so you cannot count on what I think I know. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KarenK Posted June 12, 2020 Report Share Posted June 12, 2020 I'm not sure what happens to your private insurance if you opt out of Medicare or if it's even possible to. It's beneficial to me to have both. Generally, Medicare pays 80% and my supplement pays the rest, including the Medicare deductble. I chose the higher premium supplemental to avoid all co-pays or in case I end up ill with something long term. As for the control issues, last year my doctor asked me to come for a physical even though he admitted I didn't really need one. He said his Medicare funding is dependent on doing these physicals. I know the government is big on limiting opiods. I used to be able to get a 90 day supply of Tramadol. Now I can only get a 30 day supply. It is stupid. I am still getting the same amount. I just have to go the pharmacy more often. I'm definitely against government control. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gwenivere Posted June 12, 2020 Author Report Share Posted June 12, 2020 This opiate restriction does get ridiculous. It’s almost impossible to go 'shopping' for them as all the pharmacies are linked on controlled substances. They don’t take into account elderly or disabled people having to make several trips. Also, it’s punishin people that take their meds as prescribed because of people that have abused them. I have a 3 month pharmacy thru insurance but I’ve never tried my Vicodin as my doc will only write a month at a time if he is feeling generous. Sometimes makes me wonder just how much pain you have to be in to get meds made for it. They exist but getting them is like pulling teeth at times. So, what do they exist for? Sheesh. I remember about a decade ago I was given them at walk in clinics without even asking because it was obvious I was in pain. I really feel for people with incurable painful conditions and undermedicated because of fear of addiction. I’m 'addicted' to Xanax for my panic disorder. I’d rather that than being addicted to my house. I prefer to call it dependent on a medication that gives me my mental freedom. It’s another one I had to find a doc who would prescribe it. Now they want you to take antidepressants that rarely cut it because they are supposedly non addicting. That is such bull. You miss a couple days and you’ll go bonkers. Sorry, kinda strayed off the opiate discussion. Rack it up to another boring, long lonely night. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Kieron Posted June 12, 2020 Report Share Posted June 12, 2020 Although I am quite a way away from being eligible for Medicare, I know from dealing with it at work that 1-800-MEDICARE by phone or online www.medicare.gov are very helpful in understanding how it works. Also, if you wish, you can go here https://www.medicare.gov/forms-help-resources and select your state and be presented with a list of trained, qualified advisors who will answer questions in plain English. It's their job to guide confused people through the maze. Don't be afraid to "bother them" or ask silly questions. They have heard it all and they know it's confusing. With time and experience, they know how to cut through the legalese and lay it out in understandable ways. However, as Kevin said, it's really a frustrating thing to pay into the system all your working life and when you need it, you STILL have to pay. Don't get me started on the "donut hole" in Medicare! Often, private insurance will cover some things and Medicare covers the rest, or one takes priority over the other. Sometimes people can get Medicaid AND Medicare, depending on their condition(s), and whatever Medicare doesn't cover, Medicaid does cover. Medicaid is known in some states as Medical Assistance, but it's for really poor people with few or no assets. Generally the fewer assets you have, the more help you get. But as soon as you start making your way forward, they yank the assistance away so that you end up back on the dole. It's insidious and many people give up and just stay there. ☹️ 3 hours ago, Gwenivere said: They don’t take into account elderly or disabled people having to make several trips. They'll take it into account once they're elderly or become disabled. But by then it's too late. However I can see it because I'm right there with the person. Don't know how many times I've wanted to smack some smug-faced agency rep or clerk or pharmacist or whatever and say, "You have no idea how many hoops this person had to jump through just to get here! Not everyone can just hop in a car and come on down to this place in the middle of nowhere, no bus line, no mass transit! Not every person has high speed internet or is tech-savvy enough to wade through all your phone maze options, in rapid fire speech that they can't hear or can't process as quickly as you or I can!" 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted June 12, 2020 Report Share Posted June 12, 2020 Kieron, thanks for providing the phone number to Medicare, I encourage Gwen to call and ask questions before making decisions about Medicare. I have Healthnet, a Medicare Advantage program, which is an HMO, I do not have supplemental. It covers Rxs. They try to get in the doctor's business with their health assessments, going over your Rxs, etc. I told them not to call me about that anymore, I find it very disturbing that insurance tries to get in the doctor's business and told them so. SHE has a medical degree, they do not (I asked). They called again yesterday, again I read them the riot act. Overreactive? Maybe, but it struck a raw nerve/pet peeve in me. The doctor I worked for predicted this would happen someday, it's here. However, Medicare is worth it in my estimation, they write off a lot of what we'd have to pay if we did not have their help. I'm on my fourth year with it. The first year was a learning curve. Still feeling my way around some things, but getting better at it. The problem comes in when their employees all tell you something different. Phone call after phone call trying to get to the bottom of things! Or when their website doesn't work right. Nothing is smooth nowadays and customer service seems to be a relic of the past. We all provided it during our working years and yet when it's our turn to be on the receiving end, it's gone. It's voicemail and being put on hold and no one giving a rip. Let alone getting answers/solutions! But I guess it's what makes us young...or old, depending on the outcome. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Margm Posted June 12, 2020 Report Share Posted June 12, 2020 If I drop my group insurance as a secondary insurance I cannot get back on. In all my visits to my doc in Arkansas, I have never had a bill. I have a more expensive secondary plan, but it did not seem expensive at all to me. I can go to local doctors and it will cost me nothing out of pocket. I don't have to have a referral, but I have asked for one before. It is not necessary though. Procedures would cost, but procedures cannot fix me. I cannot take any medicine other than what my belly is handling now. Antibiotics (except shots) could kill me. I give them my Medicare and Blue Cross card and I received one bill in the past two years, one was about $60 for rehab, which I didn't go long. I cannot complain about my insurance, but the group insurance is just a continuation of the insurance, only a retirement insurance to go along as secondary. I would be insane to give it up. I've reached some levels of insanity, but will not mess with insurance. Three months of four different medications only cost less than $20 for all three months, all four meds. As I get older, it scares me they might add something else. Not price-wise, but body harm-wise. I've told them I want no special tests. If something is found they would have to treat it. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted June 13, 2020 Report Share Posted June 13, 2020 I got the news last night that I have Melanoma again, surgery for 7/6. Not a good experience with the medical assistant, she has an attitude, really nasty. Why do I always get those?! This will be performed by the PA, not a doctor, difference between getting to use Peacehealth and not. Can't wait to get Peacehealth back next year if I have to change insurance to do it! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
widow'15 Posted June 13, 2020 Report Share Posted June 13, 2020 2 hours ago, kayc said: I got the news last night that I have Melanoma again, surgery for 7/6. kayc: So sorry to see you will have surgery really soon. Keeping good thoughts for you. Dee 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted June 13, 2020 Report Share Posted June 13, 2020 Thank you, my biggest concern is if I'll be able to walk Kodie and keep him from scratching at my wound.. I may have to block off my couch so he can't get onto it, I hate doing that as he won't understand, but I'll need to be protective. Last time I went through it was with Arlie and he was an angel but it takes much time to get them to that point! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted June 13, 2020 Report Share Posted June 13, 2020 Gwen, I saw what is going on in Seattle, I'm stunned they've let it get to this point and hope they get some assistance restoring order to it. I hope you're able to avoid that part of the city! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gin Posted June 13, 2020 Report Share Posted June 13, 2020 Kay, thoughts and prayers for you for your surgery. Gin 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted June 13, 2020 Report Share Posted June 13, 2020 Thank you, Gin! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Margm Posted June 13, 2020 Report Share Posted June 13, 2020 5 hours ago, kayc said: I got the news last night that I have Melanoma again, surgery for 7/6. Not to make light of it Kay, but you said "again." They took care of the other (others), and though the name itself scares the dickens out of you, perhaps your vigilance made it not as threatening as the name implies. You are a very intelligent woman living so far away from medical care and recognizing symptoms/changes. So often people are not as alert as you are.. I have to commend you on this. Scott's TB test took him off work for about two weeks now. Federal and state run medical facilities (parish health unit) operating at less than half its staff, this made his wait extremely long , and then the parish health unit's x-ray equipment did not work, had to go back to the hospital he works for (federal), and all it showed was he possibly had come in contact with someone who had TB in the past. With our economy at a crawl (snail's pace), it is hard on so many people. Money will not buy you health, but it will move your place in line up before someone without money. Health crisis, medical crisis, economy crisis. I wish for you a place at the start of the line. You deserve it. Please keep us informed how it goes. Will they cut them for margins or will they just freeze them/it? 3 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted June 13, 2020 Report Share Posted June 13, 2020 I go to the dermatologist every three months but since the pandemic, they canceled my appt several times and kept pushing me back. They do think it's early enough they can get it all so that's a relief, my only real concern is trying to heal with Kodie around, hopefully I'll still be able to walk him and Joe, they won't understand if not. They cut deep and long for melanoma, no freezing! I have about 2 1/2" scar from my last one and this one is bigger. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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