My Sanity Needed Vents

[kayc]

16 hours ago, widow'15 said:

Many inspectors have been furloughed due to pandemic.

Along with orthopedic surgeons and courts (my daughter's divorce has been in limbo ALL YEAR!  As is my getting to see the orthopedic doctors about my hands.  It's maddening that the entire country came to a standstill, all blamed on the pandemic.  I don't get it, honestly.

I think you're right, but neither being patient or getting onto them seems to prod anything along.  I hope something happens soon!

15 hours ago, Gwenivere said:

my shrink will not do fax, email or talk to insurance companies.

Wow!  It's like he/she's in the dark ages!  What hoops we have to go through for our care...

15 hours ago, Gwenivere said:

i am so glad there are dogs in the world.  I cannot imagine life without their outlook to rein me in sometimes.  

Me too, Gwen.  It absolutely breaks our hearts when they suffer or die, but I can't imagine life without them in it.  We may go back to phase one tomorrow, will know more tomorrow night.  I hope not, but people keep having parties, etc...

15 hours ago, Gwenivere said:

I don’t know much about diabetes but I know it’s different for everyone  I hope you can find  balance.  I deal with thyroid and that has me tearing my hair out.

My BS was normal but has risen since my BIL died, I just keep doing all I know to do & hope it comes down eventually.  At least it's a tolerable range even if not as low as I'd like it.  I'm thankful for George's (iPraiseHim) guidance every step of the way, he's very knowledgeable about this whole process.  He tells me to trust the process, so I keep on...

15 hours ago, Marg M said:

My son takes the trazodone.  I was familiar with it from years ago.  It also works as an antidepressant.

50 mg is for sleep, 100+ is for antidepressant.  The original doctor I had prescribed it for me in 2008 but I only used it on occasion, now I take one every night and don't imagine changing that as I need some sleep to function!

5 hours ago, Gwenivere said:

I took my new diuretic Sunday

I'm glad you discontinued use with those side effects!!!  I've been on Triamterene HCTZ 37.5 25 mg for years and haven't noticed any side effects, I take one in the morning.  Was prescribed it right after George died as I got terrible edema from the stress, to the point of being dangerous for my heart.

Had to work all day Saturday, will have to again today.  I'd be happy if I never had to do payroll tax reporting again!

 

 

[Margm]

They didn't prescribe it for me for anything but a blood pressure med.  I doubt they read the other things.  If it helps me be able to read and concentrate then that is an addition.  My little country clinic prescribed it some time or other after the year 2000, and I take one every night since.  A plus is that it makes me sleepy.  I get scared if I read too much about a drug.  One side effect of penicillin could be a "black hairy tongue."  I was already allergic to penicillin, so that never worried me.  I typed medicines, symptoms, operations, consults, discharge summaries, history and physicals, even an autopsy or two thrown in at every hospital in Shreveport/Bossier (working part-time) from my main job at the teaching hospital and I finished up my career typing about 6-7 years at home in Arkansas for my friend who had her own transcription service, it was for Presbyterian in Albuquerque and the little satellite clinics of the big hospital.  In all that time I only typed one "black hairy tongue" and it was not from penicillin.  

Do you listen to all the new medication "possible" side effects?  I had one of those new medicines, I took one pill.  The reaction I had, dumb me, I took Tylenol and went back to bed.  I did wake up the next morning obviously, but was told the reaction I had should have been called in 911 and been at the ER immediately.  I never took it again.  These old, old generic meds have stood me good.  I don't read the warnings yet.  I'm still shuffling around.  (Oh, I did read one of them made it harder to lose weight.  No kidding.  I wonder if it was as bad as that half gallon of lemon ice box pie ice cream I've almost eaten all of in two days.  

[Gwenivere]

Thanks Kieron.  Unfortunately my iPad doesn’t have control keys like my office computer keyboard.  I sit in the living room except checking the news when getting up and personal replies before bed. Usually when it disappeared all I had to do was type anything and it would come back.  Maybe the software changed.  Sometimes I jump over to a new tab to look something up and that is when I depended on the editor.

[KarenK]

Well, I tried a sleeping pill last night(Belsomra). I had some out of date samples left from the doctor. When I tried them before, at least I wasn't zombied the next day. Didn't work at all and  made me jittery. Can't take Tramadol with sleeping pills so I skipped that. Maybe why I was jittery. Also messed my stomach up. Sleeping pills are not my friend either.

[Gwenivere]

What a mess, Karen.  Sleep is so important.  I hate mine is interrupted at least 3 times as it should be one time we get relief and should recharge.  All I want to do is go to sleep, tired or not.  I want to escape this reality.  I’m hooked on it as I am not infirmed or sad in any way there.  Frustrated maybe at times, but so many things I’ve lost live there.  People, dogs, activities, adventures and even happiness.  The latter never happens when I’m awake.

maybe your doc could prescribe something you could take with tramadol?  A mild sedative maybe?  So many are struggling with sleep, I know many that need help.  

[Margm]

Karen, I'm sorry, I have not been following as close as I should have been.  I don't know what you've tried and not tried.  For years, the Tylenol PM did me good.  I took two a night.  The liquid PM solution seems to do Brianna good.  Well, maybe not that good, but she is afraid of pills.  She is hypothyroid, and she does take those pills.  But, of course, not to sleep.  Since Billy has been gone, I need my sleep.  One time I got a little over tired, was out for quite awhile, and the next morning my meds were still in my med cup.  I take a baby aspirin even though I have the Factor IX in my blood and am not supposed to take aspirins.  Also, they tend to (can we think up a nice word for constipate?), anyhow, no more than I take, they have not done that.  My classmate just passed away from a stroke, and I guess we have to go someway, some how, some time.  I always wondered why I was not the one taken, but maybe there is something I have to do.  I certainly know of a few things.  I think of my aunt who passed away a couple off weeks ago, and she had everything in order, in writing, and was insistent this was what she wanted.  She may have weighed between 60-80 pounds, but she always wanted to be skinny.  She was ready.  This has nothing to do with ways to go to sleep, but on and on I go.  I'll stop.  

[KarenK]

Marg, I know I've tried Trazodone and one other(can't remember what) in addition to the Belsomra which worked before and didn't leave me a zombie. I didn't get a scrip for it as insurance didn't cover the $400 price. I started taking Tramadol for headaches as OTC meds don't cut it. I discovered it works pretty well for me as an antidepressant, where actual antidepressant meds don't work for me. Go figure! Tramadol is habit forming and if I miss one, I feel like I'm jumping out of my skin. I'm pretty sure sleeping pills are out for me now anyway as they don't mix with Tramadol(might put you in a coma). Doesn't seem like worth the risk to me. I think I'll just muddle along with my crazy sleep patterns. Bad dreams do me in every time.

[Margm]

Karen, I was talking about over the counter Tylenol PM.  My shrink told me as far as she knew it would be okay to take it forever.  You can get the acetaminophen PM generic.  No scripts.  

[Gwenivere]

It really angers me the cost of prescriptions!  I understand drug companies invest a lot in developing them and deserve to recoup some of that cost.  But pricing them at rates that many can’t afford and benefit from is shameful.  I have to take a brand antidepressant which is over $300 a month.  I was able to get that cut way down on my present insurance, but there is a doubt the new Medicare plan may not budge with the usual proof from my doc that generic and other meds tried caused severe side effects.  

Its so much greed.  They milk that patent for all they can.  

I think you got jittery from skipping the tramadol, Karen, since it is a narcotic.   My anxiety meds do the same thing to me if I miss a dose as I am dependent on them.  I’m really surprised the cost of trazadone is so high as it’s a generic of Desyrel.   Some insurance don’t carry some meds which I have never understood.  You can get driven crazy with formularies.

it does sound like exactly what you are looking for.  So unfair. We just try to function with what works.  Having to fight for it is cruel.  

[KarenK]

I'll get some of that next time I'm at Walmart. It will be okay with the Tramadol. Thanks.

Gwen, it's the Belsomra that's so expensive. Trazodone is not expensive, but moot point now as neither mix with the Tramadol. When I got the Aspergillus in Kentucky I was given a specific med for it(along with a bunch of others). It was covered by insurance while hospitalized. This is a lifelong thing and has only one med for it. I was given a script and was quoted about a $400 price for it so I simply refused it. As long as I can breathe well enough to get around, I'll do without.

Yes, it's real pain in the butt that the med companies hold us prisoner.

[kayc]

19 hours ago, Gwenivere said:

Unfortunately my iPad doesn’t have control keys like my office computer keyboard.

Just like the iPhone, undo and redo are available on the iPad in any text field as long as you have access to the keyboard. Undo is the ⌘ + Z (Control + Z) equivalent, and Redo is ⌘ + Shift + Z (Control + Shift + Z) equivalent on iOS from your Mac or PC.  I don't have an ipad so hope you find something that looks similar??

 

[KarenK]

Guess I'll be playing "musical doctors" tomorrow. Need script refills by Friday and my doctor is not available so am stuck with a new doctor. New to that office anyway. I googled him and he had terrible ratings at former offices. Oh joy! I am a stubborn old broad who refuses to go to the heart specialist, urologist or have a mammogram or colonoscopy or quit smoking so doctors don't like me much. My doctor and I have an understanding on this. It should be interesting.

[Gwenivere]

Kay, the iPad does not have access to control, alt or function abilities.  I just googled it and they are working on it for future models.  I seem to lose the editor if I leave google to use another app like the calculator.  So I need to train myself to copy an unfinished post for backup.  Easiest solution.

Do NOT envy you, Karen.  I hate getting new docs.  They often want to muddy the waters for some reason.  Maybe it makes them feel fulfilled they did something, not just copied another doc even tho something didn’t need fixing.  Or power, who knows?  I’m a lot like you.  I won’t have all the tests.  Maybe I’d feel better if I did and they could find sources for my many yucky feelings.  The obstacle for me is getting them done with no help.  Oh, and that tiny one that I’m not thrilled about living without Steve.  

[widow'15]

16 hours ago, KarenK said:

I think I'll just muddle along with my crazy sleep patterns. Bad dreams do me in every time.

KarenK:  Sorry you are experiencing this dilemma.  Keeping you in my thoughts.  

I was complaining to my neighbor about my not being able to sleep and she shared a friend of hers can't sleep either.  Since he lives alone, he gets out at bed and cleans house or works on a painting.......he is an artist.  LOL.  Not a suggestion for you, but I had to laugh when she shared this with me.  I get up, make some toast, take two Tylenol, crawl back into bed and hope for the best.  😁  Good Luck, Dee     

[Kieron]

I did not know iPad doesn't have Alt, Ctrl or other such keys.  Ya learn something new every day.  🙃

[Margm]

My sister has always relied on melatonin.  They have them in gummies too.  I could not take it because it caused nightmares.  Does not do everyone that way.

It is over the counter too.  

The meditation apps are actually good.  Your frame of mind will have to decide if they are good for you.  It seems on 2-3, maybe more, there is a man or woman who will say something that just aggravates me so much I quit listening.  They say something like "now isn't that correct" or, "now what do you think of this" and the timbre of their voice will throw off any relaxation I have settled into and I'm wanting to find that person and fight them.  

You, of course, know I reached for anything the few nights after Billy left.  Imagine me, hair stuck out everywhere (I have a habit of running my hands through my hair when I am reading, when I am trying to go to sleep.  I think I hear someone at the front door.  I unstick the soft ear buds, look out the window, it is past 2:00 a.m., I go to the door just before they knock it down.  Three police cars, lights flashing, one ambulance, lights flashing, at least three people standing at my door, me with ear buds hanging down my neck.  My gosh, I could not hear my cell phone, could not hear the house phone, I'm so sorry small town police force, ambulance from just down the road, I'm trying to control my emotions.  (My sister, my daughter, my son, they were all scared because I could not hear my phone.) This was before Covid and I would be asleep before midnight.  Now, I could use the meditation apps but those irritating phrases just make it where I can't.

I honestly could (when I had cancer) concentrate so much on the tapes (a long time ago, cassette tapes) I remember the cool breeze and floating on the soft, moist, white cloud over the far off island's blue lagoon.  I really could.  You know I was not in my right mind, on a cloud over a blue lagoon, and I cannot swim.  

 

[kayc]

Karen, good luck with the doctor!  I'm having a disagreement with mine over statins...I was originally prescribed them prematurely and have been on them for 23 years now...they cause Diabetes and there's strong reason to believe they do not help us but hurt us, unnecessarily.  I know if I go off of them and my cholesterol reflects it I'll have a fight on my hands with my doctor, possibly losing my PCP.  I wish I had the nerve to just do it!  I'm so fed up with doctors' only remedy pushing pills recommended by faulty "studies" that skew the statistics because they're funded by the drug companies that profit from such things!  I wish I could turn back the clock to that time and would undoubtedly reflect a different outcome!

Doctors don't seem in the business for listening to what we want, if you have one that hears you, they're worth their weight in gold!

Gwen, I understand there's no control button, that's why I googled how to undo when using an ipad, that is what they said to do.  I have a Kindle I never use because I don't like how it operates!  Much as I don't like Microsoft, at least I know how to use their operating system.

[Gwenivere]

I just have to accept that an iPad is more limited than a larger computer, laptop or desk, Mac or Windows.  I was trying to read some info on a site that required I sign in with Google.  Haven’t in a long time so had to reset my password.  Spent my  'going out sanity time' on the phone with Apple.  Seems G took over my Gmail.  Not only on my iPad but my 2 Windows email accounts.  Apple helped all they could.  Google in my future today.  I hate this kind of mess.  Really makes me miss Steve.  He understands/stood all this stuff.  All it does is stress me out.  I may be at a loss of things to do, but I’d like to pass on this stuff.  

All I did for my grief Zoom session was sob.  I found out what I always knew, not getting out of the house all day is very bad for me.  I don’t know how those of you that don’t do it!  I know you don’t enjoy it, but you seem to handle it better.

now I go into 'dry' days.  Absolutely nothing to do, beyond the Google call, exterminator and house keeper til Sunday and hopefully a Zoom call with an acquaintance.  Don’t need anything from any store.  Gawd, it’s so lonely without my partner.  Contacting my docs for various probs just leads to more frustration and pain locks me out of doing things to pass time and also accomplish something.  I’m supposed to get pain patches this week.  I looked them up and am very hesitant about them.  They say they shouldn’t be used with my anxiety meds.  No alcohol and I love my glass of wine.  They are a 24/7 deal too.  So will have to make that decision after another message to my doc about the interaction.  

I never thought I’d see the day I wished for just plain boredom.  No drama, no depression over little things, just bored.  I have a dog that would love for me to sit and throw the ball endlessly.  That would be good for us both but it hurts to sit outside.  I just shake my head wondering how I went from such a fulfilled life to this madness.

[KarenK]

It seems to me that a lot of doctors prescribe drugs that don't mix without a second thought. My records show that I take Trazodone. It's a good thing I don't really take it, because he went right ahead and gave me Tramadol. Major interaction. I always check drugs.com on anything I'm given. Did that for Ron's meds too because he took a lot of pills. Don't know much about pain patches except my daughter was given high dose Fentanyl patches the last few months along with max dose of IV  morphine. At that point they were only concerned about pain control, not interactions. It's a completely different scenario from yours. Do you know what the patches are?

I got some Tylenol PM and am going to try that in a couple of hours to see if it helps me sleep.

If I could afford the gas I'd just drive up to the mountains every so often just to escape civilization. As it is, I escape to the lawn chairs in the front yard after dark when it's cooler. That and the grocery store are about it. BORING!

Learned something interesting from my son today. I get tons of calls from unfamiliar numbers which I don't answer. If for some reason I decide to answer, I just say"Yes ? ". He told me to never say yes because they might be recording your voice and then run a scam and swear that you agreed to something. I never thought of that at all. Learn something new every day.

[kayc]

7 hours ago, Gwenivere said:

I have a dog that would love for me to sit and throw the ball endlessly.  That would be good for us both but it hurts to sit outside.

Kodie does his fetching in the house, but it kills my hands so I'm limited how much I can do it.    Sweet little boy, I feel bad he didn't get an owner that can do these things, but I would never ever rehome him, my personal belief is that they can adapt to us, limitations and all, what they really need is love and care, and that I have an abundance of.  I can so relate to you, Gwen!

Kodie has a bad ear infection that put a damper on his/my birthday, I called all over trying to get a vet that would take him, nada.  I got an appt. with VCA (the same one that put a private investigator on me when I fell) but will call his reg. vet back when they open and try to get an appt with them today.  My dermatologist screwed up (again) and said my appt is Fri. so that means I'll have to go to the valley two days in a row, ugh!  Ahh well, such is life!

[kayc]

Karen, I read the combination of those two drugs yesterday, yikes!!  That doctor should be chastised!  Doctors prescribed something for my sister with aspirin in it (she's extremely allergic) and she almost died!  The ambulance couldn't get in to her dead in street because they made a "fire camp" at the entrance, blocking everyone in!  Very scary.

[Gwenivere]

11 hours ago, KarenK said:

Do you know what the patches are?

I got some Tylenol PM and am going to try that in a couple of hours to see if it helps me sleep.

I escape to the lawn chairs in the front yard after dark when it's cooler. That and the grocery store are about it. BORING!

He told me to never say yes because they might be recording your voice and then run a scam and swear that you agreed to something. I never thought of that at all. Learn something new every day.

I looked up the patches and didn’t like what I read.  I’m desperate for cutting the pain, but I don’t want to risk a reaction.  I need to wait til they get here to confer with the pharmacist and probably reach back to my doc.  Glad you caught the mistake yours made!

i keep forgetting you live in heat.  We are switching to fall and getting chilly and damp.  I hate losing the light so early and not being able to get comfortable.  Part of it is reynaulds syndrome, not enough blood flow to the extremities.  So I get blue toes at times.  My fingers work even less well when they get cold.  

Yah, boring sucks.  Yet....here we are.  Drives don’t inspire me as I’d be alone.  So much traffic here that to get anywhere with a different view would take an enormous amount of time and the reverse coming back.  So I’d be stressed for all that effort.

Interesting about saying 'yes' answering the phone.  If I can see my caller ID, as I use a headset for all the time I spend on the phone, and see an odd number I say 'what?'.  Really throws spammers off their spiel for a second.  Got one yesterday about Medicare ahhhhhhgain, and had to hang up as I told them I’m signed up for a supplemental plan and NOT going thru that again.  Never got so much attention about my upcoming birthday.  Never hated one like this one.  I’ll be 65, alone and holding a health care card instead of a birthday one from Steve.  Yup, happy happy.

dont know why but I got to thinking about the obvious around us.  Have you ever noticed how many people you interact with commercially or just are around that never existed when we were in our 20,s?  It’s amazing to me the people I depend on for services did not exist and may have been years from that depending on how old they are now.  I doubt my doctor was more than an infant at most.  Weird.  Isolation leads odd places.

[KarenK]

Gwen, yes I got my refills along with my paperwork for a chest xray which I'll do when I get around to it. Finally managed to get my dermatologist appt for the 20th.

My brain jumps all over the place(always has). Was looking at places on realtor.com in Wy and Mt the other night, even though I'll never be able to move there. I just like looking, especially at the real expensive ones.  lol  That got me to thinking about the big Yellowstone earthquake in 1959. We lived about an hour south in a travel trailer. Middle of the night. My dad grabbed his gun. Thought it was a bear shaking the trailer. Found out a few hours later about the earthquake and devastation. Funny how we can't control our thoughts any more than our dreams.

[Gwenivere]

This insurance thing never ends!  I told my bank not to make any more auto payments and they sent one on the 2nd.  I got a call today that Premera is refunding me 4 duplicate payments and now I have to call on this one.  It seems to go to an office that cashes them but doesn’t apply them to my account.   Now I have to babysit the account for awhile.  I wonder why an insurance company doesn’t contact me wondering why they are getting money they don’t know what to with.  I’m glad I have a rep there who tracks this down.  Once things are set on my Visa, I’ll cancel this biller in checking.

I tried to talk to a human being at Google and failed.  It’s impossible unless you pay an annual fee it seems.  They had me on hold for a rep, but after 30 minutes I got the message no one was ever going to take it.  So my mail is still messed up a bit.  Called my BIL but he was busy.  Going to try today, tho I don’t think he can do anything.  

I’m dreading today for the above reasons and the exterminator as well as housekeeper will be here.  That means I can’t get the inside treated, I have spiders that are annoying.  Bad planning on that.  They want the house vacated for the inside, tho I never have.  Can’t pull it off with the cleaner here.  Then it’s a shower and that will do me in.  Have to go out and get something for dinner.  Found out yesterday my walking is getting worse.  Waiting to hear from the surgeon for help on this.  

It will be waking wishing I could just curl up to Steve before facing the world.  Knowing he will be there as I do battle.  Miss he would deal with Google and feel more at ease doing things that I feel unsteady at.  That wishful dream he was here and no problem couldn’t be solved.  

[Kieron]

5 hours ago, Gwenivere said:

 I wonder why an insurance company doesn’t contact me wondering why they are getting money they don’t know what to with.

That happened to me just recently.  I kept getting a refund check from a clinic I had a balance with.  I forgot I paid it off and that I had set up automatic payments to the same place.  So rather than notify me they were getting payments on a paid-off balance, they kept sending me paper refund checks each month.  After the third one arrived, I thought, "I just cashed one of these last month. Why am I getting another one?"  So I called them up and we discovered the problem and I canceled the auto-pay, but wouldn't you think the clinic accounts payable dept would want to not have to keep on with the hassle of refunding me, and taken the step of alerting me?  Sheesh.