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It may be hard for Gwen to do it, but better yet, since they're cleaning it out, why not have them scoop up some of her fur and put it in a ziploc bag?  They're already getting paid to clean it so what will it hurt for them to do that for you?

Hugs....I know this is hard.

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Thank you, dear Kay ~ but this site belongs to all of us, and it is our members (like yourself) who help to make it the very special place that it is. So congratulations to ALL of us! ❤️

I don't know if any of you saw it or not, but Marty received "best monitored award" for a grief site, that is a big deal!  https://www.verywellmind.com/best-online-grief-support-groups-4842333 CO

The appointment went OK.  I got my RX's refilled and listened closely to gather info he needs to hear to lighten the stress for me.  There was talk of increasing one med, decreasing another that distu

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Excellent ideas, you two!  I will ask them to do that.  I’m an old lady and Its not surprising if they are weird, right?  I hope they can get enough as I was pulling out big piles always and most will be in the sheet and towels and they won’t be cleaning those.  Can’t get them from the dryer as it mixes with other lint.  All I can do is try.  Going to have them put a clean sheet in there.  Torn on washing the towels as they are clean, just furry.  Her toy is in there too which will stay for now.

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Only got out today to pick up the community center meal.  Sat for a bit with a few people til I got too cold.  I didn’t get any physical accomplishments done.  Didn’t make any easing of pain.  I saw how I can fit in anywhere, but I didn’t feel spurred to put anything into becoming a part. They are very friendly.  I can’t blame them as I’m not making an effort.  So it makes no sense in my head.  Even the people that serve up the meals know me and are really nice to me.  All these people get up every day with plans.  I wake up wondering why.  This grief is increasing with the winter coming.  I add in how the docs are expecting me to make choices when I can barely think.   I’m so tired of feeling sick either from meds or stress.  This is going to sound horrible but I don’t know how else to say it, but in my old life, I wouldn’t be mingling with this group.  I’d be back at the nursing home where I love being with residents.  That is my calling.   How I melded in without trying.  Getting so excited about the people there and how they made me feel special.   So I’m learning that not all possibilities we come across are necessary to grab.  My counselor wants me to so I will have to say not all are what we want or need.  I don’t mind the chats on Saturdays, but I know there is no fulfillment in this experience.  

I am trying to figure out how to handle the car detailing.  I pulled out some things to wash, stored some stuff in the garage.  Have a bag out there to put all the little stuff from the front in Monday night.  I realized I better move the important stuff so I can put it back where it belongs easily.  Plus their little things so easy for me.  

Got to talk to a friend from here in the afternoon.  That felt good.  I feel at home here too.  Now on to another day.  I don’t even hope for a pleasant awakening.  Sometimes you just have to be realistic.  

I did splurge and have ice cream I forgot I had for dessert.  Forgot how that had my kids attention as eating in the living room means it’s really good.  Just didn’t have to save some for Ally.  😓

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17 hours ago, Gwenivere said:

 Torn on washing the towels as they are clean, just furry.

I have made dryer lint cards.  You could easily do this yourself with a mold (they make them with dragonflies, etc).  All you do is take the furry lint when you clean out the dryer screen, put it in a blender with some water, blend it, put it into the mold, take it out and set it on a screen to dry. That way you'd have a piece of her with you always.

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I have her paw print in plaster on my mantle.  No mistaking that it’s hers.   So darned miss her with 2 people I know getting pups.  I don’t want a pup.  I want her, my best buddy.  This is so different than after losing Steve and Belle.  I was in shock then and had all this excess energy.  Glad I did get Melody or I’d be totally alone.    

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I wish the place I had Arlie euthanized did paw prints in clay, that would have been nice to have.  I tried doing Arlie before he died and he took off running, black paint splashing all over, took me an hour to clean it up!  I'm a slow learner, and tried once again, again, another hour cleanup.  But I treasure that ink print, I think of it as "Paw Print in Motion" and have it posted in my kitchen where I can see it every day.  It brings me a smile at the memory...

I also have one we did after he died, but the one in motion I treasure the most...that was him.

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