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My Sanity Needed Vents


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I’ve never had to wear a mask online.  Where has that happened to you, Kieron, if it not too personal?  I got from Dee’s post that she was at the doctors office when she got the new picture.   Heh heh, do I sense a little um, dislike for the virus as you wont even say it?  🙂 

7 hours ago, kayc said:

I was shocked at my doctor's last treatment, I consider it unacceptable and far substandard care.  Am very close to considering a new doctor...if only I knew a good one to go to.

First off, I don’t know about your price clubs, but Costco and Sam's here’s photos aren’t anything I’d worry about.  Their so small and never had a clerk look at it.  I can’t believe I just don’t care about how I look anymore as far as hair or makeup.  It’s alllllll comfort and clean now.  No frivolities.

 I’m still shocked at your doctors visit.  I have never heard of such a thing.  At my clinic they went telemedicine unless they had to physically see you, as In your case.  The last time I was physically anywhere was at the neurosurgeon as they needed to see my posture.  

What a pain to find a new doctor.  I’d love to as well, but because my guy is test crazed.  I know he cares but he just doesn’t get that they stress me out and I can’t physically or mentally handle them right now.  He’s really nice too, but admits he’s never had a panic attack nor depression.  At least I’ve gotten that thru to him that it isn’t because I’m a non compliant patient.    Plus the back pain trumps everything.  Oh, and bring sedated for one test with no one to drive me home.  

I just think it’s nuts you were treated at your car.  I only saw that for people waiting at urgent clinics to get in when it was their turn to not sitting around each other while waiting.  Is there somewhere you can call for a referral and tell them what happened?   I’d have filed a complaint with that office.  That’s just not right.  

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I just meant people are taking selfies/headshots of themselves all masked up and then posting that as their Twitter icon or some other account photo, such as FB or something.  Makes no sense to me.  That's like being asked to wear your mask for your driver's license photo and then running around with that until it's time to renew the license.  Take the thing off, photo, mask up and be about your business.

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15 hours ago, Gwenivere said:

They took a picture in a mask?   Now that is weird.  You’d think for a couple seconds the mask could go.  Wouldn’t most patients look alike?  😷

Yes, thought it was weird, and funny at the same time.  Makes me wonder if this means this next year we will all still be wearing masks?  Depressing thought in this crazy world.  Dee

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11 hours ago, kayc said:

Dee, you did well going to an appt. and being let into the building!  I was shocked at my doctor's last treatment, I consider it unacceptable and far substandard care.  Am very close to considering a new doctor...if only I knew a good one to go to.

 kayc, this appointment was with my retinal specialist for eye treatments for my macular degeneration issue.  It is definitely a hands on treatment.  I understand you feeling your last doctor's visit as unacceptable and substandard.   It sounded awful.  Dee

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8 hours ago, widow'15 said:

Makes me wonder if this means this next year we will all still be wearing masks?  Depressing thought in this crazy world.  Dee

This is the hardest part of this whole thing.  The timetables keep being moved and people start going a bit crazy when they can’t see a clear light at the end of the tunnel.  I know I’m not the only one mentally struggling with this.  I so hate this distancing and lack of touch.  Even talking is hard because I feel suffocated in person.  Am so tired of Zoom.   Tired of how we are being forced to go against our need for connection.  Those little hugs or smiles are essential and we never realized how much.

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14 hours ago, Kieron said:

I just meant people are taking selfies/headshots of themselves all masked up and then posting that as their Twitter icon or some other account photo, such as FB or something.  Makes no sense to me.

They do this by choice because they want to show they support wearing masks.  There's controversy about whether they really help or not, depending on the source you listen to, so there are advocates of it and others nay-saying it.  I am me WITHOUT the mask, sure wouldn't post a picture with one!   To me it's unfortunately, a necessary evil we have to contend with.  Ever wonder how your breath is?  Wear a mask, it'll let you know!

5 hours ago, Gwenivere said:

I know I’m not the only one mentally struggling with this.

I think we all are.  I am barely surviving it feels, I don't hear from anyone, all the more reason my  neighbors mean the world to me, we're like in a bubble here, hunkered down but all still friendly with and talk to each other.  I get Kodie's play dates, sometimes get to talk with Jazzy's owners.  I gave Kodie's bed to Jazzy the other day and she loves it!  She could smell Kodie on it (he has two, never uses it and it's too big for him).  The owner had to wash it again so she'd realize it was HERS!  Here's a picture of her on it, Kodie's best friend.

Jazzy on her bed 021921.jpg

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6 hours ago, Gwenivere said:

This is the hardest part of this whole thing.  The timetables keep being moved and people start going a bit crazy when they can’t see a clear light at the end of the tunnel.  I know I’m not the only one mentally struggling with this.  I so hate this distancing and lack of touch.  Even talking is hard because I feel suffocated in person.  Am so tired of Zoom.   Tired of how we are being forced to go against our need for connection.  Those little hugs or smiles are essential and we never realized how much.

Wasn't that a Rick Springfield song: "We all need the Human Touch".

This point has really kind of hit me unexpectedly. I never thought that I needed another's touch. I grew up never getting hugs (my Mom just is not a hugger). And then I met Annette. She broke me. She gave the best hugs, and her hands were so perfect- they just felt so right. I don't like the feel of other people's hands (my father-in-law is a hold-hands-while-praying type, and it just feels weird). My Mom's hands are old and small. It's a weird thing to think about, but I do need human touch- I need hugs, but I just don't know what to do about it. My Mom still does not hug. In the past, she will just let me hug her, but I get nothing back. My father-in-law is a hugger, but I can't risk it right now, as he just does not take COVID seriously. It's always weird hugging a man too. Nothing homophobic- It's just weird hugging another man. I never like to. I only liked hugging Annette. And I have as much chance of meeting another woman, as I have winning the Lotto, and I don't play the lottery. It's a sad, sad "State Of The Heart" (Rick Springfield references, but it was a cover when he did)

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2 hours ago, kayc said:

They do this by choice because they want to show they support wearing masks. 

I realize this, but taken to extremes, it's virtue signalling.  A photo is not going to make anyone sick or keep anyone well.  Some of this annoyance in me comes from the self-absorbed "selfie nation" going on where people take endless photos of themselves for others' consumption, clicks, "likes" and so on.  I'm not going to change my opinion about someone based on their use or non-use of a mask in a photo.  In person, yes, otherwise it matters not a whit.

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This mask thing is sure a hot topic.  Not just here, but now getting into double masking now.  There’s still the divide in the real world.  I absolutely hate them but I believe in science and the super spreader events has proven it.  Hearing this may stretch in 2022 was depressing news.  It’s been a year and now talk of next already.  

I don’t care about pictures.  I don’t take or get any so it doesn’t affect me.  My friend wore one yesterday, of course, when visiting.  I did too and hadn’t been before.  I’m getting trained by the constant fear this is making us live in.  I didn’t before when my housekeeper was here as she was in another area of the house.  I still forget it at times til I get to the door of stores.  I’m so tired of how this has taken away much needed human contact I just cry at times missing an essential part of being human.  

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5 hours ago, nashreed said:

but I do need human touch- I need hugs, but I just don't know what to do about it.

I’m desperate.  I’ll admit that.  Plus, I am a hugger and miss the ones I had with many people that were in my life pre pandemic.  I’m sorry you’re not around comfortable people for that.  I hugged men, women, dogs.  I don’t really remember how it actually felt.  I know it was good.  There used to be an abundance where I volunteered and when Steve was alive (with him obviously) but also with the other musicians.  It was just natural to greet and say goodbye with one.  

I’ve only been  touched medically and only once without gloves.  I don’t feel like a complete human anymore.

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I agree that the masks are definitely a controversial subject.  Personally, I only wear one because we have to.  I do believe the virus is real.  I just don't believe it's as bad as we are being told it is.  I think the liberal media is to blame for the constant attempts at instilling fear in everyone and also for not reporting any opinions that don't go along with their agenda.  There are many, many experts that do not agree with Fauci and his buddies. 

I think keeping us all isolated has had a worse effect than the virus itself. 

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The thing is, they've told us such conflicting things that we don't know what to believe!  They were adamant that masks were not needed in the beginning, then they changed it to we have to wear them, now double masks?!!  

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Yes, it would help if they actually knew what they were doing.  I think most of us here are stressed enough without any more added in.

I actually had a dream the other night that I was sitting in a restaurant and an old friend and her husband were sitting at the table next to me.  We both got up at the same time to say hi and I just automatically gave her a hug.  I could feel her kind of pull back and then I remembered - we aren't allowed to hug anymore!  That's pretty sad, as far as I'm concerned.

Now, I do believe in being aware and careful, but I'm not afraid of every person I pass at the store, thinking they must have the virus.  Obviously, I don't want to be around someone coughing all over everyone.  But they shouldn't be out in public anyway.

I think most of us here would agree that this would all be a lot easier to deal with if we still had our spouses here.

 

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4 hours ago, Kacy said:

Yes, it would help if they actually knew what they were doing.  I think most of us here are stressed enough without any more added in.

 

7 hours ago, kayc said:

The thing is, they've told us such conflicting things that we don't know what to believe!  They were adamant that masks were not needed in the beginning, then they changed it to we have to wear them, now double masks?!!  

We are dealing with a virus unseen before.  It doesn’t surprise me that conflicts arose as it became apparent this was much more serious than originally thought.  As with many illnesses, the more learned, the more adjustments are made.  The fact it’s mutating leads to more changes.   The only good thing was the massive effort to get vaccines faster than ever done before, but now mutations might threaten that.  This happened with SARS and MERS, but quick containment made all the difference.  

Infectious disease specialists wanted this treated as an emergency right away to be safe.  I feel we would not be in this horrid mess if they would have been listened to.  Better to have overreacted.  

I’m frustrated that it gotten this far as protocol that was in place for such a possible emergency.  This has always been planned for, but the powers that were at the time chose to ignore them. Now we are stuck with their wanting to downplay this.  It wasn’t the scientists, it was political.  That’s what angers me.  New Zealand acted promptly and are covid free.  This isn’t a case of 'better late than never'.  It should have been let’s do lockdown and maybe we are wrong with some inconvenience.

as for double masks, that is because of the mutations and their being easier to catch.  I can’t do it with my breathing complications, but I understand the idea.  

We are stressed enough, I totally agree.  Add in the national storms and it’s almost unbelievable all that is happening.  We are a year into this and no clear end in sight.  Only advice I’ve been reading is not to watch too much news.  Anything we need to know will come without focusing on it.  

 

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Personally, I am glad for social media, without which I wouldn't have my diabetic group nor learned so much about health this last year.  Nor would I have my church's prayer group, or see pics of my grandchildren.  I think it all depends on how you use it, what kind of friends you have.  I don't have the kinds of friends that post negative stuff all the time.  Nor do I use social media for my news.  FB wields too much control and I would not trust the powers that be there to determine what gets passed on and what does not.  ;)

 

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I just have this thing about Facebook.  I did it for a very short while dons ago and have watched people get all over the mao about it.  When it came out that aryan groups and other negative 'organizations' were using it, they dragged their feet banning them.  I can see the benefit for families for speedy sharing of pictures and updates with a lot less effort.  I’ve seen some friends lost as they started living there and didn’t have time for personal communication.  I know some addicted to it.  But then, I guess that could be said about me, email, vid games and coming here.  🙂

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I guess it's what we're used to, I have my routines, I go to my FB diabetic group, come here, do my other grief group, check email, walk Kodie 2 x day plus play dates when we can, do what I need to do around here, clean, cook, dishes, garbage, and hauling wood up on the deck.  That about calls it a day!  I didn't sit down & relax until bedtime last night so I let Kodie stay up with me a cuddle a few minutes.  He's so sweet!  He's really a good sport.  Oh and I also glance through the paper on line and play my games to keep my mind active.  Didn't have time last night!

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I wish I could do a fraction of what you do, Kay.  My big day was a few phone calls, 2 errands out and a shower.  I seem to have pulled a muscle in my upper thigh that just adds to the back stuff that was barely tolerable.  Another injury that is tough to tend to as there is no way to really rest it.  It doesn’t like moving so sleeping overnight means pressure for hours.  Of course, most things I did had things fall so that required bending more.  Still have to put my hair up and that’s gonna hurt to brush out and do.  Cleaning the bird cage spilled some seed that needed sweeping up.  Dropped stuff all day justtttttt out of reach sitting.   Housekeeper comes tomorrow and will change the bed and hopefully get laundered and put away.  My Netflix stuff still isn’t here and I miss having something to watch before bed.  Ben catching up with late night shows, but I want to watch the finale of a series I’m into.  Petty whining when people face huge problems, but we each live in our worlds.  Plus, there’s that alone factor.  I’d love to sit and play a tile game we used to when in need for shared time.  It involved complex thinking and so much better than vid games.  Can’t play against myself tho.  

Does your super woman cape cause problems?  🙂

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14 hours ago, Gwenivere said:

Does your super woman cape cause problems?

I don't see myself that way, I'm not able to do a fraction of what I used to and live with pain, hands, knees, and now throat/tongue/mouth, I HOPE it goes away...SOON!  I hurt my back yesterday so was down with the heating pad.  Still have to get wood in, load the fire, walk Kodie, etc. so don't have the luxury of staying down, remember when our husbands used to take care of us when we were out of commission?  It seems a million years ago when I had someone who cared for me. :(

Making those phone calls is the worst, I hate straightening out medical stuff especially!  Right now it's snowing & sticking so it looks like shoveling snow is in my forecast.  Ugh, my back hurts thinking about it!  I had to take Tylenol yesterday, looks likely I will today too.

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1 hour ago, kayc said:

Right now it's snowing & sticking so it looks like shoveling snow is in my forecast.  Ugh, my back hurts thinking about it!  I had to take Tylenol yesterday, looks likely I will today too.

kayc:  Sorry to read you're watching snow fall and suffering with sore back.  Try to let the Tylenol work and don't overdo.  So far today, we here are ok in Tacoma.   My BFF is my heating pad.  It sure feels good in the mornings when I crawl out of bed and have my coffee.  Take care, Dee 

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On 2/26/2021 at 10:47 AM, kayc said:

remember when our husbands used to take care of us when we were out of commission?  It seems a million years ago when I had someone who cared for me. :(

Yeah, it does feel that way.  More so for you, but I think when it gets to about 4-5 years it’s just a blur.  Been a struggle for so long and beaten down in survival mode.  Sounds like you are stubborn like me and do all I’ve planned even if I’m in too much pain.  I’m getting better at limiting things.  Can you go without walking Kodie for a day?  So as not to overdo your pain?  I often cut down or don’t throw the ball for Melody on really bad days.  I feel bad about it, but I want to be more functional later.

Dee, my heating pad is a good friend also for my thigh when sitting.  I tried it on my back when doing so, but it was too awkward.  I’m losing sleep now to pain and that’s not good for cognitive thinking.  Adds to depression too.  Makes the smallest things monumental.  Just thinking of going out to pickup something for dinner feels a hassle.  So does making something here.  Really sucks when eating isn’t enjoyable.  

waiting to see if our weather warn day is going to pan out.  Have sun then gloom.  Had a batch of 34 EOB's to open from insurance.  That’s the 3rd time they slammed me with massive ones from last year and all no money owed by me.  Finally got some lost Netflix discs.  It’s been a week without some shows I was watching.

another day in paradise, as they say.  Tho this is about as far from paradise as one can get.

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5 hours ago, Gwenivere said:

Dee, my heating pad is a good friend also for my thigh when sitting.  I tried it on my back when doing so, but it was too awkward.  I’m losing sleep now to pain and tests not good for cognitive thinking.  Adds to depression too.  Makes the smallest things monumental.  Just thinking of going out to pickup something for dinner feels a hassle.  So does making something here.  Really sucks when eating isn’t enjoyable.  

Gwen:  It is a sad life to think that we are so connected to a plug in electrical heating pad to give us comfort.  Unfortunately, I start my day with it on my back and when I need to regain strength during the day I find myself longing for the warmth.  My daughter bought this one for me - it is nice and long and has flaps that go across the shoulders which I don't use very often.  A beautiful sight. LOL 

Sorry you are dealing with your constant chronic pain.  Oh, how I hope there will be a solution for you one of these days, soon.  I can't imagine being in deep pain continually.  Makes me ashamed to complain about my achy old bones.  Always keeping you in my thoughts.  Hope you can rest and enjoy your Netflix discs.  Hugs, Dee

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15 hours ago, Gwenivere said:

Can you go without walking Kodie for a day?

Not really, it's part of his routine, I'd have to hire someone and things are tight financially.  I've been taking him for play dates with the husky puppy down the street, Jazzy, and that gets a LOT of energy out of them both, a win-win for them and for me!  I may try the Halti on him again, haven't for months, it was too big, but maybe since he's grown?  IDK

Dee, that heating pad sounds great, never heard of one like that!

Good news!  I switched doctors!!!  Starting Monday I will be with the local clinic.  I will switch insurance and pharmacies when open enrollment allows...I have a call in to a local agent asking if I can during this special open enrollment or have to wait until next year.  He was out Friday so probably won't hear until Monday.  

Haircut appt. Tuesday so I hope I can get out of the snow...otherwise I'm hunkered down.  Besides, I need to fill out the registration forms for the new doctor and drop them off.  I aim to go local as much as I can, I'm getting old!

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Part of Melody’s routine is chasing the ball.  There are days that just isn't in the cards.  It’s great Kodie gets exercise with Jazzie.  Wish I had an outlet like that for Mel.  

Great news you will have medical help and RX's!  Hope your get your hair done, that always feels good.  I’ve had mine cut twice.  Getting shorter each time.  Too old for the longer I had.  I should get it really lopped off, but not ready for that shock.

Dee, that heating pad sounds great.  I just have a standard little one that covers my thigh.  Too small to sit back against.  Don’t think I have any more plugs on my extension cord to add anything.  I’m pretty much OK sitting, it’s the getting up and walking or standing that gets me.  It feels like my spine has curved more mid back.  Can’t pull my shoulders back either.  I was so tall all my life, being this hunched over, shuffling, gray hair pinned up old lady is quite shocking when I give it a good think.  I’m really 65!  It blows my mind because of so many things wrong that don’t go away as they did And being in dangerous territory for fatal stuff.  I know one woman who is 70 and still going strong.  I’m really discouraged that what has happened to me physically has caused the more dangerous outcomes by being so extra limiting.  Exercise would help so much and even lead to healthier eating.  Mentally I could do more socially even in the pandemic.  Add in being separated from our partners and it’s really hard to find much optimism.  Make that any.  

Gonna try throwing Mel’s ball for her.   That won’t last long.  I worry about her long term health too not getting her enough exercise.  The best I can do is feed her much more healthy food than I do myself.  Have to kill 3 hours til it's time to go to the community center for dinner.  Makes me sad that is all I have to do.  My new date night.  I miss Steve.  😰

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