Packed Connor's toys and leashes away today

[Connor'sMom]

HI,

It has been a month since Connor's passing. I bought a pretty trunk to put Connor's toys, leashes, costumes and blankets away. I had the energy today to organize and remove the items laying around the house. I feel like I am back at square one. I was Connor's Mom. I don't know who I am anymore. I tried an in person pet bereavement group this afternoon at the local shelter. I wasn't ready. 

Just a message to say that every day is going to be different. Be gentle with yourselves. 

Connor'sMom

[kayc]

I still have Arlie's things about the house.  I can't seem to remove them.  It's interesting how we all handle this different.  When my dad died, my mom came home from the funeral and started throwing all his things out.

[Connor'sMom]

I think I read this in one of Marty's articles (I have been reading everything in order to make sense of my grief), but I went back into the trunk to get Connor's name tag. I put it on my key chain. I'll live with that for awhile and see if it provides some comfort. 

 

[Connor'sMom]

I just received news that Connor's playmate passed away yesterday 😔 Connor and Buddy met when they were both puppies. They played together for 4 years until both our families were re-deployed to different coasts. I hope they are back together again, playing tug of war and watching over our families.

Connor'sMom

[kayc]

23 hours ago, Connor'sMom said:

I went back into the trunk to get Connor's name tag. I put it on my key chain.

What a wonderful idea!  I hadn't thought of that, I may do that also!

14 hours ago, Connor'sMom said:

I just received news that Connor's playmate passed away yesterday 😔

I am so sorry.  I'm going to feel the same when Arlie's best friend, Sammy passes, which I hope will be a long ways away as she was younger than him.

14 hours ago, Connor'sMom said:

I hope they are back together again, playing tug of war and watching over our families.

I'm sure they are, and those are wonderful thoughts.  We hurt for ourselves and our missing them so much, but they...they are happily playing.

[Connor'sMom]

HI @kayc Today, I was teetering on being angry. It's not my nature. But I accepted that feeling and took some deep breaths. I had errands to do and had to drive by Connor's Vet today. It felt so strange. My car wanted to take a right turn......

I am holding onto the hope that Connor and Buddy found each other. Buddy LOVED Connor. Buddy wasn't a fan of other other males, but Connor taught him it was ok to play at the park and meet new friends. It didn't mean they were coming home with us .

Connor'sMom

 

[kayc]

11 hours ago, Connor'sMom said:

Connor taught him it was ok to play at the park and meet new friends. It didn't mean they were coming home with us

Ahh, that's so sweet!  I have to take Kodie to the vet Monday, praying it doesn't snow as it's an hour away from here.

[Anappa]

On 1/19/2020 at 11:19 AM, Connor'sMom said:

I think I read this in one of Marty's articles (I have been reading everything in order to make sense of my grief), but I went back into the trunk to get Connor's name tag. I put it on my key chain. I'll live with that for awhile and see if it provides some comfort. 

 

I keep Abby’s tag on my keychain as well.  I think there is some comforting symbolism there - maybe that they’re still with us.  Abby’s tag is made from aluminum, anodized blue and over the years, she wore it down so it’s silver and rolled on the sides and to me, it means quite a lot to have that with me all day.