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I am 23 years old. It has been 3 months since my mom passed from cancer. She was 56.. November 25th my cousin accidentally OD on heroin, 21 year old... 

Then November 29th my mom died. The family is torn apart. My mom first got cancer when I was 2 years old. It came back four times until it was metastasized. 
Now I have to afford a house, car, pets, while going to school and working as an aid at a hospital.

Lately I have lost a sense of who I am. I have always been my moms caregiver. My father is not in the picture, he would rather drink and do drugs than help his only daughter.. My mom was my purpose, now I need to find my purpose. 

Memories flood, not just memories of my mom but also my cousin. Thanksgiving is never the same. I am isolated from the family because we are all grieving in our own ways, and I probably remind them of my mom so maybe that’s why they are so distant.

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I am so sorry, Courtney.  It's hard enough grieving the loss of your mom, but your cousin too, needing to find a place for yourself and all the stress that entails while going to school, and lack of familial support...that is a lot on your plate.

You will get through this, one day at a time, sometimes one minute at a time.  Don't hesitate to come back here close to the holidays, it's something we all go through together, yes, loss of someone important to us changes a lot for our lives.

https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2016/04/in-grief-coping-with-multiple-losses.html

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10 hours ago, Courtney O said:

Lately I have lost a sense of who I am. I have always been my moms caregiver.

This feeling is not at all unusual, my dear. I invite you to read In Grief: After Caregiving Ends, Who Am I?

And coping with the grief that accompanies an overdose death is especially difficult as well. See The Grief of an Overdose Death: Part 1 and The Grief of an Overdose Death: Part 2   ♥️

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