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Dre'

Can the rest of my life really be this bad???

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I know that feeling of feeling like this is the end...or at least the beginning of the end.....I must also say that before my husband passed I never really had a feeling like that.....I was a real contender and always trying to spread hope.....

Now I am in hiding and feel like the earth could split at any moment and swallow the kids and I.... 

I am sorry to hear that your health is deteriorating. I hope you at least have meds to offer relief for your condition....

Even sorrier that you lost your "Lancelot".... I wish I had pearls of wisdom to impart but I am into this day 89 now as it's pass 1am....and it seems as if you're been living with this ugly monster "grief" for a while now......I honestly can't say where people find the strength from to survive such a devastating blow as to lose their spouse and still go on and piece things together.... and even inspire others.

 

I can't speak for the rest of the world but I know what my husband and I shared was magic..... it was and still is crucial and integral to my being. I have noooo clue as to how to make it through this horror and it takes everything out of me. I wish I could tell you something like I hang on for my kids' sake but it is not that. They are miserable and express that several times a day.....so they too see the pushing through meaningless days, as just existing.... but here we are still standing..... not sure whether to be grateful for this or ticked off..... we are here nonetheless.....  

This grief experience is merciless and horrific, it's difficult any way you dice it....so try to be kind to yourself......will keep you in my prayers❣

 

 

 

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15 hours ago, Dre' said:

what my husband and I shared was magic..... it was and still is crucial and integral to my being.

Hold onto that...I do, I know it has to last me a lifetime, what we shared was beautiful and if I never have love again, at  least I know I have been loved fully and it has to carry me.

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