Weird sensations...

[Steve N.]

I'm trying to find out if some observations that I've made and sensations  that I feel after losing my father are unique or somewhat common. 

It is all very subtle but noticeable. I have noticed feeling at times like he has become part of me. I find myself thinking random thoughts as if I am him. Movements and facial expressions that have me say, that's not me that's him. I find myself wanting to hear music that he liked that is not necessarily my taste. 

Has anyone reading this ever felt or made observations like mine? 

[Mark Coz]

Hey Steve,

This is common. I also experience this. But i think its not after he passed away that he is " in you ". You just pay attention to it now and see it.. And i would say ofcrouse its like this. He was your father. You saw him all your life, you probably have his skeleton/build so moving like he moved makes alot of sense. Also youve seen millions of facial expressions from him when you were a child. We copy that. Even words we use or phrases remind us of them. Its ourselfs but we are all a mixture of our environment. the ones who were most around in our life we gained alot from. Don't be scared that its like a "soul/ghost" of your father in you ( not sure if you think this but still wanted to say it ). If i may ask, what are or were your, two biggest struggles? and what would you wish for more than anything else?

[Kieron]

On 4/16/2020 at 1:06 PM, Steve N. said:

Has anyone reading this ever felt or made observations like mine?

Oh, definitely.  Even though the most important figure in my life who's passed on isn't my father, I find myself appreciating many things that he enjoyed, or using some of the same sayings or turns of phrase.  It brings me a bit of comfort to use his cooking utensils and cast iron pans, as if I am assisting with their intended purpose, versus letting them sit idle.

Like the previous comment says, we may unconsciously pick up habits or mannerisms from one another.  These become so much part of us that we forget where it all came from.  And, I would suggest, it may also be that we are wanting to feel closer to the person who is gone, in whatever way we can.

The following clip from YouTube captures some of what you may be feeling.  The artist, Luka Bloom, is not mainstream but he has a great many fans.  As he says, the song is about his father who passed away, and it's called "The Man Is Alive."  If nothing else, listen to it for the guitar solo.

The Man Is Alive