Lara Posted May 26, 2020 Report Share Posted May 26, 2020 Hello, I lost my cat 3 months ago. He was my everything. I was very attached to him. I spent half my life with him. Yesterday, my mother announced me that she was taking a new cat. I don't know how to deal with that. I feel like it's replacing him. And it happened not a long time ago. I wanted her to wait. I don't want the new cat to take away the memories I have with MY cat. I know I will never love an animal as I loved him. But it is very difficult for me at the moment. Thank you. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted May 26, 2020 Report Share Posted May 26, 2020 I am so sorry for your loss. It's very hard to get used to their not being here, they were such a big part of our everyday existence. Getting another cat will not replace your other one, in no way! I hate the name of this article for that very reason but I look beyond the title to the content and intent and it is a very good article...I think it was called that in response to the letter writer. A new pet will not take the place of your other one, but rather will create it's own space in your heart. My Arlie was my soulmate in a dog, and I lost him in August, it was the hardest thing I've been through since losing my husband 15 years ago! Just before Christmas my son brought me a puppy...he is not Arlie, but he has created a spot in my heart all of his own. I will forever miss Arlie and no amount of dogs will ever change that, I love and grieve him. I do not know what I'd do with this social isolation if it were not for Kodie, he gives me purpose, companionship, and keeps me super busy! But still I shed my tears for Arlie...love for both of them can coexist at the same time. Arlie will forever be my heart dog. https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2013/01/replacing-pet-who-has-died-when-is-it.htmlhttp://www.pethealthnetwork.com/dog-health/end-life-support-grieving-dogs/new-pet-when-right-time I fully believe we will be with them again...I hope you will get comfort from this video: Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lara Posted May 26, 2020 Author Report Share Posted May 26, 2020 Thank you very much for all the reassuring messages. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted May 26, 2020 Report Share Posted May 26, 2020 I agree with everything Kay has said to you, Lara, and I hope you will take her wise words to heart. Might you consider finding some ways that you can memorialize your kitty? When my beloved Tibetan terrier Beringer died, I spent hours going through all the pictures I had taken of him over the 14 years he was in my life, and I ended up making framed collages and memory books that I later gave to my grandchildren. (There are places online for this; I happened to use Snapfish ~ and trust me, I am NOT a computer whiz ~ but even in my grief I was able to pull it off!) The memory book I kept for myself is one of my most treasured possessions. I also placed all of his "things" in a special wooden box (collar, tags, loose fur from grooming sessions, some of his baby teeth, etc.). And I have pictures of him on the bookshelves in my office. His darling face is the "wallpaper" on my computer screen. These are ways I keep him alive in my mind and in my heart. Whatever way you can think of to honor your kitty's memory is up to you ~ but I think it does help to ease the pain. (See also Memorializing Pets We Have Lost) ❤️ 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted May 27, 2020 Report Share Posted May 27, 2020 18 hours ago, MartyT said: His darling face is the "wallpaper" on my computer screen. I have Arlie as my wallpaper too, the favorite day of his life, running in the snow with his dog friends! 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lara Posted May 27, 2020 Author Report Share Posted May 27, 2020 I really appreciate a lot all of this advices. I will consider without a doubt making an album since I have over 1000 pictures of him. I am keeping everything and I don't want the new cat to use them. They will be for always his things. So I thank you one more time for all of your kind words and support that help me a lot! 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
ipswitch Posted May 29, 2020 Report Share Posted May 29, 2020 I've always gotten my pets through the shelter. I never thought a new pet as a replacement. I always thought, "There's no reason for a cat to spend it's life in a shelter, when it could have a home with me. I can't give every cat a home, but I can give one a home." 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted May 30, 2020 Report Share Posted May 30, 2020 And that is the best way to look at it, you are wise to do so! I wish you the best going forward, loss is the hardest price one can pay for loving. Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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