Dad was my hero

[Nutski]

My dad was always my hero. He died about 6 weeks ago at the age of 85. He was at home. We all got to say goodbye. Since I was 18 at my grandmother's funeral and was told I had to be strong, I don't cry... until much later. Later hasn't happened and now I find I can't sleep. He was a great man and he is truly happy now. How do you work through it? 

[Kieron]

I am sorry that you lost your dad so recently.  Working through it is different for each individual and changes in sleep, appetite and other ordinary activities are often noted in the days and weeks and months afterward.

[MartyT]

I'm so sorry, Nutski, to learn of the death of your dad ~ the man who was your hero. I'm sorry, too, that as a youngster you were told that you had to be "strong" in response to a significant loss. The thing is, grief doesn't "go" anywhere. It just lies there,waiting for us to take care of it. If we don't deal with it at the time, if we try to bury it or ignore it, grief has a way of commanding our attention, sometimes when we least expect it ~ and if we don't meet it head-on, it can come out every which way but straight, in the form of misplaced anger, depression, physical ailments, or any number of other ways. The good news is that it is never too late to do the work of mourning. What do I mean by that? I invite you to read the following. Note the additional resources listed at the base of each article, too:

In Grief: Feeling Disconnected from Feeling Bad 

Finding Crying Time in Grief

In Grief: Taking Time to Mourn

Bereavement: Doing the Work of Grief

 

[kayc]

Another post from June 4 that is just now showing up for me.  I apologize for the late response, not sure what happened back then but there was apparently a glitch.

My condolences on your loss.  Marty has posted some good links for you, I hope they help you.  

[MartyT]

1 hour ago, kayc said:

I apologize for the late response, not sure what happened back then but there was apparently a glitch.

There was indeed a glitch, Kay. Ordinarily I am notified immeditely via email when a new member registers (for security purposes, before anyone is permitted to post on our site, every new member applicant must be validated/screened by me, so as to protect our site from inappropriate use from advertisers, robots, etc.) Suddenly (unbeknownst to me) around the first of June this year, any notice that had been sent via my AOL address from this site did not come through. Once I discovered (by accident) that several new members had been awaiting validation, a solution was found, those members awaiting validation were approved, and suddenly their posts appeared. I think the problem has been solved now, since once again I am being notified via email as soon as someone registers.

[Kieron]

I kept noticing a lot of unanswered posts this past month or so.  Nothing worse than joining a forum and posting, and feeling ignored.  Hope these new folks don't take it as such!   It takes some courage to join a forum, sometimes.