True Soulmates

[JimJim]

My Nancy passed on in her life Dec 3 2018, her birthday is drawing near on July 16th, her 73rd, last years birthday was so hard to handle, this years will be even worse, all last year I kept thinking that somehow I would wake up, and that this was all a bad dream, but the  the year went by, and the hard realization is that time is going forward, and not backwards, and I am still in a bad dream, are trying my hardest to keep going, but each day is like the last, feeling empty inside and so numb to everything, I have been to see different mediums and psychics, and are being told that Nancy is with me, sees me everyday, and that there is a place for me with her when it is my turn to take that journey into the afterlife, a day that I look forward to!! She wants me to be happy with whatever time I have left, so what makes me happy is Nancy is an artist, acrylic paintings of abstract art, and she is very talented, God I love these paintings, so I have opened a domain website to showcase her talent, also are organizing a billboard on the main highway here to attract people to her site, are working with a local publishing company her to create a 8 page book memorial to show her art and bio, and my tribute to this wonderful woman that graced my world, also including the location of our sites at Graceland cemetery in Chicago, that I just purchased for the both of us to be side by side, here on earth and afterwards, it will always be Nancy and Jim as I go forward, we spent 24 years as partners in life here on earth, and plan to continue the same after leaving, because she is asking me to go day by day without her physical presence, and as painful as it is, I will wait my turn to be with her again in the same place, and then I will be home again, how I so long to be home again!! 

[kayc]

I understand, Jim-Jim, your devotion and love is very apparent.  Yes we proceed with our love in spite of not being able to tangibly see or touch them.  Death cannot destroy "us," the couples we are!

[Gwenivere]

I long to be home again too, Jim.  Those words leapt out at me so vividly.  I don’t know if that will ever happen, as I have no idea about afterlives.  All I know now is that this once home is now I house I occupy with memories instead of life.  My companion now is  old age and so many things we would be doing or facing together.  Nothing has much meaning.  I admire your getting Nancy’s artwork out there.  I wish I could do the same with Steve’s music.  I’m not tech savvy enough to do websites or even know where to put it.  Just trying to survive day to day in this nothingness I feel insude without him.  Want to care about something again beyond what has to be done because I am alive.  So odd to be that and only feel it thru pain.  It will always be Steve and Gwen in my heart.  

Inhope you'll share the link when you get this completed.

[kayc]

I've lived here over 43 years, long before I met George.  I raised my kids here, went through much of my adult life here.  But it was George who truly made this a home for me, a warm inviting place.  I treasure the time with my kids here following their dad's and my divorce, it was the three of us in this together, making things work, it felt like teamwork and support.  But they quickly grow up and fly away!  It's been so long since I've had George here, since he held me.  So long...and now it's starting to feel that way with Arlie.  I hate it.  I hate that their absence/separation distorts time/memories by making them seem far away.  15 years ago today.  How can that be?

[JimJim]

So true words Kayc, and Gwenivere, home is the place where we know that we are loved, regardless of anything that might happen, the world could end literally, and as long as that special person is at your side, there is no fear, this true soulmate at your side, takes away all doubts in life, as we are facing it together, so much stronger!! I didn't realize just how much stronger I was at facing day to day life, and all of it's struggles, regardless of the outcomes with Nancy by my side, until now !  she was my rock, my reason for hoping for a better tomorrow, nothing could hurt or harm you, life had more hope and meaning, lol I would tell anyone that she had me wrapped around her little finger, cause she did, my greatest joy was her smile to me! I understand that we are all hurting and adjusting, and just trying to find some peace, and i wish you all good will in finding it !! people tell me that I have to go on, and start a new life, my answer to that is they don't have to make any adjustments, as nothing has changed to alter their lives, you can't change something when it is all you have known and loved, my life is still with Nancy and will remain so til it is my turn to be with her, Thank you for listening, much appreciated, wishing all of you a peaceful day.

[Margm]

Home to me was where ever Billy was.  I decided I would go back to where we both started out, where our kids were born and graduated, not the most beautiful place in the world, bothered by weather, flat land and I love mountains (but that was what we both loved), but we and generations before us were flatlanders, where the bayous flow and floods and occasional tornadoes, lots of bad stuff, probably even malaria, if it was still here.  As close to home as I can be.  No home without Billy, but my kids and sister lives here, and my granddaughter.  Home is where the heart is, and this is all the heart I have left.  

[Gwenivere]

JimJim, people have actually said to you to start a new life?  It just makes me shake my head at the insensitivity of people.  Number one, we already have because of the loss.  Number two, what does that even mean to them?  Like....well, so and so is gone so I’ll just regroup and and start over, no harm done.  Darn, I wish they would have packed up all this stuff they left laying around.  What a mess and what am I going to do with it?  Throw it out?  Can’t call them to come get it.  Unbelievable someone could say such a thing as you pointed out, nothing changed for them.

So easy to say looking in, not living it.  

I have to hire or rely on outsiders for help doing things now.  I’m glad they are there, but just setting up our AC?   It’s no big deal with 2 of us.  Impossible for me.  I live with decades of what you pointed out.  The day to day knowing they were there, consciously or not.  To be able to yell down the hall dinner was ready or there was a heavy package to bring in.  Such little things til they are not.  Buying stuff you knew they could install or as a surpise we have to pass on now. Decide on priorities for projects.  Completing those projects and feeling good it was a team effort even if just writing a check to someone.  

Yeah, start a new life.  Feh.  My new life is depression.  It’s a blast.  Not.

[nashreed]

I wanted to resurrect this thread, as it touched my heart in a specific way. I don't have any way to start a new life. I have nothing but medical and credit card debt to offer (and an obsolete collection of 6,000 CD's). 

JimJim, I wanted to ask if the psychics you contacted were believable? Did you feel that they were really in contact with Nancy, like they knew something that only she could know? I am so torn about contacting one, but would love to know how Annette is. What you did with her paintings was awesome! I really wish I had something of hers to share. The only way I can keep her memory alive is to talk about her, but there's nobody to listen (other than you fine folk). I would love to set up a Memorial Page but there wouldn't be anybody that would visit. She had virtually no friends, because she was shy and we just wanted to spend time with each other.