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Loss of conversations w loved ones

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My older brother and I mostly communicated w texts. It started getting harder for him to breathe. He was in last stage of COPD emphysema. The day after he passed away, my phone broke ;(. I’ll never be able to read our many talks again.  They tried hard to repair my phone. I never had a phone break!!! It picked now?!! Well,  It just happened again. Yesterday, all the conversations I had with a site that has helped me and encouraged me for 2 years, were accidentally erased by me. I would go back and read some of the conversations when I was lonely or having suicidal thoughts. Which is often... Or to read a prayer they would write for me at end of every chat.  It was a major lifeline I severely needed and couldn’t have been erased from me at a worse time.  I cried and am still upset.  I think the worst part of it is the validation I feel again that things are not going to get better, only worse. Too much is broken, and I’m tired of living with the fear of what is next!!!  😕
 

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I lost all of my husband's answering machine messages two weeks after he passed, I hadn't known it'd do that or I would have removed the cartridge (on landline).  Also lost the ones on our cellphones at that time too.  The ans. machine/phone system I have now does not record over them, if I save them.  Wish I'd had it back then!  It does feel like a huge loss at the time.  I still remember his voice though and can hear him leaving me a message in my mind.

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