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When my father died April of this year, my 23 year old son (J) lost his grandfather. I am struggling with figuring out what my own emotions are; J is struggling with emotions he recognizes but are overwhelming. He is able to cry, but says it is very hard to talk about it. I want to be able to help him, but I don’t know how when I can’t help myself. My 18 year old daughter tells me that she and J are “big kids” and I can’t fix them and I know she is right. But... I don’t know what... I want to help him and it feels like being with him while he cries is nothing, although I know it’s not. 

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1 minute ago, Cinderella said:

I want to help him and it feels like being with him while he cries is nothing, although I know it’s not. 

You're right, my dear ~ while it may feel like nothing, being with your son in his pain and sadness is one of the most loving things you can do ~ for both of you. I'm hoping this might give you some insight too:  How We Mourn: Understanding Our Differences

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My heart goes out to you and your son...this article may be of some tangible help to you:

http://www.griefhealing.com/column-helping-another-in-grief.htm

Understanding we can't fix this, most of the things people say to grievers aren't helpful, BUT we can "be there," listen, and care.  That does mean a lot.

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