jc1030 Posted December 21, 2021 Author Report Share Posted December 21, 2021 On 12/20/2021 at 9:49 AM, kayc said: That is so neat that you kept in touch with her! Yeah she organizes some of the local shows and her work will also turn up as well. Also I guess for me in lieu of not having any close family in the area I need as many close friends as I can now. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted December 21, 2021 Report Share Posted December 21, 2021 That's good, we can never have too many friends! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jc1030 Posted April 4, 2022 Author Report Share Posted April 4, 2022 The first few months of the new year, I can't say things have gotten easier. As I'm approaching the two-year mark of my mother's passing, my mind is no longer on cruise control and I think it's been hitting me even harder and making me sadder. I think what has contributed to this is the fact that for the first time I'm dealing with my own taxes where it includes items that I inherited from my mother; and the additional taxes involved have made me anxious. With time I hope these will be issues that I can manage. I'll have to be able to deal with it since I have no choice. Some things around the house that have started to break down have also contributed to this anxiety; I'm thinking "Really life? You have to be this unforgiving?" Also, as our world is slowly returning to "normal" (whatever that means), I find that I am kind of resentful that most people around me can do that. Having had to be a caregiver during COVID, my thoughts are I know that I will never be able to go back to the life I had when my mother was still alive, and how dare everyone else being able to move forward. With all of the others in the world who lost loved ones during COVID, I have to think I'm not the only one who feels this way. One of my co-workers lost both of her parents within a week the beginning of last year. Like me she's an only child so she understands what it's like to be burdened with all of the legal matters and feeling overwhelmed. My office has finally officially returned to the workplace albeit on a very part-time basis. Some parts of my desk are still kind of frozen in time from when they started requiring us to work from home in March 2020. I'd have to say I have no problem returning to the office a few days as sometimes working from home can get a little stale. At the end of the work day I have to go out, even if it's to visit the same local shopping mall over and over again. The one thing I do miss is the commute of getting up from bed and walking down the stairs but I'll adjust again in time. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted April 5, 2022 Report Share Posted April 5, 2022 I lost my closest sister eight days ago, I find your middle paragraph relating, Peggy didn't have Covid, but was very disabled and had dementia, I took care of her, was her lifeline. I didn't expect her sudden death. At the time she died I was online placing a takeout order, my pup Kodie and I were planning to bring her some. No, our lives will never be the same again. I feel so alone in this. Not hearing from people unless they want something, except my friend Laurel. II'm sorry you're feeling this way also... 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted April 5, 2022 Report Share Posted April 5, 2022 Covid in grief Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jc1030 Posted April 19, 2022 Author Report Share Posted April 19, 2022 Yesterday I did something that for me was really sad and it may seem silly. For the past two years a Chinese tea shop that my mother loved buying from would periodically call her to let her know of new arrivals to the store. Usually it would be too late for me to answer. Finally they called again and I just happened to be near the phone (yes there's still a land line phone in the house; could never really get my mom to know how to use a cell phone). I finally answered and spoke with the store and in my broken mandarin I explained that my mom was gone and they can remove her phone number from their list; they expressed their sympathies. The house is full of tea that I'll be consuming. Like most things, my mom had a lot of things she would keep a supply of but barely use. It's from her upbringing to save and conserve from growing up in a country that witnessed war and unfortunately a civil war that she would have to flee from; kind of like the same mindset that generations that grew up during the Great Depression had. Once I start using up some of the supplies, maybe it will be my turn to have a relationship with the same shop. A little reminder for me of the things she used to like. 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted April 20, 2022 Report Share Posted April 20, 2022 My sister had a stash of herbal tea but didn't care for it, I imagine it was gifts from people (she didn't drink coffee), so I'm drinking them now, not my favorites but I'll use them. Last night I had a cup of my own chai and oh it was heavenly! These have kind of weird tastes. 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jc1030 Posted December 23, 2022 Author Report Share Posted December 23, 2022 Hello everyone, wishing you all a peaceful Christmas/Holiday time and hopefully a better new year. My Christmas card design for this year. The only painting I was able to do. Hopefully next year I will be able to resume my hobby. I have to admit I haven't been on here for a while. Earlier this year as I mentioned back in April my workplace returned to work and it's been busy and stressful. Unfortunately with the things I deal with and the people I have to handle, for them it was like kids entering the candy shop again. Frustrating that two years of COVID didn't teach these people a single thing acting like we're back to the good old days prior to 2020 so they think our work can be completed yesterday. I wish at this stage I could hang it up with this job. I've put in 30 years though in terms of retiring I still have a ways to go. Many people decided to either retire or move onto something else during the last two years. The estate process is still ongoing but I'm at the point where I accept it is what it is. Anything to do with dealing with government and legal processes will take time. So be it. Still kind of annoying nonetheless. Some positive notes for me. In October I took my first real vacation/trip in a few years. Of course it still felt a little weird to be in the airport and making sure to remind myself I've done some of these things before. It was just a domestic trip but nice to get out of the area even if it's just for a week. And for Thanksgiving I was once again invited back to the same home so more interaction with people. Well that's everything I can think of. Again wish everyone a peaceful holiday time; if only it didn't go by so quickly. For those who experienced loss this year, some semblance of happiness and normalcy will eventually return in time as you learn to adjust. Jeff 2 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MartyT Posted December 23, 2022 Report Share Posted December 23, 2022 Thank you for the update and for the lovely wishes, Jeff. Your Christmas card design is beautiful! Clearly you are a talented artist! Sending our best wishes back to you! 🧡 1 Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kayc Posted December 24, 2022 Report Share Posted December 24, 2022 I love your card! Very beautifully done! Wishing you a good Christmas as well! Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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