Lost my childhood cat

[amboehlen]

Hi, I'm looking for ways to grieve in an effective healthy manner. I feel very lost and disoriented right now

We had to put my 21 year old cat down unexpectedly last night. I've had this cat since I was three, I don't remember a life before him or without him. He was having some issues a couple weeks ago but they seemed cleared up and he was back to normal. Very talkative, very spunky, eating well. Then last night, literally in a matter of seconds he had an event (stroke, seizure, we're unsure). Rushed him to the ER and had to make the choice to let him rest.

That was less than 24 hours ago. I don't know how to grieve him. I don't know where to start. Right now I'm just crying. My husband and I boxed up his food too give to my parents. We washed his food and water bowls. He had a makeshift bed made of blankets, we washed those and put them away. Now I'm just crying. I miss him. I don't want to believe that he's gone, that I'll never hear him or see him or hold him again. I desperately want him in my arms. I don't know how to start grieving, I feel empty. I feel like I'm drowning.

I know things will get better in time but this first day feels impossible. I don't know what to do.

I attached a picture of my baby. His name was Westley, and he was so incredibly handsome.

[Dogmom]

I am sooooo sorry to hear that you lost your sweet Westley last night. When you've had someone you love for nearly your whole life, it's truly impossible to imagine that they are no longer physically with you. Everything around you is a reminder of them because they were so much a part of your daily life. Those feelings of disbelief, numbness, sorrow, and immense heartbreak are what we first feel and are very normal. Those of us that have loved greatly, mourn greatly. Crying is very much a part of it. It's ok to talk to others about how you are feeling and this site is a nurturing, safe place to reach out. There are so many helpful resources for you. Know that you are not alone as we all understand your sadness. Sending virtual hugs... and thank you for posting Westley's picture - he was a very handsome boy!

 

[GMS]

Hi. Sorry for your loss. Westley was a pretty boy.

I think you've already started grieving and definitely the first few days or weeks can be really hard. Our pets are part of our everyday lives. They love us without judgement, give us comfort, consistency and purpose. I think the best thing especially in the beginning is having people around you that understand your grief and you can talk to and explain your feelings. That could be your husband, family, friends, or people like us on the board who can relate to what you are feeling (I lost my cat about 6 weeks ago). I know making the decision to euthanize him was very hard and it's common to feel guilty even though you did what was best for him or to start second guessing yourself.

I still think about my Mango every day, but eventually the good memories start to outweigh the bad ones. I promise it will get better. I also adopted a new kitten much faster than I ever thought I would. I think losing Mango made such a big hole in my life I really needed something to help fill it. He'll never be a replacement but is helping me to learn I can love again and be happy.

Regards,

Gregg

[kayc]

I am so sorry, he was a beautiful cat and I understand the attachment.  I lost my 25 year old Kitty in January. 

I wrote about her loss here Having Kitty euthanized this morning - Loss of a Pet - Grief Healing Discussion Groups

And another with my memories of her here Memories of Kitty - Loss of a Pet - Grief Healing Discussion Groups

I do think it helps to express our grief and also memorialize them.  

I hope this is of help to you, it touched me greatly