What made you love your love?

[nashreed]

Hello.

I thought it would be nice to help keep the memory of my wife, Annette alive by listing things I loved about her. Hopefully it will give you all a little opportunity to get to know her, and then in turn, you can write about your beloved. I think it would be a nice healing thing to do, because if I share some things about her, I can remember the good times and not the bad. 

She was 49. She was short, 5' 4". She had the cutest little button nose that I used to press in with my finger, because there was literally no cartilage there. Her favorite feature of hers were her ears, because they were small and petite and perfectly formed. Her natural hair color was kind of a mousey brown, but she dyed it different tones of auburn and red, and had since she was 16. I just so happened to be a big fan of redheads, so she kept it up for me.

She was a huge reader. Unfortunately, she lost a lot of her eyesight because of her Diabetes and having to use Prednisone, so she used a Kindle. Her favorite author was Robert Heinlein. She also loved the Chronicles Of Narnia books, as her mother read them to her as a child. She was always very curious about nature and was also very gullible, which I used to have fun with. She was very funny and cute, and would make up songs for me on voicemails, usually singing new lyrics to Carpenters songs, because they were in her limited range.

Ultimately, she was very shy, but I am too. We were each others soul mates and understood each other so well. She brought out my best qualities, which I didn't know I had. I have a tendency to be very selfish, but she made be more selfless. As she got more dependent on me, I had to step up and actually cook and doing things for her made me happy. Getting her little surprises made my day. She was so patient and tolerant. She put up with me blasting music every afternoon. She had a huge heart, but was also so very sensitive. She lost a lot of friends along the way due to perceived slights. She was really too good for this world. 

James

 

[Gwenivere]

This is healing thing to do and hope it helps you.  Perhaps also the new people that have joined that haven’t shared info to much extent about the uniqueness of their beloved.  Those of us that have been here longer have done that and some may feel inspired to rewrite a portrait as you have done.  As I have lived this pain of Steve’s loss for 6 years next week, it would hurt too much to define him again.  You would have to read back in lots of threads to see we have painted their portraits already.  Being further on the path my needs (?) are survival at a time I miss him most with 3 months coming up of special days one after another that are going to slam me down in pain.  

Keep doing what helps you.  That is what this place is all about.  The important thing is what helps you.  

Annette sounds like your perfect mate.  We all understand that.  All too well.  I’m grateful to be with others that do, but also wishing I didn’t need it.  We’d all have to give up the friends we made here if we had our partners and as much as we cherish them, I know we’d all do it to go back to our happy times.

[kayc]

OMG, I love this thread!  I hope everyone here posts when ready!

What I loved about him (besides his beautiful blue/green eyes and build (and the way he was balding and that tiny lock of hair would fall on his forehead was), how understanding and caring he was, that he was a great communicator, and we could talk to each other about anything, his sense of humor, and how I felt so safe and loved when he held me.  I've never felt with anyone what I had with him.  He took on that protector role with me, I've never met anyone so caring...about everyone.  Oh, and his voice!  Sigh...

[Gwenivere]

There is nothing like Steve’s voice that can make me melt.  6 years later and I can still hear him easily.  Plus recordings I have of him singing.  His sense of humor was so broad, from clever to silly.  His moral ethics I admired.  His tolerance of toxic people far surpassed mine.  I think he wanted to believe everyone had to have some good in them even when it hurt him.  There’s so much about him I could never describe.  We all know those personal magnets that keep us attached so strongly.  So hard to all of us on this memory path.  

[KnVsMoM]

His blue eyes and his long, soft, brown hair. How romantic he always tried to be. From offering me his arm on the way into the grocery store, to cutting me a flower off someone's flower bush when we were out, to coming into the room I was in & pulling me up into his arms to dance to either real or imaginary music playing.

I will never find another man like Shawn and I have no desire to even try. No one can fill that void.

[razorclam]

His eyes. Dark, deep soulful, but always with a sparkle.

He was a great listener. Whenever we talked, he always wanted to know what I felt. 

He was incredibly brave, and maintained his grace and good humor, no matter how bad things got. 

[scba]

OMG I'm going to cry. His eyes, his smile, his confidence, his strength, his values, his ideals, his conversation, his bravery, his courage, his faith, the way he loved me, respected me, treated me, looked at me, hugged me, cared for me. I was first and last. 

My life is now built in a desert. It is even possible. 

[razorclam]

I feel like the Hanna character in The English Patient, who says "I am in love with ghosts". 

[Gwenivere]

2 hours ago, scba said:

OMG I'm going to cry. His eyes, his smile, his confidence, his strength, his values, his ideals, his conversation, his bravery, his courage, his faith, the way he loved me, respected me, treated me, looked at me, hugged me, cared for me. I was first and last. 

My life is now built in a desert. It is even possible. 

Ana, you wrote this better than I ever could.  It was about the respect and care and being first and last.  Just as he was to me. That is true and everlasting love.  Not even death can stop it.  

A desert.  Perfect.  While I found beauty in the the real deserts of New Mexico, this isn’t that.  This worse than Death Valley where nothing thrives and it is something one would have to struggle day by day to live.  Even beyond that.  

I haven’t found it really possible and I’ve been lost in that desert for 6 years.  I struggle, I don’t live anymore.