I want to blame something somebody! This isn’t real

[Kieron]

Horrifying.  I don't even have words.

13 hours ago, Joan_s said:

The owner literally told me to lawyer up and sue them before hanging up on me!

Oh wait, I do.  Of all the unprofessional, inappropriate and underhanded responses!  Does the BBB handle complaints against funeral homes and such?  Or a funeral director's guild, or professional organization that they have to be licensed with, get continuing education etc.?  If a client complained about me, they would go to my licensing board. 

I would start there, if you can summon the energy.  I am so sorry this has happened on top of the rest of it.

[Joan_s]

14 hours ago, Gwenivere said:

Yes, money is involved for business, but they lack any compassion.

@Gwenivere the company responded to a a bad review left by one of the guests in attendance. They were so unprofessional they actually misquoted me to put their own twist on the situation and stated 'since they are in the compassion industry, they understood the stages of grief' implying I wasn't in control of my faculties when I took up issue.

I feel so naive, I knew there were businesses like this out there, just never thought in this one industry. I personally have not left anything negative because I still have to deal with the company to retrieve me husband's ashes and certificate.  Right now I'm just so thankful to my friends who are up in arms and willing to help me fight. I've never in my life experienced grief, anger and anxiety all in one. It's a horrible, horrible combination.  This is a link if anyone was curious (Sort filter to Newest/ Lowest rating)  https://g.co/kgs/GCVLAA .

 

[Kieron]

16 minutes ago, Joan_s said:

I feel so naive,

Please don't be too hard on yourself, with this part of it, at least.  Our society refuses to educate us about things related to death and dying and grief and hospice and so forth, and when we are forced to deal with those, we are left fumbling around in the dark, having to trust that these "professionals" know what they are doing.  Often they do, but there are shady ones who have dollar signs in their eyes. At the worst time of life, we have to make serious, far-reaching decisions while our decision-making capabilities are in shock and often in a shambles.  If this outfit you're dealing with were professional, they would use this huge screwup as a chance to refine their technique and services, now that we are forced to have distanced, remote funerals due to Covid.  Instead, they're ducking their responsibility to you, their customer.  Shameful.

[kayc]

54 minutes ago, Joan_s said:

the company responded to a a bad review left by one of the guests in attendance. They were so unprofessional they actually misquoted me to put their own twist on the situation and stated 'since they are in the compassion industry, they understood the stages of grief' implying I wasn't in control of my faculties when I took up issue.

They are deflecting.  I'd rebut it with this isn't about you, it's about how unprofessional they are, botching your husband's service.  Anyone who reads that will reconsider hiring them.  I'd also set the record straight on the misquote.  Someone did that here recently (none of you) and it infuriated me!  Nothing worse than a liar, in my books.

This isn't due to your naivety, it's due to their deceit and ineptness.  (Honestly, I wish I could go back to simple naivety, sometimes it felt a better place to be.) 

I despise people/companies that take advantage of others in their most vulnerable time, which we definitely are in our early losses.

Being "in the compassion business" they should know about the five stages of grief (that they alluded to) being for the terminally ill, not the grieving, another misappropriation by them.  Not everyone grieving goes through the same exact things and this is very early on when a lot of us are in shock or a grief fog.

The Five Stages of Grief debunked
Stages of Grief and Other Lies That Don't Help Anyone | HuffPost Life

 

[ipswitch]

I looked at their other reviews, many of them good ones, but not one mentioning any live-streaming of funeral services. Obviously they were not ready to do this. From what you wrote and reading the review, I'm going to *guess* they used a 'personal' account rather than a 'business' account because this was a new technology they were trying out and didn't want to make a larger financial investment. But taking your money and then saying you needed to negotiate to get it back was beyond the pale.

I'd chalk most of this up to incompetence, rather than ill will.  I was supposed to participate in a state convention via the internet earlier this year. Disaster doesn't begin to describe the experience. Many or most people were locked out of participating - even if they could view the proceedings. It was a mess. 

I'm sorry for your experience. I think Kay has a point: weighing the possible outcomes against the effort you're going to expend is wise.

My man-friend's ex-wife is terminally ill, and his daughters have decided tentatively, to have the memorial service here in their home state. Daughters don't live here, so I guess will make arrangements via phone and email. I hope they aren't promised something the businesses here can't deliver.

[Joan_s]

On 11/8/2020 at 9:43 AM, ipswitch said:

I'm sorry for your experience. I think Kay has a point: weighing the possible outcomes against the effort you're going to expend is wise.

It’s been a few days to process it all. 
Even though most of my days I’m numb or in heart wrenching pain, this experience has completely short circuited my mind. I feel it was incompetence and plenty of failure but the fact they are in constant defense makes it that much worse when all I want to do is pick up his ashes and death certificate then try to pick up the rest of my life and find my path, whatever that direction will be. It’s like a huge mental  blockade that is holding my emotions hostage. I’m too tired to get angry anymore, I’m too tired to invest that much energy right now.  I have one recourse left and I want that to be the end of it. All this has just sent me backwards on my path to healing. 

 

 

[kayc]

@Joan_s  (((hugs)))  I get it.

[Gwenivere]

I do too.  This is too much and you haven’t even had a month to deal with your inner pain which is so very deep.  I hope you can get this behind you and you can start on your path.  🦋