Lost 19 Year Old Son

[Kevin Thomas]

My 19 year old son, Zeke, tragically died in a car wreck on 10/10/2020. I miss him so much. 
I recently read an article about how to answer people when they ask “How are you doing”. This forum was linked into the article as a helpful resource. Im very thankful to find this because I’ve been sharing my pain with friends and family. I’ve tried to spread the texts and calls but don’t want to appear that I’m having a pity party. 
 

anyway.  It’s early this morning and I’m getting my other 3 kids to school.  I’ll have a lot of quiet once they go and that’s when the pain tends to come. 
 

 

[kayc]

I am so sorry for your loss.  It doesn't feel natural to lose a child, we expect to lose our parents, not our kids.  I've lost all sorts of relationships except children, I can't imagine, although I did lose three before birth and that was traumatic enough.  To raise them, love them know them for who they are and then lose them, my heart goes out to you.

More...
Responses to "How are you?"
Fine Response
What to Say (Or Not) to A Person in Grief
What to Say to Someone Who’s Grieving

[gg2b]

Kevin, I am so very sorry for the loss of your son. I lost a brother (age7) from a car accident. The whole family was stunned and in shock for a long time. I was 11 at the time and I recall going through the motions of living....it too a long long time for the searing pain to abate somewhat and to be a bit more bearable. 

In my family we never spoke openly about how we felt- my mom was rather stoic, kept it bottled inside. My Dad buried himself in work. I wish we could have talked, could have shared. It would’ve eased the sense of isolation and lifted the heaviness somewhat. Instead I ended up truly dealing with it in therapy 20 years later. Which came as a surprise to me... I had no idea I had so much unfinished grieving to do....

So it’s good you’re connecting here, I think. 

I send you my heartfelt support and lots of courage to navigate the days ahead with your family.

 

 

[MartyT]

My heart reaches out to you, Kevin, and I'm so very sorry for the unspeakable loss of your son Zeke. I hope you will give yourself permission to acknowledge your thoughts and feelings in the wake of this tragic death ~ without thinking you're "having a pity party."

I share the following just to give you an idea of what you may find helpful in the days and weeks ahead: When An Adult Child Dies: Resources for Bereaved Parents.  ♥️

[MomofJoe]

Kevin there is a FB group that is helpful, very supportive. TCF has a bunch of them. Look for Compassionate Friends.