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Relationship ended due to that she lost her father


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But yeah, if you view the universe has working by a plan, than this is a good way to look at it. Just for me though, I find it dangerous, because you may not take charge to change your fate if you feel its not in your hands. However, things thatare truly out of your hands you should never worry about, and how you see it is perfect. There's no point getting worked up about things you can't change, it only brings you down.

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I feel that Kay C has provided some sound advice and perspective on the grieving process. Personally, I try to refrain from judging others, because a) You can't control external factors (i.e Alek

I'm a moderator of a diabetic group.  My friend leads Celebrate Recovery (a program for drug/alcohol addictions).  With both I see similarities of what we see others go through, whether carb addiction

Thank you for your insight, Baxter. I agree with one thing on you and Kay C have stated: Relying too much on the universe could be an excuse for people to don't care anything at all because it

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Thank you for your insight, Baxter. I agree with one thing on you and Kay C have stated:

9 minutes ago, BaxterBurg said:

I find it dangerous, because you may not take charge to change your fate if you feel its not in your hands.

Relying too much on the universe could be an excuse for people to don't care anything at all because it is " written " I do agree it should be balanced. But I somehow believe that the universe has already a plan and we should still be wise in our actions because  how we treat other people and how we interact with the world,  really depends on us. 

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16 hours ago, CommanderCody said:

One of the thoughts that keep me sane right now is thinking that I have served my purpose in her life and since we're not talking anymore, it's pretty clear that I don't have anything else to serve or fulfill my duty to her life and vice versa. 

In your own opinion, if I hadn't let go after we havent talked for 9 days, what would I or we be now? 

There are some situations and OTHER people's choices that dictate outcomes, I think that is the case with your situation.  I don't think your devotion or your letting go affected the outcome in this situation so much as HER choices/way of handling her grief & relationship.  Sometimes our hands are tied and all we can do is recognize that and do what we can to help our healing.  To have false hope and continue with that will not help our situation any.
 

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16 hours ago, BaxterBurg said:

Good way to look at it Cody. I agree more with Kayc about finding the balance. Being too fatalistic can mean you miss out when fortune presents itself, but in some cases--such as ours--I don't think there was anything we could have done/changed. Even if we could have done something different, it doesn't change the now. We did what we thought was right in the moment. Now, we have to work with our current situations--not live in what if's, or what could have been. Both only exist in our imaginations--even our memories are not completety accurate and only exist in our mind. And at the end of the day, as Kayc has always said, someone who drops us when things get tough is not someone we can trust to form a relationship with. And in my case, someone who isn't communicative will fail at any relationship. Everyone in my life has repeated this same thing to me. In that sense, our fate was pre determined. We did what we thought was right, they did what they thought was right; it would never have worked. 

Not sure if this makes sense, but here's my general thoughts. Its cliche but, when one door closes another opens. And there's no point worrying your present self with what if's, it only brings you down and doesn't change the present. We gotta work with our situation now. If fortune presents uswith someone new, we can't be letting this situation bring us down to the point that we miss it. In short: don't think about the past or present; live in the now, work with the situation at hand. It'sthe only way to be happy.

I so wholeheartedly agree with this entire post!

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16 hours ago, BaxterBurg said:

But yeah, if you view the universe has working by a plan, than this is a good way to look at it. Just for me though, I find it dangerous, because you may not take charge to change your fate if you feel its not in your hands. However, things thatare truly out of your hands you should never worry about, and how you see it is perfect. There's no point getting worked up about things you can't change, it only brings you down.

Agreed!

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