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Sorry for being away so long. This group gave me essential support after I lost Susan, my soulmate of 48 yrs, on 3/31/17, with no warning. I cried every day for about 2 yrs. 

Long story short, I'm about 1.5 yrs into a committed relationship with another amazing woman, Carol. I didn't believe that was possible and it's still hard to believe that she loves me so much, but she does. I am very blest to have the love of 2 such women. In some ways she's completely different from Susan but in the important way of being sweet and loving she's very much like Susan. An essential feature of our relationship is that she lost a partner of 28 yrs and we talk with complete freedom about our lost partners. I talk to Susan a lot and ask if she minds having Carol in the space she so carefully designed and she says not at all, in fact she sent Carol to me. Still it can feel disorienting to be doing the same things that I did with Susan. Cooking our special holiday meals. We went to St John in March in the last week before everything changed, and saw where Susan and I had our honeymoon. We started sailing together. Susan was my perfect expert sailing partner. Carol is a beginner and almost got me seriously injured last summer, but she loves it.  Susan loved the ocean at Ptown and so does Carol. We rented the same condo where Susan and I stayed. Sometimes it's "is this really happening"? Carol even calls me 🐼. Whew!

Everyone's Grief is different.  Speaking for myself only, a new relationship obviously was possible, even though I didn't think so. I'm more happy than I ever though possible in the period of intense trauma. I would be in a very bad state this far into the pandemic without her. If that helps anyone, great.

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Thank you for posting this, Tom. I lost my beautiful and precious queen about a month ago. I’m grieving but I don’t think I could ever let her go, nor don’t believe I want to. So there are those of the opposite sex who are thinking the same thing. Again, thank you and I wish you both the best. 

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Tom, congratulations, I am so happy for you!  Thank you for coming back and sharing this happy news with us!  You are very blessed indeed!

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21 hours ago, joe57 said:

Thank you for posting this, Tom. I lost my beautiful and precious queen about a month ago. I’m grieving but I don’t think I could ever let her go, nor don’t believe I want to. So there are those of the opposite sex who are thinking the same thing. Again, thank you and I wish you both the best. 

Joe, I could never let Susan go, nor do I want to. She is in me. Confusing as it may be, I'm in touch with her spirit even as my relationship with another mortal develops. 

First month was absolute hell for me. Hang in there, reach out, share. I try very hard to speak only for myself. Eventually things developed that I never imagined possible. Best wishes for a better 2021.

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Tom, thank you for your words and encouragement. I find myself crying at the smallest remembrance of Beth. She was the half that completed me. All dreams of the future revolved around her so I find myself just drifting in a rudderless ship on the sea of life now. Joe

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