My son died 2 weeks ago today

[teardrop]

My son, Robbie died 2 weeks ago today. The first week I was numb, I think in denial and sown right shocked. He was 34 years old and my rock. 5 years ago he was in  a serious car accident which left him paralyzed from his shoulders down. Though paralyzed he had full function of his brain. I wathed him go through so much in those 5 years as I was his caregiver. He had finally accepted his disabiliy and started hanging out with his friends again and actually going out with them and enjpying life again as his body allowed. 2 weeka ago, Im in his room as well as 2 of his friends, we were talking, laughing and having fun. Nothig seemed wrong. I went  to the kitchen to make everyone breakfast  and he just silently died..I  am lost and cry a lot. It still seems so unreL.  my boyfriend mentioned removibg  his bed etc (which he's right) I am sure another disabilirt person could benifet and use it for it is a very expensice special made bed expecially for quadrepelgics.   But  I  just can't. Even  the thought of removing his bed take my breath away and sends me into a severe panic attack, Moving his bed out makes it so final and Im not ready. Heck. I don't know how I am going to breath and  live and  even  consider moving on in life without him. He was my life/

[MartyT]

My heart just hurts for you, my dear, and I am so very sorry for your loss. Clearly you devoted your life to caring for your precious son, and to lose him so suddenly and so unexpectedly is beyond belief. It is no wonder to me that you're not yet willing and able to remove Robbie's bed (and whatever else belonged to him). These objects represent your connection to your son, and it's not realistic to expect you to let go of them ~ most especially this soon after his death.

I hope you will give yourself permission to mourn this devastating loss and take whatever time you need to do so. ❤️

[kayc]

While it may be something to consider at some point, now is clearly not the time to donate his bed and if you never do, that is okay too!  My sister became a quadriplegic at age 25, took quite some time to accept it but she did and she was amazing and inspiring, I miss her so much (she lived to 75), she was the glue that held our family together with common bond & purpose.  Now my other two sisters are disabled (one with balance the other is blind), and my younger sister is battling Covid.  I'm not feeling ready for any more but life doesn't seem to go by what WE are ready for, does it. 

I am so sorry for your loss.  My son is 36.  I can't imagine, he is also my rock, although he doesn't live nearby and is hours away.  My heart goes out to you in your sorrow.