Too young

[tomkat2020]

Hi everyone. My name is Tom and this week we had to let my first pet, Meatball go too soon at only 1.5 years old. We had taken him to the vet for a condition known as pillow paw and he was treated with medications one would give. His condition slowly got worse as the weekend wore on and his breathing became rapid and he became more lethargic. Our vet took x-rays and said he had asthma and prescribed another med. We followed those directions but things didn't seem right and took him to a veterinary specialists hospital where they took more x-rays and diagnosed him with congestive heart disease. He was such a young healthy boy and we had to make the awful choice of being with him or having him potentially pass later that evening alone. He had been struggling for a few hours and had not been improving. He was my first cat, my buddy, he'd meow back at me, follow me, greet me at the door. The impact in his short time made it feel as if I've always had him. His loss looms large in our apartment and I just feel like a part of me is missing. I know I'll always cherish the time and many memories we had but still can't help but be angry that I should have had more time with him. I am hoping to take it day by day, week by week. Thank you all. 

[MartyT]

I know I speak for all of us, Tom, when I say how sorry we are for your loss. Clearly you loved your companion dearly, and of course he's left a huge hole in your heart and in your life. It's okay to be angry at the unfairness of it all. It's okay to feel whatever you may feel. And your intention to take it day by day is wise. It won't always feel as bad as it does right now ~ and getting through this moment, this hour, this day is enough for you to deal with. Do you have any pictures of your buddy that you'd be willing to share with us? Have you thought of what you might do to memorialize him? (See Memorializing Pets We Have Lost) And I'd love to learn how you came to name him "Meatball" ❤️

[tomkat2020]

Marty, thank you so much for the kind words. Meatball was the perfect name for our orange boy!  His nose even had a little bit of spaghetti sauce on it lol.  His sister is named Cannoli.  I have gotten a few things, some pictures and his two favorite toys together. Once I can pick him up I am sure my wife and I will think of a way to memorialize him. 

 

[MartyT]

❤️

[kayc]

OMG, how cute is Meatball!  I am so sorry for your loss, especially being so young.  My heart goes out to you.  I'm glad you're able to come here and express yourself.

It can help to memorialize them...I wrote memories in this section of both Kitty and Arlie, whom I lost 1 year ago & 1 1/2 years ago.  It's a shock that's hard to process.

http://www.griefhealingblog.com/2014/08/grief-understanding-process.html
http://www.griefhealing.com/comfort-grieving-animal-lovers.htm

[tomkat2020]

Kayc thank you for the words!  Shock is truly the best way to describe how I feel. I am so grateful to be able to share with others who have gone and are going through similar tough times. This past year has been awful for my wife and I and 2021 did not get off to a great start. It's been like a bad dream that doesn't end. 

[kayc]

I think that describes it to a tee.  I took my Arlie in for routine teeth cleaning and instead came home with a death sentence...cancer, too late.  He'd had his physical just two weeks before, how can that be?!  Two months ten days later I had him euthanized so he would not suffer any more than he already had, I hadn't processed it by then even, it was a horrible shock to lose my baby.  I miss his sweet face each and every day of my life and he died 8/16/19.  It's the hardest thing in the world to adjust to his being gone.  My son brought me a puppy a few months later...one never replaces another, they broke the mold on Arlie, but Kodie has wormed his way into my heart and created his own place.  Still I mourn my Arlie.  I think Kodie understands that.  BTW, Kodie was conceived when Arlie died, born on my birthday, and the name Kodie popped into my head when I first saw pics/video of him...unbeknownst to me the breeder had named him Kobie and my son had a tag made on the way here with him, and he plopped it down on the table and said, "Sorry about the name."  It read Kodie.  I think my Arlie had something to do with it, it was meant to be.  But I miss Arlie's goofiness and Husky talk, his amazing communication, his consideration, he was my soulmate in a dog.  

We get more used to it with time and begin to adjust as much as we can, but still we love and miss them.  That part never goes away.  I've lost 24 dogs and cats, this was my hardest.

[tomkat2020]

Kayc I am so sorry for what you had to go through with Arlie.  I agree that one never will replace the other. I know my pain is still fresh and will get easier over time, but I am having a hard time right now trusting vet's and my willingness to take our other cat in next time just out of fear of a situation happening like before. The rational side of me says "situations like these are not the norm, and happened for whatever reasons" but the emotional side of me just worries now about routine vet visits in the future. 

[kayc]

I totally understand.  In my case I switched vets, but not totally happy with the one I'm taking Kodie to and it's 45 min. away.  May switch to one over an hour away, but right now they're on their last chance, too many issues.  Maybe it'd help if you bring it up to the vet and talk about it, I would be frank.  I feel the same way, you're not being paranoid, you're responding to genuine concerns out of protectiveness, that's what we do.