Have your mental disorders developed or gotten worse since your loved one passed?

[nashreed]

So I have anxiety disorder, panic disorder, agorophobia and most likely I'm on the autism spectrum (it wasn't something that was tested for in the 70's- I was just a weird kid). When my beautiful Annette was alive, she kept me in check. I was even able to work again by her leaving me a message every hour and getting me through the shift. She told me to chill out and relax and was able to help me control my anxiety to a degree that it wasn't affecting our relationship. Now that she's gone, I find that not only do my old mental issues fight for space to make their presence known, but other disorders that I thought I had under control have come back with a vengeance, especially Misophonia. I find that I practically have to have headphones on all the time lately. Just my Mom eating soup just now drove me absolutely nuts, where I instantly had to run to the headphones. So many sounds are triggers: dogs barking, kids screaming, plate scraping, chewing...even a clock ticking. I tried to get on Lexapro, but (as often happens) I had side effects: if a medication makes me feel like "not myself" (for better or usually worse), I can't take it.

I'm sure that this has all been because of Annette's passing. There was a period where I was kind of numb to it all, but now I am really affected by this stuff to a unbearable degree. Has this been the case for others as well?