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What Have I Been Up To?


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I don't remember just exactly when it was that I dropped off the face of the earth here. It's good to be able to be back. I have relocated. I now live in Midwest City, Okiehoma, which is a suburb of Okla. City. I spent some time homeless year before last. I had a conversation with God when that adventure began. I told Him that I would not accept it lasting more than 4 months, but that I had to leave it in His more than capable hands to make that come true. That adventure began on July 5th, and I moved into this HUD apartment here on November 4th. That is exactly 4 months to the day. No one will ever convince me that there isn't a God!

Day after tomorrow will be my 6th wedding anniversary to get through without my wife here with me. There aren't very many triggers for me anymore.  But our anniversary and her birthday in August still mess with me. I spent 2/3 of my life with she and I stuck up each other's "posteriors."  What a blissful 41 years that was. We never grew tired of being around each other. We turned down better incomes just to take the kinds of jobs that allowed us to be together during our work hours. But I now live my life with nobody or thing to share my life with.  We were not able to have children, and she and I both had outlived our parents and siblings.  I had to put my little dog to sleep in mid-October of last year. A double whammy---congestive heart failure and kidney failure---took her really quickly.  So I live the remainder of my time completely alone. But all is good, all things considered. I still have good health. I am able to keep my sanity and my good frame of mind by the sure certainty that my wife and I will re-unite for eternity when my time here on earth comes to an end.

I keep busy working on a non-fiction book that I had kept on the back burner for way too many years. But things happen when they are meant to happen, right?

It's good to be back.

One foot in front of the other...

Darrel

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OMG!  I have been thinking of you recently, it's an answer to my prayer that you found your way back here, @olemisfit as we knew you!  As soon as I saw your new username, I knew exactly who is here!

I am so sorry to hear of the passing of your companion dog, I, too, lost my Arlie 1 1/2 years ago (cancer), it felt akin to losing my George.  For 10 1/2 years he was by my side, went through repeated loss of job and financial woes with me, as well as loss of mom and sister, friends, cats.  He was my perfect dog and it was a very hard loss, as I'm sure yours was.

PTL that you have your own place now!  I can't imagine going through winter homeless.  It's so funny that God answered your prayer in the EXACT time frame you specified!  I think He not only answers but has a sense of humor!

I always loved your signature "One foot in front of the other..."

Good luck on your book!  

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Kay, I had pretty much the same thought about God and the 4 month time frame. I reckon I should've said I only wanted the homeless gig to last one month.  I kept the 4 month time frame on my mind and thought about it intensely every day. I didn't know how the homeless gig was going to end, I just had total faith that it would. When my wife met me I was a terribly negative person. And a chronic worrier. I worried myself into a bleeding ulcer at the ripe old age of 15. But shortly after we got married, my wife took me to a B Dalton bookstore and we bought every positive thinking book in that store. And she made me read every one of them. And she converted me. That is what the book I'm writing is going to be all about.

I could talk about it for hours, and bore everybody to tears. lol

 

One foot in front of the other...

Darrel

 

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Darrel, so good to hear from you and glad that things are on the upswing. I was wondering if you were still in the Galveston area. Guess you are an Okie at heart though.

I'm so sorry about your little dog. I know she was a comfort to you. Any plans for a new fur baby in the future?

I hope times continue to improve for you. Stay in touch when you can.

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16 hours ago, Olegeezer said:

we bought every positive thinking book in that store. And she made me read every one of them. And she converted me. That is what the book I'm writing is going to be all about.

I could talk about it for hours, and bore everybody to tears.

No, it isn't boring, it's wonderful, she had a great influence on your life!  I'm all about positive thinking but sometimes it's a struggle when it's one bad thing after another.  Just get through today.  I can do today.  That's what I tell myself.

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1 hour ago, kayc said:

No, it isn't boring, it's wonderful, she had a great influence on your life!  I'm all about positive thinking but sometimes it's a struggle when it's one bad thing after another.  Just get through today.  I can do today.  That's what I tell myself.

Kay, what you do is really all any of us can do. Tomorrow never exists until it becomes today.  I've always valued the following quote from Henry Ford..."if you think you can do a thing, or if you think you can't do it, you are right." We all shape our destiny one thought at a time. And we have absolute control over what we think. When you feel any kind of negative on your mind, replace it with a positive one. It's totally impossible to think about both at the same time. And try to find a way to share a smile with the world every day. As my grandmother used to say...it takes fewer facial muscles to smile than it does to frown. Have a terrific day, Kay.

One foot in front of the other...

Darrel

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6 hours ago, Olegeezer said:

When you feel any kind of negative on your mind, replace it with a positive one. It's totally impossible to think about both at the same time

I have to disagree as my brain is at war all the time with those.  I can see a positive with the negative as I look at things as a whole, cause and effect basically.  Like this back surgery I’m supposed to have, I see the possibility of less pain, but also the gamble and months of pain and rehab to find out.  And once it’s done, it’s done, no take backs.  

All in all, positive thinking is definitely a good thing.  There are times, tho, that reality clashes with it and no amount of it will help change a bad situation.  If that were true, grief would be easier to handle.  

I know there have been times I lived in pessimism when I didn’t have to.  Luckily my counselors helped with that.  But there do come times that are so utterly overwhelming that it can make someone feel invalid for not putting/finding a positive spin.  I am in one of those times.  I just don’t want to diminish that people wind up in horrible situations that warrant feeling totally defeated.  Doesn’t mean it will last forever, but it’s part of the human experience too.  I watch the news of people in the wake of the recent storms losing everything.   Grateful for help, but inside they are crushed.   

I don’t mean to be argumentative.  I just sometimes feel this positivity thing is cookie cutter pander when people really need to express their pain.  And some days one foot in front of the other is hard if not impossible.  Be it physically or mentally.   

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I keep trying, it's all any of us can do!

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I don't know about perfect but I'm still here!  You too, you've survived a LOT!

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