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lost my angel 3/3/21


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Taki, my cat of 2 years, died on the 3rd of March 2021. He died a few weeks after being diagnosed of an enlarged kidney. We took him to 3 different vets, and the 2 vets that we took him to kept saying he was fine, that he was acting irregularly only because of a tick infestation in his ear. 


When the third vet told us that he was likely going to die in 6 months, me and my mom were devastated, but we still had hope for our little furbaby. He was really weak and couldn't even walk without collapsing every few steps. 


We made him wear a diaper because he didn't want to go to his usual litterbox and was urinating more than usual. His body temperature was dropping rapidly and he kept going to hide in our bathroom because it was cool and I knew from our vet that this behaviour was due to hypothermia. He wouldn't eat anything we gave him either, and it only made matters worse. 


The vet suggested we take him back for IV fluids every 2-3 days and to force feed him at home using an injector. He was already only skin and bones by the time of his second fluids visit. 2 days before his death, I managed to get a bit more food than usual into him because he was behaving so nicely, and I was so proud of him and happy, thinking that I'd see him walking again soon (even if its not forever, but 6 months is still so much more than enough considering his current state). He'd meow at me very loudly for food, (which is very unusual of him because he wasn't a very talkative cat) and it gave me so much hope. He'd ask for his favorite snack every morning to my mom (it was a liquid churu snack) and I was very happy to know he was still excited for his snacks. 


On the morning of his death, he didn't go to my mom for his usual snack. Didn't seem interested in it either when my mom offered it to him. He only stayed in his bed. When I woke up and got out of my room, Taki was already lying dead in front of my room. I couldn't do or think about anything. His body was really cold and rock solid, almost like a statue. His eyes were blank and open and his mouth was ajar. It was a dreadful sight. 


His body was so stiff that I couldn't even close his eyes when we were about to bury him. So we decided to just wrap his body in a cloth and buried him in our backyard. My mom and I were too shocked to say anything to each other. 


It's the 12th of March now and the grief is very much still there. My mom and I are still drowning in guilt and sadness. Taki was our very first cat and we loved him to bits. He was a really sweet child, to my mom especially. I still think about how we should've noticed earlier.. and how we should've done more for him after hearing about his condition. 


I miss hearing his quiet meows, petting his soft fur...  and the gifts he'd leave at my front door. I miss my baby, and I regret letting him die the way he did... Cold, alone... In pain. My mind keeps going back to the day I found him dead in front of my room and I keep tearing up everytime I do. I miss him too much and the thought of spending the rest of my life without him by my side pains me. I wish we were given more time with him. It was all too soon.


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I am so sorry for your loss and your pain.  It's so unfair that one die so soon, so young!  I doubt there was anything more that you could have done, that you didn't already try...some are born with things wrong with them and it seems destined for an all too early death, this seems to be the case.  It does sound like he was very, very sick and is now out of his suffering and into his next life that will be kinder to him. 


I hope this short video brings you some comfort and peace.


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