I'm empty and nothing

[Ztyu123]

I just can't crying constantly or I can't stop loving you or thinking about you constantly. Your death has changed me in terrible, soul numbing, non caring ways. If I were sure we'd be together forever in wherever you are now, I would go in a heartbeat now.

Tired of people insisting that you're in a better place and no longer suffering.  They have no proof. But maybe you aren't anywhere better but worse,  maybe you are still suffering somehow. I don't have faith, I have tears.

Your death is the bitterest pill to swallow that I keep regurgitating

[MartyT]

I'm so sorry for your loss, and for the pain and suffering you're experiencing now.

I invite you to read this article, in hopes that you may find its contents helpful: Pet Loss and Animal Communication: Suggested Resources

[kayc]

There is someone named Marg on this forum who talks about her mustard seed faith...if you don't know what a mustard seed looks like, try a poppy seed...they're very tiny, it takes but a tiny bit of will to choose to believe, and our faith grows from there.  No one can prove they aren't in a better place either.  
Perhaps try this?
http://www.griefhealing.com/animal-communicators.htm
See the links following this article:
https://www.griefhealingblog.com/2015/06/pet-loss-do-pets-go-to-heaven.html
You might try this:
We Will See Our Pets in Heaven: The Afterlife of Animals from a Biblical Perspective: Burgess, Brian