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I'm empty and nothing


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I just can't crying constantly or I can't stop loving you or thinking about you constantly. Your death has changed me in terrible, soul numbing, non caring ways. If I were sure we'd be together forever in wherever you are now, I would go in a heartbeat now.

Tired of people insisting that you're in a better place and no longer suffering.  They have no proof. But maybe you aren't anywhere better but worse,  maybe you are still suffering somehow. I don't have faith, I have tears.

Your death is the bitterest pill to swallow that I keep regurgitating

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There is someone named Marg on this forum who talks about her mustard seed faith...if you don't know what a mustard seed looks like, try a poppy seed...they're very tiny, it takes but a tiny bit of will to choose to believe, and our faith grows from there.  No one can prove they aren't in a better place either.  
Perhaps try this?
See the links following this article:
You might try this:
We Will See Our Pets in Heaven: The Afterlife of Animals from a Biblical Perspective: Burgess, Brian

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