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Still cry everyday all day
I changed your linens....

Still haven't been actively outside
1st time since....

The world doesn't need any of us.

The feeling beyond & behind the action is of disgust and betrayal. 

I don't know who, what, or why I am still anymore 

I cradled your linen, careful not to mix tears with the aroma of you. My tears already pungent.

Lost, Lethargic, Numb, incapable of anything  anymore. 

Your liens reek of life.

I sleep all day, trying to slip into the role of nothingness..but this isn't a play

I feel guilty for trying to restrict you through my mouth and nose. So I put you back..carefully. 

I'm alone...

Brought 2 mattress protectors for your bed. Threw them in the trash. They looked like body bags. They're not protectors. You haven't been protected.

 The silence is defeating. Defiant.  Deafening. Destructive.

I put your favorite sheets on, your favorite blankets, your favorite pillow... 

All that's missing is 
My favorite girl. .

I whisper to the trees, I whisper to the air, I whisper to the creators, I whisper to the sky, I whisper to the birds, I whisper to everything but the world how much I miss you dearly.  

The silence is deafening, but I still listen for you anyways. It humiliates me.

This pain and love is forever. 
This pain and love is forever.

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