The yokes on me...forever

[Ztyu123]

Everyday is April fool's  day.
The joke's always on me.

The insomnia....
The sleepless nights....
The wishing...
The praying....
The bargaining....
The endless tears...
The silence....
The loneliness...
The heartbreak....
The desperation...
The separation...
The promises...
The emptiness...
The identity loss...
The constant flashbacks...
The ptsd...
The distance...
The demotivation...
The numbness..
The depression..
The outbursts of tears and anxiety whenever your name is mentioned..
The avoiding....
The  lack of understanding...
The loss...
The lost...
Watching and waiting for you to tell me how to join you..I would go in an instant if I had the directions..
The waking up to a nightmare instead of a dream.
Today it should have only been a dream..Today was the day when it would have been acceptable for the Universe to reveal to me that it was all a bad dream and carried prank from last april 1st. I should have woken up to you here.. 
I don't want to be 
Here.

The waking up.
It fools me every day

[My beautuful Tiger]

Its hard...i know ..

.real hard..each day...every moment...feeling guilty for even smiling....I can kinda relate..no one really understands...it hurts to see life go on around us. I wish I could just be still in time...back to before life was ok with Tiger.

I hope one day you can  feel  a little bit ok...

[kayc]

17 hours ago, My beautuful Tiger said:

feeling guilty for even smiling...

Smile Permission