Missing my best friend :(

[LizLovesAaron4ever]

I lost my best friend on Saturday, 7/2/22. He passed in his sleep, unexpectantly. My friend was there for me when I lost my mom. We met dating, but decided we were better off as friends and our relationship blossomed from there. We both had some shared pain related to past relationships and really leaned on each other for support. We planned to take care of each other in our golden years. I can’t get past not being there for him when he left earth. I feel like I let him down. It’s strange, but the pain feels worse than when I lost my mom. I feel so hopeless. I know it will take time, but right now it’s so dang hard. It comes in waves. 

The hardest thing for me is he’s the one I would call right now to help me feel better. Every time I think “call Aaron” I remember he’s gone. I even feel selfish. I’m not the one who died, why am I complaining. 

Any chance they have WiFi in Heaven? Just in case, I love you Aaron!

[kayc]

I am so sorry you lost your BFF, I understand as my closest sister passed 3/28, also in her sleep, it was a shock.  I took care of her since her husband passed, she was disabled and had dementia, but we'd always been friends/emotional support.  It's amazing how much that means, even though she couldn't "do" anything for me (didn't drive, no longer cooked, etc.)  

When it's your person and they're gone, what do you do?!  That's the dilemma I find myself in, other friends aren't as her, she's been there all my life.

9 hours ago, LizLovesAaron4ever said:

I’m not the one who died, why am I complaining. 

Because YOU are the one left missing him!  My sister's troubles are over, but it feels they transferred to me the day she died.  

Hey, they have better than wifi!  I hope/believe just maybe they can hear/see us sometimes, maybe it just makes us feel better to think that, but I had an experience 13 years after my sweet husband died in 2005...I needed to file soc sec and the lady said I'd only get $250/month!  WHAT?!!!  I worked all my life!  She wouldn't double check, instead leaving me hanging over a three day weekend (I already have anxiety).  That night I was laying on my bed and I felt George's hand on my shoulder/back area...instantly I felt calm peace that lasted throughout the weekend.  I'd know his touch anywhere, he always had that effect on me!   All I know is, somehow he made this happen, I have no idea "how."  Nothing like that before/since, but I proceed on faith, they're there and continue to know and love us even though they can't cross that divide...somehow I have to make it the rest of my life (approximately 40 years without him, it's only 17 down!).  

We continue to miss and love those who were special to us, my husband, my sister, my dog, Arlie, etc.  

I'm sorry you lost your mom too.  I also lost mine (dementia).  

I think Aaron knows you live him!  All that's really happened is their bodies gave out, the love still remains...of course not being able to hear them changes a lot for us and we need that.  But somehow knowing George love/d me more than anything in the world, it carries me all these years without him...it has to.

(((hugs)))
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[LizLovesAaron4ever]

Thank you for the kind words. I'm reaching out to friends and family and trying to keep myself busy, while not ignoring my grief. I know people have different beliefs and even some with same disagree, but I really hope we get to see our family and friends again someday. I know someone who lost her daughter and we were talking when Mother's Day was approaching. She said she asked her daughter to be waiting for her at the gates and her daughter told her "no, momma, I'll be in the fields picking wild flowers for you". 

[kayc]

13 hours ago, LizLovesAaron4ever said:

I really hope we get to see our family and friends again someday.

Hold onto that comfort!  We don't need to understand how it all works, but we need that hope!