Sad_Widower Posted July 24, 2022 Report Posted July 24, 2022 This is for those whose lost a significant other that dealt with health issues. The end result for me is my wife passed away after complications from a stem cell transplant. Below is her unique history: Poked and Prodded When Heslthy. Perhaps it was an omen to come but we had children 19 months apart, and both times she had an emergency c-section. Cervical Cancer When our children were 10 and 11 years old, my wife was diagnosed with stage IV cervical cancer. While I was at work one day my parents called me and said my kids found her barely conscious and they contacted my parents who lived nearby (I worked 1.5 hours away). I’ll never forget when i got to the hospital it was the first time I saw my dad crying. The doctor told me “she was within an hour of losing her life” and my knees buckled. She fought this cancer and after multiple surgeries/hospital stays that went on for years, she started the road for recovery. False Positive When our kids were 13/14, my wife was in her final month of being considered “cancer free”. She phoned me in tears while at work saying they called her and said it was returning and would have to go through additional procedures. Finally Beat It About a year later after going through more procedures/hospital stays she was found to be cleared of her Cervical Cancer. The Celebration Lasted a Week One week later they sent her to a hematologist as they found some abnormalities ones in her blood. Within the a year (after numerous tests/hospital stays she) she was diagnosed with a full blown case of an EXTREMELY rare type of Lukehmia. Rare Can Be Good The good news in the rarity of her type of Lukehmia (we live in Texas and she was the only one in the state currently with it), is that it garnered the attention of the medical community. Initially doctors came to see her. The Best Care Available When our kids were 14/15 we made the decision to send her to the best hospital in the nation for her type of Lukehmia (MD Anderson). For the next few mo thx it was back and forth via flights while she would spend 2-3 weeks in the hospital at a time, fly home for a week, and the fly back for another stay in the hospital. Blessed to Be Eligible for a Stem Cell Transplant. One of the toughest challenges she faced was getting her blood counts to a state where she could be eligible for a Stem Cell Transplant. She had a donor, but required NUMEROUS rounds of chemotherapy. None of them worked. Eventually they told us their was a clinical trial type of chemo she could try. However it was an all or nothing chance. Meaning the effect it would have on her body she could only take it once, and not be eligible for chemo after this. “She will be Dead before Christmas” One thing we learned is that the doctors were extremely blunt with us. To the point while in the hospital she asked me to start taking with the doctors alone with respect to her prognosis. It was early November and the doctor told me that if the chemo did not work, and she could not get the stem cell transplant, she would most likely not make it to Christmas. I did not immediately tel her this. Read below as to why and when I did. Then it Became Serious Fortunately the chemo worked! By this point she had been at least six straight months living at MD Anderson. We celebrated by having a family dinner at the hospital (they have a lot of family services there including mini apartments for families). It was THEN I told her what the doctor told me, mainly so she was prepared to jump right in to the transplant. She told me she sensed it the chemo failed that was it, however was still petrified of having the stem cell transplant. People Don’t Die From Lukehmia Instead they almost always die from the complications of the procedures for it. For those who might not know, stem cell transplants are extremely risky. They broke down the odds to us as such:Survival Rates 1-2 years 70% 3-5 years 50% 5-10 years 30% This was based on people with her type of Lukehmia post stem-cell transplant t. She did not make it a year. After spending 11 months in the hospital, she was cleared to go home (having to fly back to the hospital every two weeks). She was home for four months and just as we thought she was out of the weeds, she got sick and died unexpectedly. I was with her, holding her hand when she passed. A Courageous Person Toward the end, as doctors would learn about her health history, doctors and nurses alike would commend her strength as they stated they had not seen many endure what she had for as long as she did. A Loving Person I used to always tell her there is no way I could endure the things she went though. I was a cheerleader for her and I constantly let her know how proud I am of her courage and strength. One day she stopped me mid-sentence and said “Honey. You would do the same thing I am, you just don’t know it.” She explained, “I’m doing all of this for you, just like you would for us.” So it was her love for her family that gave her the strength to battle what she did. This is one reason I will always cherish her. For those wanting share, I would love to hear about the health issues your significant others might have endured. thanks. 5
kayc Posted July 24, 2022 Report Posted July 24, 2022 What your wife endured is unreal...I have to applaud her (and you) for sticking it out...but then, what choice was there? Any one of us would have done the same to save our spouse' life. But going through it is another matter. Watching my neighbors go through it (him with long haulers Covid, her with cancer of lymph glands and breast) has been eye opening to say the least, I've been there with them every step of the way as I bring my dog to play with theirs...and it's not over yet. 3
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