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Cries of Our Loved Ones


Novi

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I had another STUG (Sudden, Temporary Upsurge of Grief) today and I just wanted to share my experience. 

I like to watch channels on YouTube about supernatural stuff ei: Nuke's Top 5, Slapped Ham etc.. Tonight I put one of these on as I did chores around the house. The first story was some warehouse workers that worked at night time, and one worker caught some strange howling noises on his phone. It was blamed on the lost spirit of a mother looking for her child (there was more to the story but by this point I stopped listening) because the sound that the man recorded was like an instant punch in my gut. I'm a cynic, and I'm not religious so these stories are more for entertainment. I knew the moment I heard the cries that it was an animal in distress, and it sounded exactly like Beck who died over 3 years ago. I have not allowed myself to revisit that day or replay (in my head) the sounds of his cries from the day he died because I know it would be too painful for me, I buried it but today I heard it again. It really rattled me. I miss him so much. 

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OMG, this tugged at my heart, I am so sorry!!

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Thanks Kayc, you are amazing for taking the time to answer so many people on this forum. I know it means a lot to many. 

I did cry a bit that day thinking of Beck. I felt better afterwards. Sometimes it's good to let it out even if you don't see it coming. 

I do feel that Beck is watching over me and Nile. 

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Sometimes it just hits that way.  I've learned to flow with the waves. 

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  • 1 month later...
On 8/16/2022 at 5:02 AM, Novi said:

I had another STUG (Sudden, Temporary Upsurge of Grief) today and I just wanted to share my experience. 

I like to watch channels on YouTube about supernatural stuff ei: Nuke's Top 5, Slapped Ham etc.. Tonight I put one of these on as I did chores around the house. The first story was some warehouse workers that worked at night time, and one worker caught some strange howling noises on his phone. It was blamed on the lost spirit of a mother looking for her child (there was more to the story but by this point I stopped listening) because the sound that the man recorded was like an instant punch in my gut. I'm a cynic, and I'm not religious so these stories are more for entertainment. I knew the moment I heard the cries that it was an animal in distress, and it sounded exactly like Beck who died over 3 years ago. I have not allowed myself to revisit that day or replay (in my head) the sounds of his cries from the day he died because I know it would be too painful for me, I buried it but today I heard it again. It really rattled me. I miss him so much. 

Our animal friends can touch us as deeply as the humans we love.  I assume Beck was a animal friend/loved one.  I hope your are better now.  My thoughts are with you.

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  • 1 month later...
On 9/19/2022 at 4:45 PM, Chocolate said:

Our animal friends can touch us as deeply as the humans we love.  I assume Beck was a animal friend/loved one.  I hope your are better now.  My thoughts are with you.

Beck was my soulmate even though he was a cat. And you're right, the pain of losing an animal vs a human loved one is different but equally painful, at least from my experience, and I'm sure for many others. Thank you, I am better now. It always helps to try and remember how fortunate I was to have Beck in my life. He may have been a rescue animal but it was he who saved me. 

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4 hours ago, Novi said:

the pain of losing an animal vs a human loved one is different but equally painful, at least from my experience, and I'm sure for many others.

I have found this as well when I lost my Arlie, it felt much like losing my George (husband) had been, I think many things affect that, you and your life when you're with them (I'm old, retired, and Arlie was my companion) also how special the animal, Arlie was amazing, so smart, beautiful, sweet, considerate, loyal, and GOOFY!  My amazing trooper!  Going through cancer with him was the hardest thing in the world, to watch my baby go downhill.  George's death was sudden and a shock.  Barely 51.  Arlie I'd hope for 14 years, we got 11 1/2.  My sweet sweet baby.  Plus animals are so loyal and forgiving, you don't fight with them, and they are so devoted every day of their lives!  It didn't affect my finances or social life like my husband's death did, nor the one who would tend to me if need be, but it sure did hit me emotionally on every level.

When Kitty died it was different in that she'd lived such a good long life, she was ready, her kidneys and liver already shut down, she was 25 1/2.  I mourned her but it was consoled with the fact she was ready and everything went so well but with Arlie that wasn't the case.  They botched the euthanasia big time and I'll never forget the look of immense pain that distorted his sweet face!

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9 hours ago, Novi said:

Beck was my soulmate even though he was a cat. And you're right, the pain of losing an animal vs a human loved one is different but equally painful, at least from my experience, and I'm sure for many others. Thank you, I am better now. It always helps to try and remember how fortunate I was to have Beck in my life. He may have been a rescue animal but it was he who saved me. 

My little cat Po sleeps beside me every night and has been a  huge comfort since my husband died.  Among the living, Po is my best friend. I call him my lifesaver. 

 

4 hours ago, kayc said:

 

When Kitty died it was different in that she'd lived such a good long life, she was ready, her kidneys and liver already shut down, she was 25 1/2.  I mourned her but it was consoled with the fact she was ready and everything went so well but with Arlie that wasn't the case.  They botched the euthanasia big time and I'll never forget the look of immense pain that distorted his sweet face!

How an individual dies makes such a difference. 

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22 hours ago, kayc said:

I have found this as well when I lost my Arlie, it felt much like losing my George (husband) had been, I think many things affect that, you and your life when you're with them (I'm old, retired, and Arlie was my companion) also how special the animal, Arlie was amazing, so smart, beautiful, sweet, considerate, loyal, and GOOFY!  My amazing trooper!  Going through cancer with him was the hardest thing in the world, to watch my baby go downhill.  George's death was sudden and a shock.  Barely 51.  Arlie I'd hope for 14 years, we got 11 1/2.  My sweet sweet baby.  Plus animals are so loyal and forgiving, you don't fight with them, and they are so devoted every day of their lives!  It didn't affect my finances or social life like my husband's death did, nor the one who would tend to me if need be, but it sure did hit me emotionally on every level.

When Kitty died it was different in that she'd lived such a good long life, she was ready, her kidneys and liver already shut down, she was 25 1/2.  I mourned her but it was consoled with the fact she was ready and everything went so well but with Arlie that wasn't the case.  They botched the euthanasia big time and I'll never forget the look of immense pain that distorted his sweet face!

When it comes to the loss of Beck I don't have much to compare it to in terms of companionship. While I was close to my mom we didn't see each other every day and the affection wasn't on the same level (actually, my mother didn't show much affection at all until I was in my 20s) And as you said, we don't fight with our animals, the same can't be said for our parents. I feel like I grieve Beck in small increments pretty much on a daily basis, and with my mom the grief is like occasional waves. But those waves are far more intense then the daily moments for Beck, and they seem to hit out of nowhere sometimes.

As for the botched euthanasia, I'm sorry you went through that. I hope that is something I never have to experience.

I'm always astonished when you mention Kitty was over 25 years old... you know that means she was 118 in human years? That's incredible!

17 hours ago, Chocolate said:

My little cat Po sleeps beside me every night and has been a  huge comfort since my husband died.  Among the living, Po is my best friend. I call him my lifesaver. 

Po sounds wonderful. Animals can be such a huge help, it's like they know. And they seem to know just how to help too, while for some people the topic of grief is awkward or even inconvenient for them to try to approach. I started having night terrors after my mom passed away and I remember one specific time I woke up absolutely panicked and terrified. I wasn't even sure where I was... Beck was sitting on top my dresser and he woke, then let out a loud but gentle meow. Hearing his voice just sent this sense of relief over me and I was instantly calm after that. He was such a big help during that time of my life. They truly are a blessing.

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118 is right on!  I found a site that transcribes it:
Cat Years

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6 hours ago, Novi said:

Animals can be such a huge help, it's like they know. And they seem to know just how to help too, while for some people the topic of grief is awkward or even inconvenient for them to try to approach. I started having night terrors after my mom passed away and I remember one specific time I woke up absolutely panicked and terrified. I wasn't even sure where I was... Beck was sitting on top my dresser and he woke, then let out a loud but gentle meow. Hearing his voice just sent this sense of relief over me and I was instantly calm after that. He was such a big help during that time of my life. They truly are a blessing.

Yes, animals seem to know.  Beck sounds wonderful.  You're right about people's responses.  It seems like animals are higher souls than humans are.

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7 hours ago, Chocolate said:

It seems like animals are higher souls than humans are.

I think so. 

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