Our Soulmates Cannot be Replaced

[Boho-Soul]

9 minutes ago, Chocolate said:

I'm not sure what a healing team is, nor do I know what pediatric therapy is.  You certainly are dealing with a lot.  Do you have kids?  It doesn't sound like it.  I read in you profile that you live in Canada, hence the socialized medicine comment.  How long do you think it will be before you return to work? I live in the U.S.. 

The healing team is just what I call it, I see a few people who use different modalities so help me heal. I see a massage therapist who does myofascial massage, a physio therapist who does visceral massage and has a focus on German New Medicine, and I see someone who does craniosacral therapy which helps release trauma. I also see a therapist for complicate and traumatic grief. So ya, I've got a lot on the go.

I have one daughter who is the best, plus a son-in-law and the most joyful 18 month old grandson, Jeremy. He's a bundle of energy and so much fun. My return to work isn't set, but I feel it will be sometime next year. I do miss my job and love what I do. I provide educational-based occupational therapy (OT) in schools. I also have my schooling for speech-language therapy, but primary do OT because I enjoy it more. My focus is working with kids K to Gr 2, but my caseload is mostly the kindergarteners. I told my daughter that I'll have Jeremy therapized and he'll be grade-one ready in kindergarten, lol

[Chocolate]

16 minutes ago, Boho-Soul said:

The healing team is just what I call it, I see a few people who use different modalities so help me heal.

 

Thank you for explaining.  It's good you like your job and are on the mend.  Nice that you have a daughter, son-in-law and grandbaby.  I assume the daughter came from a relationship prior to your last husband.

[Boho-Soul]

4 minutes ago, Chocolate said:

I assume the daughter came from a relationship prior to your last husband.

Yes, my ex is her father. I left due to marital abuse.

[Chocolate]

5 minutes ago, Boho-Soul said:

Yes, my ex is her father. I left due to marital abuse.

That's way too common.  My first husband told me he was God in our house.  If he had been we would have had enough to eat and wouldn't have had to pick up bottles along the road to make ends meet.  He always spent more than we made, and considered the money from my job his.  He had been abused as a child.  My second husband was from old money, and things became awful after he got access to his inheritance from his grandmother and when he became ashamed of me because of crimes my brother committed.  I nearly drown from the mess. I had to drop my masters program to help my parents through it.

[Boho-Soul]

7 minutes ago, Chocolate said:

That's way too common.  My first husband told me he was God in our house.  If he had been we would have had enough to eat and wouldn't have had to pick up bottles along the road to make ends meet.  He always spent more than we made, and considered the money from my job his.  He had been abused as a child.  My second husband was from old money, and things became awful after he got access to his inheritance from his grandmother and when he became ashamed of me because of crimes my brother committed.  I nearly drown from the mess. I had to drop my masters program to help my parents through it.

Yeesh, you've been through a lot too. Hope you were able to return to school and finish your masters. What program did you take?

[Chocolate]

6 minutes ago, Boho-Soul said:

Yeesh, you've been through a lot too. Hope you were able to return to school and finish your masters. What program did you take?

I was getting a masters degree in counseling focusing on gerontology.  I'd start a term. then there would be a trial scheduled.  I'd have to drop out for the term to be with my parents in court.  I'd go down to be with them only to have the trial rescheduled.  By the time it was over I had lost all interest in ivory tower theory.  See, my brother murdered his neighbors, four of them, two of them we knew and had gone to church with when I was young. Once the trial was over and he was sentenced, I did not have the energy to continue. That's when I switched to writing a book about what  it was like to be the family of a killer.  This was in the early 1980s, before the killing sprees had become rampant.  My second husband forbid me to tell his wealthy parents.  As soon as I was together enough I left him, got a job and continued to write.  After the murder story I switched to fiction.

[Boho-Soul]

1 minute ago, Chocolate said:

That's when I switched to writing a book about what  it was like to be the family of a killer.  This was in the early 1980s, before the killing sprees had become rampant.  My second husband forbid me to tell his wealthy parents.  As soon as I was together enough I left him, got a job and continued to write.  After the murder story I switched to fiction.

Wow, and double wow!! That's horrible, shocking, disturbing. Love that you wrote a book about it, must have been cathartic. I'd love to be a writer, I feel I already am. I wrote a book about when I was abducted at 19, it was very healing to write it. I wrote is as fiction because I didn't think anyone would believe the real story.  Sadly, I lost half of it when my computer crashed though, but I will finish it someday. I hope to write another 2 novels based on my life stories. Was your book ever published?

[Chocolate]

1 minute ago, Boho-Soul said:

Wow, and double wow!! That's horrible, shocking, disturbing. Love that you wrote a book about it, must have been cathartic. I'd love to be a writer, I feel I already am. I wrote a book about when I was abducted at 19, it was very healing to write it. I wrote is as fiction because I didn't think anyone would believe the real story.  Sadly, I lost half of it when my computer crashed though, but I will finish it someday. I hope to write another 2 novels based on my life stories. Was your book ever published?

It was cathartic at first.  But I rewrote and rewrote for 10 years.  By then I was grinding in the pain.  I was learning to write, really learning to write.  It takes time and care to get the words to say exactly what a person means.  I started it on a typewriter.  Once I transferred it to a computer, I backed up everything constantly.  Yes, I've been published.  I was on a couple of talk shows, one in New York and on in Toronto.  I've published two book through traditional publishing and 10 myself in digital format.  The last one I wrote I decided was too important to publish myself.  I was looking for another agent when my husband became so ill.  For now that's on hold.

 

[Boho-Soul]

10 minutes ago, Chocolate said:

Yes, I've been published.

What an incredible accomplishment! I totally understand the concept of really learning to write, I love the process though.

Hope you're able to move forward with your latest book when the time is right.

[Chocolate]

3 minutes ago, Boho-Soul said:

What an incredible accomplishment! I totally understand the concept of really learning to write, I love the process though.

Hope you're able to move forward with your latest book when the time is right.

Thanks.  Good luck with your writing.  The process of writing it both wonderful and grueling.  It's 10% inspiration and 90% perspiration.  Right now I don't care if it ever gets published.  I've worked at this for over 40 years.  The best things that have ever happened to be happened when I wasn't expecting them.  For this to work this time, that's what has to happen.  I've released it.

[Boho-Soul]

18 minutes ago, Chocolate said:

Good luck with your writing. 

Thx Chocolate ☺️

18 minutes ago, Chocolate said:

The best things that have ever happened to be happened when I wasn't expecting them.  For this to work this time, that's what has to happen.  I've released it.

I love that 👍🏼

[Chocolate]

14 minutes ago, Boho-Soul said:

Thx Chocolate ☺️

I love that 👍🏼

It's how I met my soulmate.  Maybe it would work for in finding yours.

[Boho-Soul]

1 minute ago, Chocolate said:

It's how I met my soulmate.  Maybe it would work for in finding yours.

Yes, you never know how life unfolds. I believe my late husband was my soulmate for the time I had with him (illness aside). I also believe souls can have more than one connection. It will be different because it will be a different soul, but it can still be a beautiful connection if it happens.

[Chocolate]

4 minutes ago, Boho-Soul said:

Yes, you never know how life unfolds. I believe my late husband was my soulmate for the time I had with him (illness aside). I also believe souls can have more than one connection. It will be different because it will be a different soul, but it can still be a beautiful connection if it happens.

I stand corrected.  I didn't realize you thought of your late husband as your soulmate.  There's another term that is applicable to the relationship I have with my late husband.  It's twin flame.  He is the other half of my flame.  I've loved others very deeply, but my late husband was/is the other half of me.

[Boho-Soul]

4 minutes ago, Chocolate said:

There's another term that is applicable to the relationship I have with my late husband.  It's twin flame.  He is the other half of my flame.  I've loved others very deeply, but my late husband was/is the other half of me.

Yes, I've heard of that term. I wouldn't say Michael was my twin flame, maybe soulmate isn't quite accurate either, it's hard to know due to the way our relationship unfolded. But we did share a deep love for each other before the beast of depression took hold. Maybe my next connection will be a win flame. As I move forward in life I'll wait and see who may cross my path in the future. All I hope for is a deep mutual emotional connection with someone I can share life with.

[Chocolate]

3 minutes ago, Boho-Soul said:

Yes, I've heard of that term. I wouldn't say Michael was my twin flame, maybe soulmate isn't quite accurate either, it's hard to know due to the way our relationship unfolded. But we did share a deep love for each other before the beast of depression took hold. Maybe my next connection will be a win flame. As I move forward in life I'll wait and see who may cross my path in the future. All I hope for is a deep mutual emotional connection with someone I can share life with.

That kind of connection is what I wanted too, and it found me. I hope it comes to you too.

[Boho-Soul]

31 minutes ago, Chocolate said:

That kind of connection is what I wanted too, and it found me. I hope it comes to you too.

Thx so much Chocolate

[Chocolate]

9 minutes ago, Boho-Soul said:

Thx so much Chocolate

You're welcome, Boho-Soul.

[V. R.]

6 hours ago, Boho-Soul said:

provide educational-based occupational therapy (OT) in schools. I also have my schooling for speech-language therapy, but primary do OT because I enjoy it more. My focus is working with kids K to Gr 2, but my caseload is mostly the kindergarteners. I told my daughter that I'll have Jeremy therapized and he'll be grade-one ready in kindergarten, lol

What a lovely job you have Boho, must give you so much satisfaction, I do hope you get back  to helping all those wonderful children very soon. They need you and you must have such a great relationship with them, I'm sure they're missing you. 

[V. R.]

5 hours ago, Chocolate said:

I was getting a masters degree in counseling focusing on gerontology.  I'd start a term. then there would be a trial scheduled.  I'd have to drop out for the term to be with my parents in court.  I'd go down to be with them only to have the trial rescheduled.  By the time it was over I had lost all interest in ivory tower theory.  See, my brother murdered his neighbors, four of them, two of them we knew and had gone to church with when I was young. Once the trial was over and he was sentenced, I did not have the energy to continue. That's when I switched to writing a book about what  it was like to be the family of a killer.  This was in the early 1980s, before the killing sprees had become rampant.  My second husband forbid me to tell his wealthy parents.  As soon as I was together enough I left him, got a job and continued to write.  After the murder story I switched to fiction.

How shocking for you Chocolate , I am ever so sorry you have had to go through this. 

Wishing you all the peace and comfort in the world. 

[kayc]

18 hours ago, Chocolate said:

When you've had the best, the rest would never measure up.

This.

[kayc]

11 hours ago, Boho-Soul said:

Yes, you never know how life unfolds.

For sure!  And I thought my life was colorful!  You two have been through a LOT!  I have to hand it to you both, you are survivors!  And congrats both of you on being writers!

[Chocolate]

11 hours ago, V. R. said:

How shocking for you Chocolate , I am ever so sorry you have had to go through this. 

Wishing you all the peace and comfort in the world. 

Yes, it was horrendously shocking.  But one of the things I've learned is that the worst things that happen can provide the best growth, if we look at it that way. Thank you.

[Chocolate]

5 hours ago, kayc said:

For sure!  And I thought my life was colorful!  You two have been through a LOT!  I have to hand it to you both, you are survivors!  And congrats both of you on being writers!

Thanks.

[Boho-Soul]

7 hours ago, kayc said:

For sure!  And I thought my life was colorful!  You two have been through a LOT!  I have to hand it to you both, you are survivors!  And congrats both of you on being writers!

I thank you too. When you go through big life events sometimes all you want is for someone to acknowledge that is some capacity.