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Anticipation In Losing My Dearest Friend


STARKISS

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Hi my name is Shelley, and last year I suffered the deaths of my parents. That is not why I am here I am here because I need help in finding away to help me deal with the death of my beloved friend in this world. Her name is Chelsea and she is a yellow lab, she is seven years old and I feel I am going to lose her soon. I had her since she was a puppy at 5 weeks old, due to the recent passings of my dear parents I had to give her to my brother to raise. I feel I have let her down and that I am dying a little at a time because I can not be with her every day like I used to be able too. I find myself wondering how horrible it will be when she does die and I can not be with her when she does. She must feel that I do not love her anymore and this tears me up inside and I really need help so I can help her understand that I really do love her and that I will always love her. Please if you can I really really need help thank you all

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Shelly, I have lost several pets over the years, and it is never easy. I don't have all the answers, but I know this. Chelsea knows you love her, pets have an uncanny way of knowing things that we think is inpossible. You have not let her down, if because of circumsatnces you had to let her live with your brother, you were doing the best thing for her to give her a better life. Anytime you can do that, you are not letting them down. The let down would have been if you kept her and weren't able to give her attention, or she would have only seen you for 1 hour a day and so on. I am sure that your brother took very good care of her and is meeting her needs otherwise you wouldn't have entrusted him with her. She knows that you love her and would be with her if you could. If it helps, just pray that she knows that and God will take care of it. I will pray for you during this diffucult time, I feel that prayer does wonders. Visit the loss of pet forum often, you will find a lot of the answers you are looking for and it will help. God bless you and keep you.

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Thank you so very much dpodesta, You are such a wonderful and caring person you do not know how much your kind words make me feel much better. Thank you for praying for me and I hope if anytime you need someone to listen I will be here for you. I will also pray for you at anytime you need me too. God Bless you and keep you Shelley

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Shelly,

My name is Carol, my Father passed away May 8th of this year after a lengthy existance with Alzheimer's. My cat Muki, an amber point Himalayan, who is 19, and suffers from renal insufficiency. I have experienced anticipatory grief, it is never easy. Take heart, Chelsea knows that you love her and I am sure that you gave her to your brother with her best interest at heart. Trust that you made the best decision for Chelsea and yourself. Take comfort knowing that myself and others are thinking of you and praying for you at this difficult time.

Carol

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Hi Sunstreet,

I am sorry very sorry for your losses, I am a great pet lover and when I hear that a pet is hurt or dying I get very emotional. I hope that the time you have left with your cat will be extra special. I know my dog Chelsea is just like having a baby. So I can imagine that is how you treat your cat. I know it is hard to lose a pet but know that they will see you again. I know Chelsea is happy but it still hurts leaving her where she is. Take care Sunstreet and I will pray for you and your cat God Bless You, Shelley

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  • 9 months later...

Hi All,

I am still here and wondering where I will be when the phone call comes in that Chelsea died... I do not know if I told many of you but the last time I was visiting her I noticed a lump on her leg... Now I am wondering if that has any health problems associated with it or not... I just want to be with her so she will not be alone when she does die is that too difficult to understand well my siblings think it is silly and think I am nuts... What do you think!!!!!!!!!!!! Shelley

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Hi Shelly,

I do remember you talking about Chelsea's lump. Did your brother ever take her to the vet? I know that you feel guilt, but I agree with the others here who say that you did what was best for her at the time, and I also believe that she understands that somehow. And I know she can feel your love every time you visit her. I understand your anticipatory grief, as I have experienced it myself, esp these past 2 years with all my losses. No one here thinks you are nuts for wanting to be with her when she dies. It is totally understandable. I am sorry that you are having trouble conveying your feelings to your brother, but hopefully you can make him understand that no matter how he feels, it is very important for you to be there, if at all possible. I'll keep you in my thoughts.

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Hi Shelley,

Many years ago I had a dog put to sleep and I regret the way I did it. I just took her to the human society, gave her to a stranger and said that she need to be put to sleep. I took this dog that I had raised from a pup and loved dearly, put her in a strangers arms asked for her to be put to sleep and walked away. I left her in the last moments of her life alone with strangers. That was 19 years ago and I still feel bad and remorseful about it to this day.

Go be with your friend, who cares what anybody else thinks. When I put Montoya to sleep recently I didn't think twice about being there for her. She had been there for me many times. It was the least I could do for her. I talked to her as her eye lids got heavy from the affects of the tranqulizer and I watch her breathing slow after the vet gave her the final dose. I rubbed head as her breathing stopped. I kissed her head, said "Namaste" and "I'll see you later" and "I love you". I asked the vet to let me help him with her body. I covered her body with the blanket that he used after we put her body on the (stretcher/transporter) he used. I helped carry her to his pickup and said goodbye one last time.

It wasn't easy but I feel satisfied that I did the best I could for her that day and during the previous week. I took off from work and did the best I could to be with her and nursemaid her. I don't reget any of it. It was the least I could do for her as well as for the memory of Princess, the dog I put to sleep 19 years ago.

I know your situation isn't the same but try not to let something happen that might haunt you later in life. Be with your friend if you think it's best for you as well as your friend.

Take care, Steve

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