My Son Drowned

[drtondalia]

Hi All,

I lost my son this last father’s day. We were on the beach in Ocean City NJ. I take my children to this beach almost every weekend in the summers. I would have never thought in a million years that I would leave that beach with one less child. I had four children that morning; three boys and my baby girl. Quran was the middle of the three boys. I tried to save him but I just couldn't get to him. The water was too strong. I feel like I failed my son. I feel like I took him there and let him die. I do think it is my fault. I go over and over in my mind about how I should have run faster, swam faster. But the end result is that I can not fix this. I feel hollow. There is a pain and a void within me. It is a pain that I can't put into words. I just know that it starts in my center and radiates. I miss hearing his voice. I keep trying to replay it in my mind. I constantly look at pictures of him. At times, I can't stop crying. I miss him so much.

[dpodesta]

First of all, I am so sorry to hear of your loss. Second, I know it is hard to do, but don't blame yourself for this. You can only do so much it that type of situation. For reasons that we may never know, things like this happen no matter how watchful we are. Unfortunately a lot of people get stuck in the "What if's". You didn't fail your son in any way, please remember that. You will feel hollow for awhile, but it will get better. Find a support group in your area, this will give you a group of people who have had the same things happen to them and will give you some face to face contact. Keep coming to this site, there are a lot of kind caring people that are willing to do anything they can to help you and listen to you and pray for you. I live in Texas, so I can't do anything physically for you, but I can pray for you and listen to you when you feel you need someone to talk to.

[STARKISS]

Hi drtondalia,

I agree with dpodesta, I took live to far away to help you deal with your loss but I will certainly pray for you and you can email me if you need to talk or just have someone caring to listen too. Take care of yourself and try not to blame yourself God bless you Shelley