Devasting News About My Dear Dog

[avsqr_dancer]

Today I got devasting news about my dear dog, Tawny. She is only a year and a half and the vet said she is suffering from kidney disease. She is there (at vet's) now and they will try IV fluids and other meds to try to get her numbers down, but the vet is very doubtful it will work. Even if it does, it may only be a temporary solution. He said if it doesn't work (as he suspects that it won't), she will probably die within a week. So he recommends putting her down so she will not suffer.

I am a wreck. I cannot believe this is happening and I cannot stop crying. I have another dog, Tanner, from the same litter. It is possible this problem is genetic, although no way to know. So now I worry about him too. I'm sitting at home trying to be upbeat for him, but like I said all I can do is cry.

In this past year, I have lost both of my parents-only 7 weeks apart and my brother-in-law who was only 55, and now this. I just don't know how I will get through this.

Please any words of help that you can offer would be greatly appreciated. I also feel like I have failed my dog somehow.

Final decision is if I do have to put her down, should I be with her. I don't know if I can do that, but if there is anyone who has done so, please give me your feedback.

Thanks for listening. I have no children, so these 2 precious dogs ARE my kids and now I am facing the loss of my precious baby.

[dpodesta]

I had a german shepard that we had to put asleep due to old age, and there wasn't anyway I could have been there when they did it. We also had a cat that kept getting absests, for him I did go to the vet to say goodbye, but I still could not be there. I have heard on another post where someone was with their pet when they put them alseep. So I believe it should be based on how you think you can handle it.

As far as letting your pet down, that didn't happen, see the post that I posted titled "Guilt" in the Loss of Parent/Grandparent Forum. I think it applies for pets as well. You are doing everything in your power to take care of your fur babies you haven't failed them in any way.

Pray to God to give you the peace to handle this, and he will give it to you, maybe not right away, but it will come. I am so sorry that you are having to deal with so many losses in such a short period of time. I will keep you in my prayers and keep me posted on how things turn out.

[MartyT]

My dear Dancer,

I’m so very sorry to learn about your beloved Tawny, and I can only imagine how devastating this news must be for you, especially since your two precious dogs are litter-mates. How could you not help but worry about Tanner, too?

I too have faced the horrible situation in which you find yourself now, struggling with the euthanasia decision, and I know (both from my many years of listening to the stories of other animal lovers in the support groups I facilitate, as well as from my own experience with my cherished Muffin) that for most of us, this is a very god-like decision. For most of us, this amounts to deciding whether we should or should not take the life of a beloved family member, and it engenders an enormous amount of uncertainty and guilt.

I have written a number of articles about this that you may find helpful; you’ll find three of them by clicking on the titles I’ve listed below. You’ll also find many excellent articles by other authors on this same topic on my Web site’s Pet Loss Articles page. Reading such articles will give you a better sense of what your options are, before you decide what you're going to do about Tawny. Keep in mind, too, that you and your husband must decide what is best for you and your dog. This decision belongs to you alone, because you are the ones who know yourselves best, and you are the ones who must live with the consequences of your decision.

In the meantime, please know that you are not alone in this; we are right here beside you as you face whatever lies ahead.

Anticipatory Grief

Sorting It Out: Spiritual Beliefs about Death and the Afterlife

Exploring Questions about Euthanasia

Wishing you peace and healing,

Marty T

[STARKISS]

Hi avsqr_dancer,

I am so very, very, sorry to hear about Tawny, I have lost many dogs and other pets and I can not even imagine and agony that you must be feeling now. I just wish I could reach out and give you a big hug but since I can not I will pray and pray again for both you and Tawny to ask God to give you both strength to carry on the journey. Take care and I will keep praying for you and you will be in my thought Shelley

[shell]

Dancer,

I lost my dad, my uncle, my moms cousin, a close family friend, and one of my cats (they are my children too) in two and a half months. So, I know how you feel. I have always been there when they were put to sleep (I've had many, many animals). It is heartbreaking, to say the least, but, for me, I had to be with them until the end. One thing you might ask your vet about is giving them a sedative beforehand, so that you can be there, but you can say your goodbyes before the actual euthanization. Given the right sedative, they won't know you're gone and it may help you to see them so peaceful. My heart goes out to you, truly.

Hugs,

Shell

[STARKISS]

Hi Shell,

I do not know if I said this to you all ready but Here it goes, I am so very, very sorry for all your losses. I can not imagine how I would handle it if I were in your footsteps. I can only help by saying that I will pray for you and keep you in my thoughts and prayers for as long as it takes. My mom died in April, My parrot died in June, My dad died in August, I lost my job in October and I changed my address of my childhood home that I lived in for forty years in November all of the year 2005. I know that they are all not real life deaths that I suffered so I can not really compare to what you went through so I will pray for you and with God's hands help you get through all of this. Take care Shelley

[avsqr_dancer]

I just wanted to thank all of you who have responded with such caring and understanding. Marty, I already read some of the articles you suggested and plan to read more of them.

Tawny is still at the vet and we are hoping for some news-GOOD-of course by this afternoon.

I am trying to focus on other things, including my precious other furbabies, Tanner, and my cat, Scooter. But it is very difficult. Tanner can tell something is wrong, but of course, he doesn't know what.

I am feeling the same kind of intense fear and intense pain that I felt the week before my father died. I had to end up making a similar decision for him, when I told them no more extraordinary measures. I was able to say goodby to him, but I could not stay to watch him die. But although he was unconscious, I believe he heard me tell him it was okay to leave and be with mom, as he died a few hours later. And he looked more peaceful than he had all week.

Of course I am hoping for a far different outcome for my dear Tawny. But if it has to be the same, I will do what I must do so that she will not suffer needlessly. Thank you for the suggestion of the sedative. I think I will want to say goodby, but I do not want to upset her so that might be the best option. Again I get ahead of myself since we still do not know how the IV meds and fluids are working.

Thanks for your prayers and please continue to keep her in your prayers.

Serl

[STARKISS]

Hi avsqr_dancer,

I will continue to pray for both of you in hopes that Tawny gets better and to give you the strength for you both to go on. So not to worry I will keep you in my prayers. Take care Shelley

[dpodesta]

I have also been keeping you and Tawny in my prayers. Let us know as soon as you know something. God will give you the peace to make the right descision if the time comes. Tawny knows how much you love her.

[lorikelly]

I will keep you in my prayers. I work at a vet so i have seem many animals euthanized including my own. i must tell you that it a very peaceful procedure and i believe that it is the one last thing we can do for our furbabies so they don't have to suffer. Maybe you won't have to do this. Iv fluids can help alot with meds. Maybe she will be able to come with fluids and you do them at home. it is not hard and it helps flush the kidneys out. Why is she so young with kidney problems? Maybe it is just infection , check with your doctor. As for being with her , i am always with mine but i think it is very personal and only you can make that decision. i just want you to know it is not painful and a sedative should be given before. pls keep us posted . I will pray to St. Francis for you.

[avsqr_dancer]

The vet just called and the news is bad. Tawny's bloodwork is not any better. Although he will do one more test this afternoon, he does not expect it to be any different. He is recommending that we euthanzize her. We don't know what caused this in a dog so young. He is the second vet we took her to and the diagnosis was the same. Her kidneys are just too far gone to do anything. It is not an infection because there are no infection markers.

I am in so much pain now that I can hardly breathe. We will do what is best for Tawny and I do trust this vet-he comes recommended highly by a few people. I don't know what is best for me-I just don't think I can be with her. I am so upset and only stop crying for a few minutes at a time. Although I want to say goodby to her, I do not want to upset her anymore than I already have.

My DH will be home in a bit and we will make the decision together. I guess the only decision left is whether or not to say goodby.

That is it for now.

[dpodesta]

My heart goes out to you, and I will pray for you. I understand how you feel about saying goodbye. That would be a tough descision for me also. What ever you decide, remember this, Tawny knows you love her and knows that you took care of her and there isn't anything you could have done any better. I know right now that this is easier said than done, but, don't have any guilt or regreats about your descision. Be strong and know that God is carrying you right now. I pray thaat he give you the peace that only He can give. You have a tough weekend coming up. God I pray that you will help avsqr_dancer through this weekend.

[avsqr_dancer]

Thank you, Derek for your kind and comforting words. I love her so much and she loves us so much. I know that I will feel better in time. But you are right, the weekend will be very hard and the pain is just overwhelming right now! I am also praying for the strength to get through this. I know I can. I am very strong and have been through a lot. But I just want this horrific pain to go away.

[STARKISS]

Hi avsqr_dancer,

I am so very sorry to hear the news about Tawny. I was so hoping that with all the prayers Tawny would be getting better. I think saying good bye to a beloved pet is one of the hardest things that you have to do. I know when I found out my parrot Shamrock was dying I could not make myself do it. my pet Shamrock was not in any pain so I decided to take him home and before the night was over my poor little Shamrock had passed away. I know that in your case your beloved Tawny is in pain and the best thing for her would to put her to sleep but knowing it is the best thing does not make it any easier does it? Take care and I will continue to pray for you both. Shelley

[dpodesta]

I know avsqr_dancer,

It would be so much easier on all of us if we didn't have to feel this intense pain. I wish there was a majic pill or potion that would take all of the pain away. As I type this I imainge how you are feeling and what you must be thinking right now. I can feel some of the pain from the times I had to put a pet down, and I remember what is what like although it has been a long while since I have had to do it. I think of the intense pain I felt when Karen died and how I wished a year would just past by in span of a second so I would already be throgh this with the memories intact. Unfortunately we can't do that. All we can do is live one day at a time feel the feeling and try to go on with our lives. As you said you are strong, you realize that and that will help you to keep going. You will always have Tawny in your heart, and in that she lives on in you. You will never forget her and you will always love her. One day you will wake up and realize that it has been several days since you felt the pain and you will know that you are getting better and coming out of the fog that you are in right now. I will continue to pray for you and you will get through this.

Feel free to come and talk any time.

[shell]

avsqr_dancer,

I am so sorry. I have had two cats with kidney failure. I want to agree with lorikelly. It is a very peaceful experience and I think of it as the last gift we can give them. But, of course, it is an individual decision. I just wanted you to know that it won't be anything painful or horrible for your beloved Tawny. And if you have to have her put to sleep, be prepared to have your other babies comfort you. They are so wonderfully intuitive and will be there for you. I probably don't have to tell you that! My thoughts are with you, it is a very hard time.

Hugs to you all, Shell

Shelly,

What I have been through is no worse than what you have been through. I have told you before how I just couldn't imagine all that you have gone through, with having to leave your home and everything else. I really admire how well you have handled it.

Hang in there, and hugs to you too,

Shell

[avsqr_dancer]

Thanks again for all of you who responded in support and understanding. But I have some amazing news. We did not have to put Tawny down last night after all. When the vet called yesterday afternoon to his complete surprise, her numbers were down about 20 points. Then when he called us again this morning, her numbers had dropped another 20 points. Now she is far from out of the woods yet and her numbers are still critical and way too high, but the vet says he is "cautiously optimistic." She will remain at the vets all weekend and continue her treatment. I'm trying to stay in the moment and not be too negative, but also not be TOO hopeful, because I don't want to feel horribly let down again. And like I said, she still has a long road ahead of her. But the vet also said she is still eating and drinking and not throwing up-more good signs. He said she is indeed one strong little girl.

So please continue to keep her in your prayers. I won't know anymore until Monday when the vet will call. I will update you then. It is just so nice to have other animal lovers who understand the depth of my feelings. My husband is sad because he loves her too, but he is not taking this nearly as hard as I am.

[STARKISS]

Thanks,

For keeping us updated and of course we will still pray for you both. Please let us know when you find out and more. Take care and God bless Shelley

[dpodesta]

Wow, what a testament to what prayer will do. She is a strong dog who is willing to fight for her life!! This is exciting news, I will keep praying for you all.

[avsqr_dancer]

Thanks again for all your prayers. Yes, Tawny is a strong dog. That is what the vet said too. I think he is truly amazed by the progress she has made so far. I also think she knows how much we love her and need her and she doesn't want to leave us yet. Like I said she is far from out of the woods yet, and I am still very scared, but I am encouraged by her progress and I too am continuing to pray.

[Maylissa]

dancer,

YEAH for prayers!! ( hey, they've now been scientifically shown to work ) It's so good to hear Tawny's doing better! Even if you will end up having to manage kidney damage for her, you'll get through that, cuz at least she'd be home with you again. It's possible that this may have been caused from antifreeze poisoning or something similar, and if so, I'd like to tell you that our next-door neighbour's cat had something like this happen to him, and that was about 5 years ago and he's still here...his vet didn't think he'd make it at the start, either. I'll be continuing to pray for Tawny and you, too, as the more prayers, the better! (((((((hugs))))))))

[avsqr_dancer]

Thank you Maylissa both for your prayers and your encouraging news about the cat. The vet also said it could have been due to antifreeze poisoning, although we can't imagine where/how she got into it, but anything is possible.

I'm still very scared because I won't really know for sure until tomorrow (at least I think that will be the telling day), but I am hopeful because of the improving numbers. All I want is to be able to take her home and I will do whatever I need to keep her as healthy as possible for as long as I can.

One step at a time. Her numbers still need to go down more, but of course that is what I am praying for now. I'll update you all as soon as I know something.

Again it is nice to find fellow animal lovers who understand the depth of my feelings!

[STARKISS]

Hi Dancer,

Thank you for keeping us All updated, and I will send you both a great big hug. Good luck and I hope Tawny will be home with you very, very soon. Take care and God Bless You both Shelley

[avsqr_dancer]

Still no news and this waiting is total agony. I only know the vet said he'd call some time today. He never said when. So I try to keep myself and my mind busy, but it is near impossible. Earlier I was playing ball with my other dog, Tanner, but he tuckered out even before I did.

So nothing to do but continue to wait and to continue to prayer and hope.

[avsqr_dancer]

I just heard from the vet and it was the best news!! Tawny's numbers are now at 64 from a high of 159. Normal is about 35-40, so it's not that far off. She is continuing to eat and drink also and exhibiting no signs of illness. So we get to finally take her home this afternoon. The vet will send her home with antibiotics and a special kidney diet. I am so relieved and excited. I do have to bring her back tomorrow to check her numbers once more to be sure the numbers don't creep up without the treatment. Vet says he can't guarantee that either way. So yes, I admit I am a bit concerned. But mostly I feel great and I cannot wait to see my sweet girl again and take her home where she belongs. I can only imagine how excited she'll be when she sees us too.

Thanks once more for all your support and understanding. This is one of the few places that I could find any relief at all from my fear and pain.