Feeling Down

[andrea]

hello im feeling so low today i cant pick myself up. My sister died 3 years ago she was an alcholic she was 30 years old her daughter lives with me. She has been with me for 2 years she is now 12 years old. And recently she has started to play up for me for example she went away for 4 days with her friend and her friends grandparents and she ruined it for every 1 they sent her home early it is getting to the stage were i dont want her here with me she causes so many arguments with my own 2 children and husband. But she my sister daughter and i love her and i dont want her to think im leaving her as well her dad is an alcholic as well and has recently been taking in to hospital and i know this is part of whats going on with her but i cant cope anymore. please any 1 who can give me any advice. I would be truly grateful Thankyou andrea xx sorry for going on

Edited August 7, 2006 by andrea

[STARKISS]

Hi Andrea,

First of all I want to say that I am truly sorry for your loss, second of all your neice is testing you to see if she can drive you away. The best thing you can do for her right now is to tell her you love her and will not leave her. I would ask your doctor for some advice about seeking a family counsellor. I say family counsellor so she does not think you want her to leave and if the family gets involved then she might feel like she truly belongs. I know you both have been through alot and maybe you need each other even if you do not believe it right at this moment. Take care and God bless you both and I am sending you both a great big HUG!!!! I will pray for you both and hopes that with God's help you will have the strength to deal with your grief and be the family you need to be Take care Shelley

[shell]

Andrea,

I totally agree with Shelleys "right on the mark" advice! Hang in there, I know how hard this time is for you.

Hugs,

Shell

[STARKISS]

Hi Shell,

Thank you for your kind words, and I am sending you a great big hug. Take care Shelley

[Paul S]

Andrea:

My amateur psychoanalyst thinks that maybe she's still upset over her Mom's death and is taking it out on you. That fact that she's dangerously close to that scariest of ages (BEING A TEENAGER) and doesn't have her Mom around to guide her through it?

I'm not sure what to do about it except maybe talk to her about her Mom? The stuff you two (you and your sister) used to do together? That you're not really replacing her Mom and that her Mom isn't forgotten?

Paul

[STARKISS]

Hi Paul and Andrea,

I agree, I think that she needs to know that no one is trying to replace her mom and that her mom did love her so very much. Keep the communication open and having a good listening ear as well. Take care and I will continue to pray for you both as well as your families Shelley