Loss Of My Mother

[carleen]

I was the sole caregiver for my mother for 5 yrs.I sold my house and moved in with her.I have a sister and she only lives 2 miles away. After my father died in 1993 my sister had her teen son and daughter move in with mother.I worked so I was not able to be there as much as my sister and her kids.my sister doesn't work. They started to alienate me from mother and I couldn't understand why.I would ask mother but she acted afraid to talk about it.In 97 my sister's family went on vacation so mother came to stay with me. This is when I found out that my sister had mother to mortgage her house to pay off my sister's debts.All of mother's saving was gone and she was legally blind so she couldn't see to sign anything.I got a lawyer and got mother out of this abusive situation but it was to late mother had nothing left.I moved in and quit my job to take care of her.mother fell and broke her hip 2/03 and only lived 5 mos.I was with her 24/7 and now the grief has consumed me.I have major depression and agoraphobia.I can't see a future for the fog.

someone please tell me how to continue! carleen

[bobsgal]

Dear Carleen,

I wanted to drop you a note to let you know that you are being heard tonight. You have made the first step in continuing on, by reaching out here and telling your story of your mom and your loss. I have not lost my parents, but lost my husband to a sudden heart attack 8 years ago.

You have a life history with your mom, that no one can ever take from you, but you also have the hard thoughts and feelings about your sister to work thru. My heart and prayers go out to you at this time. Keep reaching out. Talk about your mom, and the loss of her. Talk about what is frustrating you with your situation.

Some people find that keeping a journal helps, others find that writing to groups such as this helps. Bottom line, do what ever you have to do to get some comfort. There are many out here who understand your pain. Being a caregiver is a job, and when your mom passed your job was no longer necessary. I would imagine that there is grief related with that as well as the death that you are having to deal with.

Sending you warm hugs to wrap yourself in when the grief becomes more than you can bear. Keep breathing Carleen, one moment at a time. Know you have others here who are listening and supporting you.

Love and Blessings,

Lynda (bobsgal)

Our Story

[carleen]

Lynda,

Thank you so much for your reply. It means so much.

I am so sorry for your loss 8 yrs. ago. It is so nice to know that they're people such as your self that will reach out.

Carleen

[SAO]

I too have just lost my Mother. She died February 1st. My father died (after suffering for 6 months) October 2003. My Grandfather died January 1st and then... then when I thought things couldn't get worse... Mother died Feb. 1, 2004. This one was a shocker. I too can't seam to move on.