Jump to content
Grief Healing Discussion Groups

My Father Died And I Feel Guilty


Recommended Posts

Thanks Shell,

I just read it, and it's right on the money. Also crying a lot helps a little. Yesterday, I remembered something really cruel I said to my dad a year ago, and I cried and cried for like 1 hour, my husband thought I was having a nervous breakdown, but I felt better later on. :rolleyes:

------------------------------------------------------------------------------

My dad lost his youngest brother about 16 years ago. About 5 years ago, he said to me "something strange happened to me. When we were young, I always thought I was better because I was the oldest brother, and one time my little brother wanted to do something physical, and he fell down and hurt his leg, and I wasn't the comforting brother. No, since I was an athlete, I laughed and in a presumptious attitude, I said *well, what did you expect?* I had not given a lot of thought to that but about a month ago my leg started hurting without any logical reason, I didn't fall down, I didn't hit myself, it just hurted. Then yesterday I thought about this episode in our lives, and I said outloud *Kiko, I am sorry I was so presumptious* and instantly my leg stopped hurting, and I am fine now".

Thinking about all the cruel things we did or the good things we did not do while our loved ones were alive, I don't think it is very healthy, but I think it is natural. I hadn't given my father's story much thought until I read your post, and I think it is not too late to say "I'm sorry" if it comforts you in any way. As we tend to say "I love you" or "I miss you" in the middle of the night hoping our loved ones might hear us, maybe saying "I'm sorry" might help us feel better. I think I'll try that tonight.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I had a long talk with my father while he was dying and didn't know if he could hear me or not, but said I was sorry for all the things I thought I should be sorry for and how much I loved him. I hope he understood what I was saying.

I still talk to him all the time now. But I think talking to the person, even after they have left us, is good. Crying is definitely good. Both are like therapy.

Hugs,

Shell

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
×
×
  • Create New...