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How Do I Get Back To "normal"?


jkw

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Kim,

My mom just turned 86. I'm learning to try to stay "positive" and make my mom as happy as possible. Like your mom, mine was so sharp and it is so painful to see her this way. Thanks for talking about it with me. I need all the suggestions I can get to cope with this.

I'm so glad the board has helped you so much and yes, I think you are going down the right path too!

Hugs,

Shell

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Hi Shell,

Your Mom is still young! Nowadays, people are living longer. My Mom was only 73, which was entirely too young to die. She still had a lot of living to do.

My son told me to treat them normally, because if you don't, they may think there's something wrong. So, when they say something completely off the wall, just pretend that it's as normal as ever. It was good advice. It doesn't cause them any undue stress. And they don't think there's anything wrong with them, and that makes their life better. It may drive you crazy, but it makes them feel better!

Take care, and write back soon and let me know how your Mom is doing.

Sincerely,

Kim

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Kim,

Thanks for the advice. That's what I'm trying so hard to do, is just "ignore" what doesn't make sense. The hardest thing is when she gets mad at me for absolutely no reason and starts yelling at me. I know she's "not herself", but it still hurts me so much. It is just an incredibly hard thing to deal with. And I really have no one to talk to about it. My brother says, "Why do you let it bother you?" Duh..... I can't talk to him about it or get any support, so it makes it more frustrating and makes me feel so alone.

Anyway, thanks, it helps to get some feedback from people who have experienced the same thing.

Hugs,

Shell

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Shell

Just wanted to tell you... you are not alone nor will you ever be as long as you are here....

You have gone through so much it just seems so unfair...

You have become such a huge and important part of all of our lives... you support is amazing considering all that you have gone through...

We are all here for you....

thanks

Kim hang in there... I know it must be so difficult especially when your brother just doesn't understand... I know how that is... my brother has grieved for my mom so differently but he has to do whatever he needs to do..

hang in there...

Haley... Oh gosh... I was there when my mom died too... she was in agony and it was such a heart wrenching ordeal.... I begged her to let go... and I keep visualizing that moment and can't get it out of my head.... I wish I could just erase the horror of that time and remember Mom for the beautiful person she was....

I will pray that you be released from that pain...

You are in my thoughts

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Hi Penny and Shell,

I too was right there when Mom died, and when they took her away. I didn't like that one bit! And I keep reliving that in my mind also.

My sister did call me the other day. What a surprise. I asked how she was doing, and she said fine. She never asked about me, and that sort of hurt, but that's OK. Other than that, we never talked about Mom.

Someday, I feel I will get better. I have to. In the meantime, this site is a God send. I don't know where I'd be without it.

And Shell, feel free to talk about your Mom anytime. It may help to get you through the day.

Sincerely,

Kim

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Dear Kim,

I am so very glad you have found this site. I honestly do not know how I would have gotten through the passing of my mom without it. I have even met a woman that I can call a true friend on here, we email back & forth all the time, to help each other get through the rough spots.

NORMAL......well Kim, it has been 3 1/2 years since my mom has passed away, & I still have no clue as to what normal is any more. I have days even weeks that I can not move or function at all, because everything I do reminds me of mom. But I know that she is here with me in spirit, & I know that she needs me to go on & take care of her grandchildren. So Kim, please take your time with all of your greiving, & do not let what others think or say interfear with that. If you ever need a shoulder to lean on please feel free to drop me a line, I will be happy to chat with you a while.

It may sound funny to hear, but Faith (the friend I met here) & I have become personal confidons, & it really helps just to talk with someone who is in your shoes.

I wish you all the best.

Tootie

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