No Reason To Go On

[Dianne]

While it may sound off the wall, have you ever thought of contacting an animal communicator? A few months ago I decided to contact one when the ache in my heart over losing Zephyr was getting to the point that I just didn't want to go out and do things anymore.

I have to say when the communicator was able to contact Zephyr in the spirit world and tell me that he was okay and would be visiting me from time to time it made it easier to go on without him. I have two wonderful dogs that are still with me. One I am sure Zephyr is communicating with. Our pup Cadence. There are times she'll do something that is so like Zephyr that I'm sure he's whispering in her ear. The communicator confirmed the fact that it is Cadence whom he is talking with.

[Maylissa]

Dianne,

No, that's not off the wall at all, as I've used communicators for several years at times. And I actually DID use a different one than my usual for an after-death reading (I didn't want to use someone who already knew much of what had happened, to keep the reading 'purer'), but unfortunately I didn't get much, if anything that was a good validation that it was my girl, nor did the signs mentioned of her presence match up with any of the ones I'd thought she'd sent...so my search is still on for someone better to use...no relief there.

Funny you should mention what happened with yours, though, as I was about to ask you in the other thread if Cadence might actually BE Zephyr, come back to you. But I guess not. However, many, many animals seem to act as willing 'conduits' for our passed loved ones' spirits to 'borrow' for a few moments at a time, in order to let us know that they're still around us, still alive and still in love with us. Nissa did this many times for me, with her brother's spirit.

I don't have that avenue open to me anymore though, as Nissa was our last furchild. I kind of think, though, that she's sending me other grey cats, as there have been a preponderance of them coming into our back yard of late, when for all of the 15 years we've lived here, we'd NEVER seen ANY cats that were grey anywhere in our neighbourhood...nor many other places, actually. Today there was one in the morning, a striped grey one, about the same size as Nissa, which in and of itself is very unusual, as she only weighed around 6 lbs. at best. But he/she was very skittish and ran away just from seeing me through the window. SOOOooooo.....I complained to Nissa that if it really was her sending me these grey cats as comfort, the least she could do would be to send me one who wasn't so darn skittish! Well, later that afternoon, suddenly I looked outside to see what appeared to be a SOLID grey cat (as my Nis' was) sitting on our deck. When he/she turned around, I realized it wasn't entirely solid grey (some white in small parts) BUT, it also was almost exactly her size, just like the first one! And, when I opened the door to talk to her/him, he/she didn't run away!. Although I was on the phone and so couldn't get out there to test the waters further, this cat ended up slowly making its way up to our fence, and then sat in one of Nissa's favourite spots, and the only real one she'd even used this last summer. So...I'm more convinced now that this was a message to me from her...especially since her brother had also sent me a cat (I'm convinced of this one) when he passed, one that looked like an exact cross between himself and his sister, looks-wise, but was black like him, and acted just like him, allowing me to pick him/her up and rub him/her in the same ways, then purred just like Sabin used to, with that purr sounding just like him. So, perhaps Nissa is duplicating what her brother had done for me, as an extra measure that I don't miss this message. I sure hope so, anyway!

Edited October 25, 2006 by Maylissa

[Chrystal]

Hi Maylissa

While I don't know too much about what happened with your little kitty, it really does sound like you made every effort possible to try to have her get better. This is much more than most people would have done. I too am an animal lover, I have three kitties of my own. I worked in a vet clinic for 5 years as a receptionist and think that when it comes to that point when you know your pet won't be getting better the most caring and selfless thing you can do is euthanasia. I really think that one of the dr's would have suggested the homeopathic remedies if they would have been able to help. Good idea talking to them though, then at least youi will know for sure. I have not lost a pet but from working in the clinic have been there for many euthanasia's and have shed many tears over these pets.

I lost my dad on october 7th and he died after 5 days in the hospital. The last few days he was in a coma and was having trouble breathing but it takes time for all the organs to shut down. We all knew he was dying, we just had to sit by his side and wait. I kept thinking I cant believe we let people lay here like this, if this was an animal at the hospital they wouldnt be left to lay there and suffer like that. I really think euthanasia must be the most peaceful way to go.

Have you thought of maybe doing some volunteer work at an animal shelter, or for a cat rescue group? Possibly helping some other unfortunate animals will help you feel a little better? I feed some groups of feral cats, they all come running out when I get there and I find this makes me feel a little better. The cats make me feel like I have a little more purpose, they make me smile for a couple of minutes.

I think it would be great to join a pet bereavement group, then you can talk to other people who understand what you are going through. I know where I live there is a nonprofit organization that has a pet loss support line, your vet clinic may have a phone # for somewhere like this.

I hope talking to the vets will help ease some of your guilt, and don't let anyone make you feel like you should "get over this" quickly, any animal lover will understand that pets are like family. I feel like people are the same with my dads passing, it's been 3 weeks and people seem to think I should be ok already. Sometimes people just don't get it.

Take care Chrystal

[Maylissa]

Chrystal,

Thank you for your kind and understanding words and suggestions. Nissa's story ( her last days ) can be found here: She's Gone

I'm sorry about your own loss ( I've also lost my Mother and brother, and Nissa's brother ) and know what you're saying about euthanisia sometimes being the best perceived alternative and yet not available to humans. It will be a slippery slope, though, since, as Chief Seattle once said, what we do to the animals we will do to ourselves, and everyone knows ( or SHOULD by now! ), that millions of animals get 'euthanised' ( or more properly, killed w/o even being ill or anywhere near death's door ) every single year. I often fear that this tragedy won't even be seen for what it is UNTIL humans are also suffering the same fates. IF, however, euthanasia was used only properly, according to its stricter definition, it would be nice to have it available for humans, too. But I don't hold out much hope for the right attitude to be used.

Yes, I've thought about helping animals in some way and will most likely gear my efforts in making employment for myself towards that, as my life IS animals and animals ARE my life. But I'm clearly not ready yet. I visited a friend's no-kill shelter at her home 2 days ago and it was very hard on me. About 36 cats in total ( plus dogs ), all vying for affection ( which I gave in spades as I was able )...and while I enjoyed their company as much as they enjoyed mine, it made my heart sink as I realized that what was missing was that personal relationship that Nissa and I had. And just this morning, a neighbourhood cat actually came into our house for a visit ( and some food ) and the same thing was most apparent. While I love them all and know it takes time for the growth of a relationship, for now, all I REALLY want is the one I had with my own girl, and HER ways and particular being. So this is a future plan, after my grief has run most of its course. I may still help out at my friend's shelter, but how much or in what way, I'm not clear on. All I know is that I came home very shaken. It wasn't as therapeutic as I'd imagined it was going to be, since I just missed Nissa all the more! ( and I refuse to help at a KILLING shelter, as I don't agree with their principles whatsoever )

As for bereavement groups, our local one is not very good, period. So I've started private counseling instead for now. The downside is that this won't offer me the opportunity to meet other animal-friendly people and perhaps form new friendships for myself, but this group hardly ever meets anyway.

The 'good' news is that a bit of the stuck part of my sorrow has just come out as of last night. Although I felt like both my nose and my heart were going to explode, I was bawling so hard, it was also somewhat of a relief in the sense that THIS was more familiar than the numbness I've been in, more than out of, for the past 2 months. The counselor had just suggested she thought this loss was SOOO huge for me, that it was most likely I WAS in numb mode yet, and not to worry about it. So now it seems there's a small chink in the dam and it's starting to leak. She also thought that there was most likely a much bigger, spiritual reason that Nissa was holding back on giving me visits from Spirit, and that this would turn out to be for my Highest Good in the end. This is what I'd suspected myself, and I don't LIKE it as an answer, so it had just BETTER be right, is all I can say! I just miss my girl so horribly, despairingly much and when the grief comes through, I just feel I can't possibly go on with it.

Edited October 28, 2006 by Maylissa