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Oh, My Precious Mum Is Gone...


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I'm not sure if this will help.... but we will see....

My mom passed (oh man, it's very hard to write that) on February 10th... She was 58, i am 31. I hate writing in the past tense....

A friend recommended this site for me to check out, cause I'm going through an absolutely awful grieving process. I still talk to Mom, everyday, and tell her I love her. She is/was the most wonderful, inspiring, nonjudgemental, caring, loyal, carefree, sincere, loving, non selfish woman I know. I admire her strength and courage to fight that awful cancer she had.... i wish the cancer didn't win. it was too quick too. she got diagnosed in august of last year... and the doctors said she has 1 to 2 years to go..... uggggggggg

I love you Mom! Please give me a sign you are with me one day... and I will patiently await that truly beautiful moment... until then, i will continue to see you in my dreams.....

As the sorrow and pain go on,

Until next time,

Jody

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  • 1 month later...

Jody,

I am so sorry to hear about your mother. Like you I lost my mother, best friend, on march 30,2004 very sudden. She was 52 and i am 25. I have so many questions and yet I know no answers. My mom was the best she was always giving and never asked for anything in return. We talked every night for hours on the phone and right now I could really use her advise on how to deal with this.

Let me know if you want to talk and maybe together we can get through this one day at a time.

Terra

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  • 2 weeks later...

Jody,

This too is my first time ever doing this, telling my story through my keyboard. Feels weird, but if it helps, I'll do it. Your email made me cry, as almost everything makes me cry now a days. My mom died July 29th, 2003. She was diagnosed with stage 4 lung cancer one month before my wedding, 2 days after my 31st birthday. I moved out of state 7 years prior, but still, my mom and I have always had this amazing bond. She was so beautful and loving and well, an angel. We had a hard life together, but, we always had each other. I read this quote somewhere that went something like this, "There is nothing like losing your mother. Who else in your life loves you unconditionally all of the time for so many years". That is so true. I have a loving husband, but it will never be the same. My mother the wind beneath my wings.

I remember getting the phone call. I was in my living room. She told me she had cancer. I dropped to my knees and a part of me died. We still had the wedding, she made sure of that. It was so hard, but at least I had that special day with her. I flew back home as often as I could to be with her. She would never cry, never talk about her feelings, never show me pain. She thought she was protecting me. On July 17, 2003 I got the dreaded phone call. It was my mother, crying for the first time, telling me she was in ICU and didn't think she would make it through the night. I was on a plane 2 hours later. My mom didn't die right away, however, she never left the hospital. I watched my mom die as I sat at her bedside for almost a month. I had the chance to tell her everything I needed to. I helped her write her living will. I helped her plan her funeral arrangements. I watched and held her as she took her last breath. I am so thankful for those moments, but yet, they still haunt me. She was so ill during her last 2 weeks.

It is now almost 9 months later, and it still feels like yesterday. I went back to work too fast. Now, I am paying for that. I have days I can't get out of bed. I have good days to. Everything reminds me of her. I just wish a day would go by where I didn't cry. You see, I am a therapist. I sit and listen to peoples pain everyday. I am able to seperate my pain from their pain, but, as I said, now I am suffering. So, now I have to quit my job and work on me and my grief. I have no idea how I am going to financially survive but, I can't continue on the path I am on. I am pushing people away whom I love dearly. I am now in the process of finding a good grief therapist. I strongly suggest you do the same. When my mom died, I thought, "I am a therapist, I know the stages of grief, I can do this myself." Guess what, I can't, and no one can. So, I pray for me and for you and for all the others, that we find the strength to properly take care of ourselves and find someone gentle and experienced whom can help us through this life changing journey.

Take care of you and continue to ask for help,

Sarah

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