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ON THE 13TH OF FEB I LOST MY HUSBAND, BEST FRIEND AND LOVER. HE HAD SUFFERED FROM STAGE 3 LUNG CANCER SINCE NOV OF 2000 AND WAS TOLD JUST BEFORE CHRISTMAS OF 2003 THAT IT WAS IN REMISSION. THEN ON JAN 25 WE FOUND OUT THAT THE CANCER HAD SPREAD TO HIS BRAIN AND 20 DAYS LATER HE PASSED. I FEEL SO ALONE. WE HAVE 3 WONDERFUL CHILDREN THAT HAVE TRIED TO BE THERE FOR ME BUT IT'S NOT THE SAME. I HAD LEFT THE HOUSE TO GO TO THE STORE AND GOT A FRANTIC CALL FROM MY DAUGHTER WHO WAS EXPECTED OVER THAT DAD WAS LYING ON THE FLOOR. I LEFT THE STORE AND BEAT THE AMBULANCE TO OUR HOUSE TO FIND MY SOUL MATE ON THE FLOOR DEAD. 1/2 HOUR WAS ALL I WAS GONE. I TRIED TO GIVE HIM MOUTH TO MOUTH AND CPR TO NO AVAIL. MY HEART, MY SOUL, MY WHOLE SELF FEELS SO LOST. I TALK TO HIM EVERY DAY AND MISS HIM EVERY SECOND. I FEEL AT TIMES THAT I'M GONG CRAZY. PLZ IF THERE IS ANYONE WHO HAS GONE THROUGH THIS AGONY PERHAPS WE CAN TALK. MBK

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Hi MBK. So sorry for your loss. This site ahs helped me through some of the worst days of my life.

I lost my wife on 1/14/04. She had diabetes. Went into the hospital in November for symtoms of what they did not know. 3 months later she is now gone from sight.

I feel as though I can not go on. But at the same time I know in my heart she would want me too. I am unemployed at this time. But I know God will come through for me like he aways does.

The only really good advice I can give you at this time is too keep taking to people post on this site and others. There is a lot of support out there let thrm help you through this. Post often don't keep anything in. If your like me there is not one day that goes by with me crying and missing my wife so much. But today is the 7th week to the day that she left this earth. The pain is still so fresh and raw, but I tell others how I feel, either by posting heer or other sites and read what others have posted. Another good site is www.groww.com they have chat rooms as well. and that helps me. Aslo www.healingafterloss.org

Take care remember to breath and eat and try and sleep....Don

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Dear mbk, I share a very similar experience. My husband came home from the hospital following a very "successful" cancer surgery and died 3 days later of a heart attack. He and I, even though I am a nurse, didn't realize he was having chest pain due to the extent of his surgery; so I add a whole bunch of guilt to the pain as well. He was here one minute and 30 seconds later gone. Even with CPR right away, he never regained conciousness. I have found a lot of help reading the posts here and other forums. I have to admit this is the worst thing that has ever happened to me...I have been keeping myself busy and pushing myself to stay involved with others, but I agree it is very difficult. Keep in touch. BSW

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