Im Going Crazy Cuz I Lost Both Parents

[jodijeanstar]

i lost my dad on april 17, 2003 and then my mom on november 24, 2003(we had plans for thanksgiving) and its all just such a nightmare.....they were bith sick with hepitits c and i took care of both(divorced) of them simotaneously (cuz im an only child) and i am drained, broke(no life insurance either of them) and totally heartbroken. noone can even bare to understand me. and i dont have anyone to talk to. on top of all of that i am newly sober in AA again which is really hard. (i started drinking again when they got sick) so i really dont know? Im 30yrs old i graduated from college before they got sick i have the world in front of me and i have so much ive been looking forward to and getting ready for and now i cant even seem to connect with the world or even get the hell outta bed? or even goto work....im a mess.....and it feels like its just getting worse everyday.....when i thought it would get better. does anyone know the stages of grief? if anyone has any suggestions of words of wisdom lemme know:) thanks jodstar

[l0st]

I am so sorry for your loss, what a double whammy.

The stages of grief are as follows..

1)DENIAL

2)ANGER

3)BARGAINING

4)DEPRESSION

5)ACCEPTANCE

or as I call them....

1) yea right this CANNOT be happening to me

2)talk to me and I just may kick you in the chin

3)ok God give me some sign that my Dad knows I still love him and I promise to donate to the pope!

4) i am just going to lay in bed and eat chocolate until i fall into a sugar coma

5) everything that happened did so for a reason

..... I have found humor helps me get through, remembering the good times, remembering that love, knowing that my Dad was the coolest helps as well.

I was angry at the world when he passed, and it took me several months before I even began to mourn.

I know it sounds cliche, but it does get better with time ... but te key is to ALLOW it to get better....know that your parents would not want you to do anything that would hurt you, they would want you to remain true to yourself, and whatever dreams you may have.

Kierkegaard said "Life can only be understood backwards; but it must be lived forwards."

So do not beat yourself up if you cannot find "meaning"..... get out there and live and let the meaning come to you in due course.