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I Accidently Killed My Cat In The Dryer


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Yesterday i threw some towels in the dryer and turned it on...i wet to get the clothes and to my horror my cat was dead in the dryer. I have cried since then, i can't eat...i feel so guilty..i keep begging for god's, Babar's and all the powers that exist for forgiveness.....i don't think i will ever be right again...I dearly loved him..we shared ice cream...and cheese....i could never hurt him....how wil i ever forgive myself?

Begging for forgiveness......


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Oh Andrea!!! I just read your note and I felt something like a knife in my chest. I am so sorry!!! I can only begin to imagine your horror... and the excruciating pain you are still feeling.

I want to say that we all make mistakes--every single day, each one of us. Most of them don't amount to anything major, but certain ones turn out to have severe consequences, as in your situation. BUT IT WAS STILL A MISTAKE. You certainly did not mean to do anything wrong. Please, please try and forgive yourself. God is all-compassionate and forgives you and wants you to be comforted. Babar forgives you and knows your love for him. His pain is over; he is feeling absolute bliss from now on (and it's so blissful where he is that even those who have left families behind don't want to come back). There is no physical or emotional pain at all.

The only pain now is what YOU have been dealing with ever since. Your kitty knows that your soul will be here in your body for some time to come, and he wants you to be ok and to eventually be able to move on from this tragedy, because you have a life ahead of you. Remember that love is a 2-way street and that his love for you means that he wants the best for you. He would not want you to torture yourself. If the roles had been reversed and Babar had made the mistake that ended your life, you would not want him to suffer. You'd know he had just made an awful mistake. But you'd also know that making a mistake doesn't erase the love that's there. You'd want him to be comforted and to be okay, not to be paralyzed with grief and guilt. As time goes on, when you start to be able to smile again, Babar will be smiling too.

Speaking of mistakes, I went to a funeral yesterday of a girl I had grown up with. She died in a car wreck because another driver had fallen asleep at the wheel and his truck had drifted across into her lane. He made a mistake (he was tired because he had been up late the night before, visiting his girlfriend, who was in the hospital) and killed a 42-year-old woman, leaving her boys motherless. I hear that he is having just an awful awful time of it. BUT---he is only human, and he made a mistake. But his intentions were not bad. I pray that both you and he are able to forgive yourselves. As tragic and horrible as these things are, they are still mistakes, and a certain percentage of mistakes will turn out to have devastating consequences.

I am so sorry for your loss. Do you have support in your life to help you? Please keep coming to this group, and write any time.

With heartfelt support and much love,



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Thank you sooooo much.....My husband and sons have been very supportive....In time, I will go to the animal shelter and find a kitty that needs love and i will give that kitty the best life that is possible...Babar would want me to keep loving.....

I'm sorry about the loss of the woman in the accident....Time is a strange thing.....but we cannot go back once a mistake is made and change things....

I'm in college and I'm in a public speaking class, i plan to make this danger known to other kitty owners....maybe what happened to me could help someone else from making the same mistake..

I planted beautiful white lillies on his grave....I still cry a lot but he was well worth each tear...I will never forget his love and i'm sure he knows that i adored him...i never raised my voice at him....nor was anyone else allowed to....up until that dreadful morning...his life had been a good one, he was rotten, he adored ice cream, and i was always willing to share mine with him...a bite for me... a spoonful for him to lick (only vanilla his favorite).

Thank you for taking time to comfort me....God bless you...


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I am in tears as I read the messages in this thread – first, Andrea’s tragic story, then Kathy’s heartfelt and touching response, and finally Andrea’s description of what she intends to do with the lessons she’s learned from this tragic accident.

There is nothing I can add to what you two have said to each other, except to thank you for having said it in such a public way, so that so many others can benefit from your experiences.

I am astounded by your honesty, your humility, your wisdom and your generosity – and I am profoundly grateful to you both.

Most sincerely,

Marty T

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  • 2 weeks later...


I am so incredibly sorry for your loss. After reading the responses to your post, there is not a lot I can add, except one thing that kept running through my mind. A loss is a loss. You will grieve, feel sad, feel crappy, feel pain, and on and on. It's all apart of grieving. Please DO NOT blame yourself. It's not your fault! If only I could believe those words myself. It's so much easier to say it to someone else and I really mean it. My beloved Petey died on January 20, 2004. I still beat myself up thinking I should have done more or something different and he'd still be here with me.

It's so true, ACCIDENTS do happen. We are in such a society of blame, and the reality is that accidents happen. I was in a MVD accident 2 1/2 years ago. It's a mracle I am alive. Anyway, the first thing out of people's mouths "who's fault was it?", "what did the other driver do wrong?" Well it was an accidnet. No one was at fault and no one got sited. I even got letters from flipping attorneys wanting to respresent me in a lawsuit. ARG. Everything good or bad in this life is not automatically someone elses fault or our own.

I can feel it in your words that there is no way you did this on purpose. It was an accident and please stop blaming you.

You will be in my thoughts and I hope you can begin the grieving process for the loss of your precious child that you obviously loved dearly.


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  • 16 years later...

Hello I too just had the horrible experience 3 days ago of finding my cat dead in the dryer I’m still in somewhat shock over it! How did I not see her get in there how did I not hear any thumps? Just all these questions keep running through my mind it hurts but it hurts a lot more for my dog right now she has lost her companion an best friend since she was a kitten my dog has been by her side from playing crazy in the day to cleaning each other and cuddling at night I have cried for 3 days I feel there’s nothing left to cry out I barely have slept just it’s hurting me so much I had her for 4 years her an my husband was even close if he would whistle a song she would come running and follow him everywhere he went! She also knew how to open cabinets and drawers an would wake me up throwing paper in the floor but I will forever miss the sound of that now my beautiful Kitty I hope it happens fast for you and I am  so so so sorry I hope she forgives me ide never mean to hurt my babies that to me is about as bad as leaving a child in a hot car I hope I’ll be forgiven....

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@Shy  I am so sorry!  It's very hard.  I  want to give you this article to help your grieving dog.  It's true, animals do mourn.  I went through this with my dog when my husband passed away.  :( My heart goes out to you and your family.  I lost my 25 year old cat in January...she used to beg loudly for Easy Cheese to the point I couldn't hear when on the phone.  I find I miss that now, it's too quiet without her.

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