New Relationships

[AnnC]

My situation is different. My ex-husband and I divorced in 1983 because he had come to realize he was gay. We maintained a friendship off and on for years, while dating others. He fell in love, but his partner died after only four years together. I had a long but rather uncommitted relationship with another man for about 11 years, then he dumped me. After these experiences, neither of us got involved in a serious relationship for many years. When we would be in touch to catch up on each other's lives, we encouraged each other to find someone, but neither of us did until my ex became terminally ill and we became much closer as friends. And, he did then fall in love, but died four months later. His boyfriend and I became friends and give each other a lot of mutual support.

Yet since he died I feel widowed, despite the many years we were apart, despite the fact that we both had loved others. Now I can't imagine finding someone else, but no one understands, since we were divorced so long ago, they think I am a real loser and NEVER moved on. Well, maybe I didn't. Maybe I am a loser, but I can't help how I feel. Despite the divorce, he was in my life for 33 years, and I miss him so much I can't crawl out of bed some days. It gets slowly better, but still hurts so much.

Ann