What To Do With Cremated Remains?

[missingcharlie]

Our family KNEW exactly what to do with my husband's ashes. He had written a letter to me, while he was hospitalized, and told me what he wanted done with them. It took about 1 1/2 years before I could get his family to go with me, but last June (the weekend of his birthday) we went to California and spread his ashes in JUST the spot he requested. We had our own little memorial, said things to him and about him, made a cross from some sticks and spread his ashes in the lake as he wanted. I have absolutely NO regrets - I granted his final wish! To ME, that was the most important thing.

It is a completely individual decision, I think. The one thing I am glad about is that we knew what he wanted, we honored it and everyone is content with what we did. My motherinlaw had a "reading" with a psychic and my husband "said" that he saw what we had done and thought it was beautiful. THAT meant everything to me!!

Hugs to all of you!!

Patti

[Haley]

To All

I thank you from the bottom of my heart and I really take to heart what everyone has said to me about this. I am still so mixed up to me its likehow can I take her to the cementary where she said she wanted to be burried next to her dad (my grandfather) (the best man in the world) and when my grandmother passes she is going to be there also but how can I put her in the ground and cover her up with dirt how thats my question and why would I want to I no it is what MOM wanted but she never said when. I wrote my brother a letter a few weeks ago and asked him what he thought and I have talked to my sister (Heidi) and I am no it is up to me but I am starting to wonder if I will ever be ready also the cementary is up in New York and I am in Florida so how can Igo and see her the whole her you no but I also am starting to think that I am not being fair to her by keeping her in my house and I have talked to her all the time I still do I have asked her to let me know that she is ok but I don'e see where she is letting me no that she is ok. and to make matters worse next onth it will be a year oh man I am choking up already bad I have been ok this year up until now and I am starting to look at dates and all man this hurts bad. I thought about maybe on the day of the year but I am not sure I can.

I really am at a lost of this I have heard so many things abot this and all but nothing makes it any easier.

Thanks

Haley

[STARKISS]

Hi All,

Well, I have decided to go along with the others and scatter my parents remains, This will happen on the day dad died two years ago... August 25 the so called family will get together and go to somewhere and do it... I know in my heart that they (my parents would want this) So eventhough I just can not think happy thoughts about it I have to think of them... Take care Shelley

[blindbobsgirl]

i don't know about everyone else but what we did when my grandfather died was to put some of the ashes in very small containers sealed and then put in memory boxes. some of us also got some put in lockes so we can carry a reminder of how much he meant to us. I also have a shell from his 21 gun salute and a few other momentos in my memory box. the rest of the ashes will be scattered over a river in Mass. at his request.

[Steven]

It doesn't look like what I plan to do has been brought up yet, so... I intend on having some of my wife's ashes made into a diamond or three ( http://www.lifegem.com/ ). While neither of us was religious, I will be making a pilgrimage to a place that will honor her incredibly generous and loving nature and spread ashes there. It's still in the planning stages, but I hope to make this into something that she would be proud to be a part of. Lifegems are expensive, prohibitively so for many, but it is something that will be worth it for me. Also, some of her ashes will go to her parents, some to my sister (Tanya loved her dearly, as do I), and some to her own sister. I will also bring some to her grandmother's grave site. They were incredibly close, and loved to spend time together chatting animatedly and happily for hours at a time. Finally, I will spread some in the river we brought our baby daughter's ashes to.

Steve

[shell]

Steve,

I think all of your ideas are wonderful. I know everyone feels differently about ashes and what should be done with them. The bottom line is to do (if you can, and are not having disagreements with family members, as in Shellys case) what you want and think feels right. The jewels would be really special!

Hugs,

Shell

[STARKISS]

Hi All,

A change of plans for my parent's remains, I have now been told that since it means a great deal what happens to them I am to be the holder of the remains until such time I do decide that I am emotionally ready to do something with them... I am very proud of my family and that now they know that I am still attached someway to them... Take care Shelley