9 Years Gone And He Still Cant Cope

[l0st]

My father died 9 years ago, he had a life altering disease and died due to complications from it....

he was sick for over a decade prior to his death, and it took me 6 months after he died to even begin to mourn.

I miss him, but I have found a way to cope , I have found a way through the darkness.

My brother is however not so well off, we grew up in different houses, he was from my father's first marriage and he is 12 years my senior. (I am 30 yrs old)

My brother and I are the only ones left from my paternal side, my fathers parents have passed as well as his 2 siblings, and his nephew.

My brother cannot find a way to cope with this, he cant find his way out of the darkness, and I feel like he

hasn't mourned in a healthy way, he shut me out for 6 years after our father died and it has only been recently that we have reconnected.

He has a small almost non-existant faith system, and I don't know that he will ever change, he in a way feels betrayed by God, for taking his family away.

As much as I try to let him know that there is a reason for everything in life and death, it seems like he still cannot see this.

I do not know what to do to help my brother through his pain, he was very close to our Dad, and his death hit him extremely hard.

So 9 years have passed by since our father died and my brother still cannot cope.......

What should I do?

Any help is most welcome.

[hopeful]

I understand how your brother feels. I too feel like my family has been taken away. I am 37 and my dad died when I was 23 and my mom died a few months ago. My grandparents all died a long time ago. Does you brother have kids? If he is really alone then I would suggest he see a therapist. 9 years is a long time to be sad. He should also get out and do something social. He also has to realize that our departed relatives do not want us to feel sad forever. We still have our lives to live.

[l0st]

My brother has been with the same wonderful woman for 20 years, they have been married for 10, and he has a school age son. So he is not alone. He is also very active in the community with his job, and volunteer projects.

He keeps himself busy to avoid dealing with his grief.

As I mentioned in my original post he and I were estranged for several years, it was almost like he did not want to deal with the only other paternal family member he had left alive.

I appreciate your response.