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More Thoughts From Martha Hickman


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Walt,

I am thinking of you and keeping you in my prayers today as you make it through another anniversary of your wife's death. It is hard...I took my mom out last night and she was having a hard time...it was the 25th anv. of my dad's death...and this week marks 25 years since his funeral, on my sister's birthday. We never forget. But your wife still shares your memories, she is just unable to talk with you about them right now, but rest assured, she will. :closedeyes:

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  • 1 month later...

Happy Memorial Day to my friends in USA. :D

I know that sometimes it is so hard to be "Happy" or hear/see those words in our time of grief. But as Martha Hickman reminds us:

"if we had no one we loved enough to mourn for, how flat, how terrible, our lives would be."

and regarding our loved one

"what would our life had been without this one whom we loved so much? Was it worth the pain we are experiencing to have this loved one for the time that we did?"

My answer is YES

As Martha concludes:

"I will try to surround myself with the memory of love."

Thank You Jeannie for over 40 years of truly "happy" memories. :D

Edited by WaltC
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Walt, thank you for sharing that, it helps us look at it differently. Martha Hickman seems a wise woman!

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It's a beautiful sunny spring day here in New Brunswick, Canada. It will be a good day to visit Jeannie and her companion butterflies at the cemetary. There I will no doubt see some of the "locals" walking their dogs, enjoying the peacefullness that is found there. (I have yet to see any cats visiting, but I guess that's just how cats are.) :D:):D

As I read my well used copy of Healing After Loss by Martha Hickman I try to follow her advice:

"If we find ourselves repeatedly dwelling for a long time on how bad we feel, we might try instead to dwell on some of the joys that fly "as winged dreams" - wonderful times we have shared with our loved one."

This is not a simple task, but after almost 26 months it does get a little easier. Please believe me, give it a try!

When I read about "winged dreams" I recall one of Jeannie's favorite songs - she was indeed the "wind beneath my wings" and her spirit/memory still is today.

Wind Beneath My Wings

As Martha writes:

"We do have some control over how long we let our attention linger. So let's not allow the joyous subjects to get away too soon. We need them."

I just don't know how I could have survived this long without the beautiful memories of Jeannie, or without the support of friends here who understand this journey.

Thanks Jeannie - Thanks Friends

:):):)

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Dear, sweet Walt ~ I am so grateful that you have been and continue to be such an important part of the very special group of people on this site. Together we are so much stronger than each of us would be alone. What would we do without you? I hope you know how dearly you are loved. :wub:

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